Post by gfletch on Feb 20, 2007 22:46:28 GMT -6
{Fade in to a small gym, the kind of gym you might see on a stereotypical boxing movie. Old school, with a number of people boxing and exercising. In the center of the screen, you see a ring, and they're several men wrestling in it. A man stands inside the ring as several students practice hip tosses. The trainer signals a stop to the lesson, and looks to some of the men standing on the apron. All are watching the ring intensely, except for a tall man with a mullet, who is talking to one of the boxing trainees not far from the ring}
[Tall Man]
... and THEN I said, I said "It's gotta mind of it's own!" HAWHAWHAWHAWHAW! Whut, you don't think I'm funny, you --
[Trainer]
Hatfield!
{The tall man, Dave Hatfield, turns to face the ring, and the trainer}
[Dave]
Whut?
[Trainer]
You're not paying attention! How are you going to learn the more difficult moves if you can't master the small ones?
[Dave]
Whut the hell do I wanna learn how to pussyfoot around?
[Trainer]
So you're saying you already know all you need to?
[Dave]
I reckon so.
[Trainer]
Come on in here and prove it.
{Dave steps into the ring, and the trainer begins to circle him, pacing him for a tie-up. Just before the tie up, Dave kicks him swiftly and forcefully in the groin}
[Trainer]
AAAAGGUUHH!!!
{pause]
That's ... ILLEGAL ...
[Dave]
I don't see no guhl-damned referee here. It ain't illegal if you don't get caught. And whut the hell are you doin' in a ring without a cup anyway? Even I'm smart enough to know that.
Idiot.
{Dave kneels down, knee on the throat of the trainer, choking him, and begins to rain down punches. A student rushes into the ring and pushes Hatfield off}
[Student]
You're choking him!
[Dave]
Perfecting legit move. Cuts the air off from the brain and causes unconsciousness. Damnit, boy, aren't you paying attention in class? It's the same thing as a sleeper, only faster.
[Student]
And punches are illegal too.
[Dave]
I call them "Ocean Cyclone Punches Alpha". Sounds Japanese. Those little people are INNOVATORS, by gawd!
[Trainer](still catching his breath)
Get ... out ...
[Dave]
GRADUATION! I promise I won't let ya down.
{Step out of the ring}
Idjiot.
[Tall Man]
... and THEN I said, I said "It's gotta mind of it's own!" HAWHAWHAWHAWHAW! Whut, you don't think I'm funny, you --
[Trainer]
Hatfield!
{The tall man, Dave Hatfield, turns to face the ring, and the trainer}
[Dave]
Whut?
[Trainer]
You're not paying attention! How are you going to learn the more difficult moves if you can't master the small ones?
[Dave]
Whut the hell do I wanna learn how to pussyfoot around?
[Trainer]
So you're saying you already know all you need to?
[Dave]
I reckon so.
[Trainer]
Come on in here and prove it.
{Dave steps into the ring, and the trainer begins to circle him, pacing him for a tie-up. Just before the tie up, Dave kicks him swiftly and forcefully in the groin}
[Trainer]
AAAAGGUUHH!!!
{pause]
That's ... ILLEGAL ...
[Dave]
I don't see no guhl-damned referee here. It ain't illegal if you don't get caught. And whut the hell are you doin' in a ring without a cup anyway? Even I'm smart enough to know that.
Idiot.
{Dave kneels down, knee on the throat of the trainer, choking him, and begins to rain down punches. A student rushes into the ring and pushes Hatfield off}
[Student]
You're choking him!
[Dave]
Perfecting legit move. Cuts the air off from the brain and causes unconsciousness. Damnit, boy, aren't you paying attention in class? It's the same thing as a sleeper, only faster.
[Student]
And punches are illegal too.
[Dave]
I call them "Ocean Cyclone Punches Alpha". Sounds Japanese. Those little people are INNOVATORS, by gawd!
[Trainer](still catching his breath)
Get ... out ...
[Dave]
GRADUATION! I promise I won't let ya down.
{Step out of the ring}
Idjiot.