Manos del Muerte
Old Line Wrestling Head Booker
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Posts: 160
Karma: 61 |  | Hidealgo 19: I don't know and I don't care
« Thread Started on Jun 12, 2007, 10:17pm » | |
Hidealgo: So then he was all like “I’m Daye, bitch”! And I said “I know you are, but what am I?” He couldn’t answer!
[Laughter from the surrounding people.]
Hidealgo: He’s quiet for like 30 seconds, which if you think about it, is an accomplishment in its own right – making him shut up, that is. Finally he goes “You’re a bitch!” So I’m like “What then, you’re saying we’re even?” He couldn’t think up a comeback for that one, either, and then Bàrbaro kicked his ass up oldschool.
[Unlike his stablemates in the Manos del Muerte, Hidealgo is an outgoing sort of guy. And truth be told, when he’s away from the ring, he’s pretty easy going as well. He’s never been one of those wrestlers who felt the urge to snarl at and intimidate random passers-by to reassure himself of his manhood… also he doesn’t want to get arrested.]
[There’s this thing called assault and battery, see.]
[But really, it’s because he just doesn’t upset that easily.]
Hidealgo: Or is that new school? I think it’s new school. They didn’t have a top rope moonsault fallaway slam in the 1980s, did they?
Random Guy: You’re the pro wrestler, you tell me.
Hidealgo: I was 6 in the 1980s, you tell me.
[And right now, Hidealgo’s at a bar.]
[In the background, a few men play pool. There’s a pair of videogame machines and an electronic dart board on the back wall, which is lit with neon signs hawking different brands of beer – Coors, Michelob, BUD…]
Random Guy: I don’t think so. But back then, they said a legdrop was a finisher. I was wondering something, if you know…
Hidealgo: Yeah?
Random Guy: How come back in the 80s people could win matches with a leg drop, and now you need Avalanche 540 T-Bone Exploder DDTs from Hell to win matches?
Hidealgo: *blank stare*
Random Guy: Well?
Hidealgo: …I’ll let you know when I figure it out. But it’s one of those things I try to not think about too much.
[The bartender, a blonde chick in jeans, a white tank top with no bra on underneath and a leopard skin cowboy hat, passes the two men each a full mug of beer.]
Bartender: Here you go, boys.
Hidealgo: Thanks, little lady.
[Digging into his pockets, he fishes out a Benjamin, and drops it into the valley in her shirt.]
Hidealgo: Don’t let this mug get empty, alright?
[She giggles and winks, then turns away. Hidealgo does not notice when the smile vanishes and she rolls her eyes, and he doesn’t think anything of the roar of laughter from the other end of the bar.]
Random Guy: You got a way with women there, dude.
[Random guy, since he hasn’t been described yet, is your average Kentucky country young man. Packing a buzzcut, tattoos on his arms and a dip in his lip, and wearing an old T-shirt and jeans.]
Hidealgo: Comes with the expericence, ese. You know why they call me 19, right?
Random Guy: Cos that’s what you claim your name is and they put it on the marquee?
Hidealgo: Half right. It’s because…
Random Guy: Groupies. Yeah. About that – how come I ain’t ever seen you come to the ring with a valet?
Hidealgo: Luz Rojo, remember?
Random Guy: So you gonna tell her she’s your valet?
Hidealgo: Shit no. If I did that, I’d be Hidealgo 19 til the day I die. I someday aspire to make it all the way up to Hidealgo 70.
Random Guy: 70?
Hidealgo: 70, because if I said Hidealgo 69, that’d just sound gay. And speaking of which, hows about that GAYlius Holmes?
[FLAWLESS. SEGUE.]
Random Guy: Don’t know.
Hidealgo: Yeah, I’m fighting Kalius Kez Holmes or whatever this coming card. I don’t really know why, it’s not like he’s got anything to do with the tag division. Maybe they just wanted to see how I’d do in a singles match in POW.
[The bartender walks by and refills their beer mugs. Hidealgo turns and watches her go.]
Hidealgo: Hey chica, you do squats?
[She ignores him. Hidealgo laughs and turns to his drinking buddy.]
Hidealgo: Nice and fit. I like em better that way. “More cushion for pushin?” Real men don’t need no cushions, quit being a pussy. That’s what I always say.
Random Guy: I see where you’re coming from…
[He’s still watching the bartender.]
[She bends down to get something off the bottom shelf. The conversation pauses.]
Random Guy: God bless America. Land that I love.
Hidealgo: USA! USA! HOOOOO!!!
[They slap fives.]
Hidealgo: Anyway, so I was telling you about GAYlius Holmes, right?
Random Guy: Right… isn’t that insult, Gaylius, kinda… shitty?
Hidealgo: Dude. All that’s kinda shitty. Well, not kinda. It’s low grade crap. I would’ve thought that any self respecting professional would try to say something a little more clever than the equivalent of “WOAHMG F4G”. It’s like, the thing you say, when you completely can’t think of anything else to say.
Random Guy: And so you said that about him because…?
Hidealgo: Cos I have nothing else to say. What’d he say about me? The same generic lines he could’ve said about any other wrestler in the fed. “I are teh main eventar, you ar teh jobblar.” I don’t know him. I don’t know what he’s done, where he’s been, and I haven’t been given any reason to care. All he did was complained about some stable that Shawn Stevens and those other guys formed. Now here’s something that might surprise you… I don’t care about that stable.
Random Guy: Why?
Hidealgo: Cos it ain’t my problemo. I don’t know them, they don’t know me, and Manos del Muerte’s got the numbers to fight against them man to man if that ends up being necessary. But all Kez wants to do is complain about them? Fine – means he’s not thinking about me. Oh, and he beat up Greg Kilgreen.
Random Guy: Dude, I beat up Greg Kilgreen. Those guys playing pool beat up Greg Kilgreen. I think the chick behind the bar beat up Greg Kilgreen once. The way I see it, the best way to get yourself noticed is to NOT beat up Greg Kilgreen for no damn reason. I can’t stop saying Greg Kilgreen. Greg Kilgreen Greg Kilgreen. Greg Kilgreen!
Hidealgo: Huh.
{RP cut short due to deadline}
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