Post by lanceerickson on Feb 19, 2007 1:08:50 GMT -6
The scene opens up with Lance Erickson standing uncomfortably at a podium wearing a loud, tacky suit. Lance Erickson is spending yet another couple of hours at a press conference. But this time it is different. Instead of just the local news crews that are interested in a Professional Wrestling story, the national news is also present because of certain allegations made against our hero of virility. Lance looks around at the reporters as they look into their cameras to get a pre-interview speech in.
NBC Reporter: And here we are today outside with Lance Erickson, a Professional Wrestler for a small independent federation unknown outside of the midwest. Power On Wrestling has now been thrown into the spotlight with their prime time performer Lance Erickson being accused of rape. Looks like we're about to start.
Lance Erickson fends off a makeup guy who tried to attack Lance's beautiful hair with a brush. Lance shoos off a couple of other people who try to make him more amenable. Lance gets the cue from a stagehand and nods. He stiffens up and looks out over the massive crowd of national news that has shown up.
Lance Erickson: Well, I guess you all know why we're here. I want to get this over and done with. You.
CBS: Mr. Erickson. Obviously we're here because you've been accused of rape. What do you have to say about this situation?
Lance Erickson: That one's easy. Absolutely untrue. I already spent the entirety of yesterday speaking with the police because 'someone' decided to have a little fun with me. And now I am here today, wasting even more time with all of you. Yes, over there.
FOX Networks: The questioning with the police only lasted a day. what made it go so smoothly?
Lance Erickson: First of all, it was stated that the sources for this information were unreliable. Second, there was no woman to come forward to support such a preposterous claim. And third, the clenching piece in my favor. You actually have to sleep with someone to rape them. Sorry, but that's how it is.
The reporters scribble furiously and start yammering like morons into their microphones. Lance looks around impatiently.
Lance Erickson: Can we speed this up?
NBC: So what happens now? What do you think of the fact that someone had 'a little fun' as you put it?
Lance Erickson: Honestly, if I hadn't lost a day and a half of time I could have been training for my match, I would be loving it. Somebody is actually that scared of me that they tried to end my career with this garbage. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess Riley. Now, I don't mess around with managers so I'm going to take it out on his client and my other opponent. If it wasn't them, then that's just another notch in my belt. But I am asking...no, I'm DEMANDING that whoever spewed this stuff about me come forward. Because I'm looking for a fight.
ABC: Mr. Erickson, what about...
Lance Erickson puts his hand up to stop the reporter.
Lance Erickson: You know what? I'm done. I've wasted too much time with all of this. I hadn't expected to be sucked into two of these press nightmares in one week. Write what you want about me. I'm out of here. I need to get back into my training routine. Oh, and no more interviews with anybody.
Lance Erickson rips his tie off and storms out of the conference, speeding out of the place in his car.
NBC Reporter: And here we are today outside with Lance Erickson, a Professional Wrestler for a small independent federation unknown outside of the midwest. Power On Wrestling has now been thrown into the spotlight with their prime time performer Lance Erickson being accused of rape. Looks like we're about to start.
Lance Erickson fends off a makeup guy who tried to attack Lance's beautiful hair with a brush. Lance shoos off a couple of other people who try to make him more amenable. Lance gets the cue from a stagehand and nods. He stiffens up and looks out over the massive crowd of national news that has shown up.
Lance Erickson: Well, I guess you all know why we're here. I want to get this over and done with. You.
CBS: Mr. Erickson. Obviously we're here because you've been accused of rape. What do you have to say about this situation?
Lance Erickson: That one's easy. Absolutely untrue. I already spent the entirety of yesterday speaking with the police because 'someone' decided to have a little fun with me. And now I am here today, wasting even more time with all of you. Yes, over there.
FOX Networks: The questioning with the police only lasted a day. what made it go so smoothly?
Lance Erickson: First of all, it was stated that the sources for this information were unreliable. Second, there was no woman to come forward to support such a preposterous claim. And third, the clenching piece in my favor. You actually have to sleep with someone to rape them. Sorry, but that's how it is.
The reporters scribble furiously and start yammering like morons into their microphones. Lance looks around impatiently.
Lance Erickson: Can we speed this up?
NBC: So what happens now? What do you think of the fact that someone had 'a little fun' as you put it?
Lance Erickson: Honestly, if I hadn't lost a day and a half of time I could have been training for my match, I would be loving it. Somebody is actually that scared of me that they tried to end my career with this garbage. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess Riley. Now, I don't mess around with managers so I'm going to take it out on his client and my other opponent. If it wasn't them, then that's just another notch in my belt. But I am asking...no, I'm DEMANDING that whoever spewed this stuff about me come forward. Because I'm looking for a fight.
ABC: Mr. Erickson, what about...
Lance Erickson puts his hand up to stop the reporter.
Lance Erickson: You know what? I'm done. I've wasted too much time with all of this. I hadn't expected to be sucked into two of these press nightmares in one week. Write what you want about me. I'm out of here. I need to get back into my training routine. Oh, and no more interviews with anybody.
Lance Erickson rips his tie off and storms out of the conference, speeding out of the place in his car.