Post by kaleb on May 21, 2007 19:55:05 GMT -6
KALEB SHADIX; “I’m not the f**king Baha Men, Pickles! A one hit wonder? Give me a break. The only acceptable explanation for such a label that I can conceive is it only taking one wonderful hit to your fat jaw to knock your overweight ass out! Other than that? You can keep the analogies out of this, or else I’ll dismember and mutilate your face so bad everyone will be asking “Who Let The Dog Out”?”
As he spoke, nothing but pure blackness enshrouded the screen. Once he finished, the display suddenly shifted from the dim obscurity to a close-up of POW Midwestern Television Champion Kaleb Shadix. In a reference to Final Cut, it’s apparent that Kaleb currently is “ready for his close-up”. Boasting an arrogant smirk on his freshly shaven face, he continued.
KALEB SHADIX; “Nick, as a previous expert gambler myself, allow me to give you a bit of advice: betting on yourself to walk away the unified POW and UWC Television Champion was probably one of the dumbest things you could’ve done in your entire life, second to actually stepping inside the squared circle against me which can ultimately be considered career suicide. You know, seeing as you’ve garnered so much money in your possession over the years, Nick, I figured you would know how to manage it better. However, it looks like I was mistaken. Betting on anyone to beat me, let alone relying on yourself to do so, is pretty much a waste of money. If you really enjoy throwing away your precious dough like that, why not send some my way? I know you aren’t particularly fond of me, Nick, but I can’t be any worse than those scumbags at the betting venues your generously handing money over to.”
With a slight shrug of his shoulders, the champ soon continued.
KALEB SHADIX; “You may be under the impression that you outsmarted me or whatever you’re going around believing, but in reality all your really doing is delaying the inevitable. You’ve made it clearly known that your sole intention and focus was acquiring a match against Jay T. Nitro, and defeating him just like you somehow did back in the past at one point in time. But, if by some miracle you actually do upset the “Real Big Thing” or whatever the f**k he likes to call himself, then you do realize you’re ultimately just going to be tossed inside the ring in another match against me, right? When hell freezes over and you actually beat JTN, your astonishing victory will be bittersweet, but after your grand triumph I will be waiting right there ready to finish you off once and for all. Since you seem to believe I’m a one hit wonder and I’ll eventually fizzle out, I’ll be sure to solidify my status as a megastar by leaving a lasting impression… on your face!”
Kaleb planted his curled fist into his other hand, and a smacking sound reverberated as the two connected. After indicating what he was planning on potentially doing unto Nick, Shadix carried on.
KALEB SHADIX; “You can try and persuade everyone how you’ll continue building onto your legacy by walking away from SuperMania III as both the UWC and POW Television Champs, and also brag about how you’ve always had Showtimes’ and Nitro’s numbers, but what good is that going to do you when you’re against me? You obviously don’t have my number, and as a matter of fact it is I that has your number, Pickles. You could’ve beaten Nitro and Showtime a billion times respectively for all I care, but maybe you haven’t noticed this: I’m not either of those two! I’m Kaleb f**king Shadix, the longest reigning POW Television Champion, and the hottest f**king commodity and biggest rising star the wrestling world has ever gazed upon! I’m so hot right now that you need a pair of sunglasses covering your eyes just to get a glance at me without impairing your vision.”
He raises his right arm and shields his eyes for a moment to go along with his statement. Then, raising his pointer finger he places it on his shoulder, but quickly withdrawals it back, giving off the notion that he is too hot to handle. The champ cracks a slight smile.
KALEB SHADIX; “I don’t even know why I’m giving you so much attention, Nick. All of this talk about you is making it seem like you’re actually going to beat JTN, and to be honest I really don’t see that happening. Hell, it’s not even me, hardly anyone is expecting you to walk away victorious, Nick. JTN prevailing over you is almost as certain as me prevailing over Showtime. JTN’s been out of the scene for quite a bit, but I have no problems giving props where they’re do, and Nitro definitely deserves his. The guy is an outstanding wrestler, and only a select few can even rightfully match their careers up to his. Someday I hope to assemble an everlasting imperial legacy to leave behind that nobody can contest, and let’s be honest here, at the rate I’m going now I’ll go down as one of the best in wrestling history in a matter of f**king months! Nick, you hit the nail on the head when you described my current success as a hot streak, except the streak I’m riding is so hot the flame will never extinguish.”
Kaleb looks up and looks as if he is in a trance; he appears as if he could even be daydreaming a bit. With an arrogant smirk, he drops from cloud nine and returns to reality. He then gleams back towards the camera.
KALEB SHADIX; “Nitro, after you hopefully dispose of that joke known as Nick Pickles and I do the same with Showtime, I am looking forward to the challenge you will propose. At such an extravagant event like SuperMania III, I need to make a big mark, a huge impact. Against the likes of Showtime and Nick Pickles that isn’t necessarily possible, but against the likes of such a legend as yourself I can go down in the record books. Quite a few of the guys around here have been proclaiming that their respective matches will potentially ‘steal the show’, so to speak, at SuperMania III, but those f**kers are just over exaggerating. Kaleb Shadix against Jay T. Nitro sure sounds like a show stealer, though. Sure the over-hyped FDCM and Capaci match is on the card, but will two washed-up clowns battling it out REALLY outshine a match where a top-tier legend takes on one of the fastest rising stars this company has seen? I don’t think so. Of course, the horrendous betting habits of Nick Pickles would allow him to bet on something so stupid, but to normal people with an actual big of intelligence can realize how big of a match between Nitro and myself would really be.”
Kaleb suddenly got a bit more serious. He leaned forward and inched closer towards the camera and spoke one final time.
KALEB SHADIX; “You’ve been wrestling for years, Nitro, but throughout all the experience you have, all the matches you’ve been through, and the many opponents you went against, I think it’s safe to say that you’ve never been up against someone like me. My fast-rising status is almost unimaginable. I am the f**king rookie phenomenon of POW. I’ve yet to be pinned, submitted, or even come remotely close to losing. Think you can change that, mister legend? Ha, we’ll see about that. I’m hungry, I’m determined, and I will not stop until I get what I want. What I want right now is a victory over legend-status ass, and that UWC Television Title to be firmly in my possession to go along with my matching POW Television Championship. I’m not intimidated simply because you’ve been doing this longer than I have, you’ve beaten more guys then I have, or you’ve won more titles that I have. I don’t care what the f**k you’ve done in the past. Flying Douche Bag Man tried going down that route bragging about his past credentials, but everyone saw what that got him: his first ass kicking here in POW. Maybe I’m wasting too much time evaluating my potential second opponents of the night, but seriously, who the f**k cares about Showtime? The guy hasn’t even shown his face thus far this week. Guess he realizes what he’s up against and doesn’t have the audacity to trash talk me like he normally does against his less-than-stellar opponents. Until this guy can actually be a man show his face, he doesn’t deserve any recognition a second longer. So, with that said, f**k Showtime. That little bitch.”
Kaleb shook his head from left to right in disgust. Suddenly, he stood up, and his POW Midwestern Television Title came into view. The scene then rapidly cut out, leaving the sought-after belt as the last image displayed on the screen.
As he spoke, nothing but pure blackness enshrouded the screen. Once he finished, the display suddenly shifted from the dim obscurity to a close-up of POW Midwestern Television Champion Kaleb Shadix. In a reference to Final Cut, it’s apparent that Kaleb currently is “ready for his close-up”. Boasting an arrogant smirk on his freshly shaven face, he continued.
KALEB SHADIX; “Nick, as a previous expert gambler myself, allow me to give you a bit of advice: betting on yourself to walk away the unified POW and UWC Television Champion was probably one of the dumbest things you could’ve done in your entire life, second to actually stepping inside the squared circle against me which can ultimately be considered career suicide. You know, seeing as you’ve garnered so much money in your possession over the years, Nick, I figured you would know how to manage it better. However, it looks like I was mistaken. Betting on anyone to beat me, let alone relying on yourself to do so, is pretty much a waste of money. If you really enjoy throwing away your precious dough like that, why not send some my way? I know you aren’t particularly fond of me, Nick, but I can’t be any worse than those scumbags at the betting venues your generously handing money over to.”
With a slight shrug of his shoulders, the champ soon continued.
KALEB SHADIX; “You may be under the impression that you outsmarted me or whatever you’re going around believing, but in reality all your really doing is delaying the inevitable. You’ve made it clearly known that your sole intention and focus was acquiring a match against Jay T. Nitro, and defeating him just like you somehow did back in the past at one point in time. But, if by some miracle you actually do upset the “Real Big Thing” or whatever the f**k he likes to call himself, then you do realize you’re ultimately just going to be tossed inside the ring in another match against me, right? When hell freezes over and you actually beat JTN, your astonishing victory will be bittersweet, but after your grand triumph I will be waiting right there ready to finish you off once and for all. Since you seem to believe I’m a one hit wonder and I’ll eventually fizzle out, I’ll be sure to solidify my status as a megastar by leaving a lasting impression… on your face!”
Kaleb planted his curled fist into his other hand, and a smacking sound reverberated as the two connected. After indicating what he was planning on potentially doing unto Nick, Shadix carried on.
KALEB SHADIX; “You can try and persuade everyone how you’ll continue building onto your legacy by walking away from SuperMania III as both the UWC and POW Television Champs, and also brag about how you’ve always had Showtimes’ and Nitro’s numbers, but what good is that going to do you when you’re against me? You obviously don’t have my number, and as a matter of fact it is I that has your number, Pickles. You could’ve beaten Nitro and Showtime a billion times respectively for all I care, but maybe you haven’t noticed this: I’m not either of those two! I’m Kaleb f**king Shadix, the longest reigning POW Television Champion, and the hottest f**king commodity and biggest rising star the wrestling world has ever gazed upon! I’m so hot right now that you need a pair of sunglasses covering your eyes just to get a glance at me without impairing your vision.”
He raises his right arm and shields his eyes for a moment to go along with his statement. Then, raising his pointer finger he places it on his shoulder, but quickly withdrawals it back, giving off the notion that he is too hot to handle. The champ cracks a slight smile.
KALEB SHADIX; “I don’t even know why I’m giving you so much attention, Nick. All of this talk about you is making it seem like you’re actually going to beat JTN, and to be honest I really don’t see that happening. Hell, it’s not even me, hardly anyone is expecting you to walk away victorious, Nick. JTN prevailing over you is almost as certain as me prevailing over Showtime. JTN’s been out of the scene for quite a bit, but I have no problems giving props where they’re do, and Nitro definitely deserves his. The guy is an outstanding wrestler, and only a select few can even rightfully match their careers up to his. Someday I hope to assemble an everlasting imperial legacy to leave behind that nobody can contest, and let’s be honest here, at the rate I’m going now I’ll go down as one of the best in wrestling history in a matter of f**king months! Nick, you hit the nail on the head when you described my current success as a hot streak, except the streak I’m riding is so hot the flame will never extinguish.”
Kaleb looks up and looks as if he is in a trance; he appears as if he could even be daydreaming a bit. With an arrogant smirk, he drops from cloud nine and returns to reality. He then gleams back towards the camera.
KALEB SHADIX; “Nitro, after you hopefully dispose of that joke known as Nick Pickles and I do the same with Showtime, I am looking forward to the challenge you will propose. At such an extravagant event like SuperMania III, I need to make a big mark, a huge impact. Against the likes of Showtime and Nick Pickles that isn’t necessarily possible, but against the likes of such a legend as yourself I can go down in the record books. Quite a few of the guys around here have been proclaiming that their respective matches will potentially ‘steal the show’, so to speak, at SuperMania III, but those f**kers are just over exaggerating. Kaleb Shadix against Jay T. Nitro sure sounds like a show stealer, though. Sure the over-hyped FDCM and Capaci match is on the card, but will two washed-up clowns battling it out REALLY outshine a match where a top-tier legend takes on one of the fastest rising stars this company has seen? I don’t think so. Of course, the horrendous betting habits of Nick Pickles would allow him to bet on something so stupid, but to normal people with an actual big of intelligence can realize how big of a match between Nitro and myself would really be.”
Kaleb suddenly got a bit more serious. He leaned forward and inched closer towards the camera and spoke one final time.
KALEB SHADIX; “You’ve been wrestling for years, Nitro, but throughout all the experience you have, all the matches you’ve been through, and the many opponents you went against, I think it’s safe to say that you’ve never been up against someone like me. My fast-rising status is almost unimaginable. I am the f**king rookie phenomenon of POW. I’ve yet to be pinned, submitted, or even come remotely close to losing. Think you can change that, mister legend? Ha, we’ll see about that. I’m hungry, I’m determined, and I will not stop until I get what I want. What I want right now is a victory over legend-status ass, and that UWC Television Title to be firmly in my possession to go along with my matching POW Television Championship. I’m not intimidated simply because you’ve been doing this longer than I have, you’ve beaten more guys then I have, or you’ve won more titles that I have. I don’t care what the f**k you’ve done in the past. Flying Douche Bag Man tried going down that route bragging about his past credentials, but everyone saw what that got him: his first ass kicking here in POW. Maybe I’m wasting too much time evaluating my potential second opponents of the night, but seriously, who the f**k cares about Showtime? The guy hasn’t even shown his face thus far this week. Guess he realizes what he’s up against and doesn’t have the audacity to trash talk me like he normally does against his less-than-stellar opponents. Until this guy can actually be a man show his face, he doesn’t deserve any recognition a second longer. So, with that said, f**k Showtime. That little bitch.”
Kaleb shook his head from left to right in disgust. Suddenly, he stood up, and his POW Midwestern Television Title came into view. The scene then rapidly cut out, leaving the sought-after belt as the last image displayed on the screen.