Post by thewobert on Aug 20, 2007 0:00:15 GMT -6
The camera opens on the Kansas City Convention Center. The local chapter of the Republican Party is having a rally to get ready for the upcoming local elections. Amongst the finely dressed politicians, Big Norm, the Foot Long Midget, pushes through the crowd. He slips past standing men and women with a disgusted look across his face. A man bends down and tries to pin a button on Big Norm’s shirt. Big Norm gives him a “Hell no sucka!” and slaps the pin off his shirt. He dashes to the back of the room where Buddy stands quietly.
“Buddy? What the hell are we doing at the Republican Convention?” Big Norm barks. “I’m a freaking Democrat sucka! And you’re an Independent!”
“We here to promote my match with Zevon this Friday, at the Star Pavilion at The Ameristar Casino, right here, Kansas City, Missouri!” Buddy shouts and gives the “Buddy Jesus” look for the camera.
“But why here?” Big Norm asks.
“Cause of this guy. Let me draw your attention to the man on my left.” Buddy says and draws the camera to the man next to him.
“What’s up guys?” David Arquette says with a smile.
“David Arquette?! What the hell are you doing here sucka?” Big Norm shouts in surprise.
“I’m in town for the filming of Scream 4!” Mr. Arquette says with joy.
“Scream 4? But Scream One through Three sucks!” Big Norm barks.
“Pardon?” Mr. Arquette asks with a questionable look.
“Eh….. Mr. Arquette has been hanging out with me today so I can prepare for my match with Zevon.” Buddy butts in.
“Heck yeah! Buddy is a riot. And jeez Buddy, call me David……..” Mr. Arquette chuckles.
“How is this movie star helping you with Zevon?” Big Norm ponders.
“Well, Zevon thinks I’m a disgrace to the wrestling world. He thinks I don’t deserve to be champion because I don’t have any technical wrestling skills. He thinks I’m a delinquent competitor and thinks he is more worthy of wearing Buddy Jr. He thinks he’ll kick me around the ring because he is the fine art of wrestling.” Buddy states.
“Buddy, you know I like Zevon. He is a hell of a dude, and I hear he makes a mean sandwich.” Big Norm retorts.
“I like Zevon too. He sticks to his guns, and you gotta respect that. But he is wrong about one thing. It’s a fact wrestling is a sport of physical specimens, which I’m not exactly sure Zevon is that with that gut of his. But it is also about entertainment.” Buddy continues.
“What do you mean?” Big Norm questions.
“Zevon has forgotten that wrestling is sport entertainment. We put our lives on the line for the fans. Zevon is all about Zevon. He is a expert in being a wrestler, but he isn’t when it comes to giving the fans what they want. It’s about getting the fans out of their seats, it’s about hearing them roar, and it’s about giving them the match they came to see. Zevon can dominate in the ring, but when it comes down to it, it’s about giving the fans what they want. Zevon doesn’t do that.” Buddy states.
“So, you think you can entertain your way past Zevon?” Big Norm asks.
“No, I’m going to have to go toe-to-toe with Zevon. It’s going to be a battle. Zevon thinks that it is the delinquent against wrestling royalty. But royalty that doesn’t have its people’s backing is lousy royalty. I’m going to put it all on the line for the fans, and hope they back me to victory.” Buddy answers.
“So what’s with David Arquette?” Big Norm asks.
“Well, as you know, David isn’t a wrestler at all……..” Buddy starts.
“Darn right. I can’t wrestle a lick.” David adds.
“So?” Big Norm asks.
“So………. Back in 2001, David Arquette became Heavyweight Champion of old WCW. He was an entertainer and won the belt!” Buddy declares.
“I was a champion!” David says with a smile.
“Damn right! So, if David Arquette was Heavyweight Champion of WCW, I am surely not that much of a delinquent. Entertainers have just as much right to the ring as wrestling experts too. And this Friday, I’m going show Zevon that entertainers and fan favorites can match up against wrestling experts!” Buddy says with a smile.
“That sounds good Buddy, and I’m sure you and Zevon are going to have an epic battle, but what’s with the trench coat?” Big Norm ponders.
“That’s right Buddy! The fans are going to love it!” David shouts.
“Damn right! I can do it! I can beat Zevon! I can give the fans a hell of a match!” Buddy shouts back.
“Um…… Buddy?” Big Norm asks.
“Yes you can dude!” David shouts and hits Buddy shoulder.
“Hell yeah dude!” Buddy shouts and starts to run as he puts on a Zevon mask that looks a lot like Richard Nixon.
“What the hell?” Big Norm blurts out as Buddy runs by.
“Go Buddy!” David shouts as Buddy throws off the trench coat, showing his completely naked body, except for purple socks and black shoes.
“What the-” Big Norm starts as Buddy hops on stage and throws his arms up in the air.
“POW RULES! DON’T MISS IT THIS FRIDAY!” Buddy shouts as he holds up peace signs.
“What the hell is he doing?” Big Norm shouts.
“Dude, Buddy is being entertaining………” David replies with a smile.
“GO BUDDY LOVE!” Buddy shouts from behind the mask, and runs back stage.
"Tell me he didn't just do that?" Big Norm says, still in shock.
"He he he....." David can only laugh.
“That’s……… crazy…………” Big Norm shakes his head.
“Come on dude, It’s Buddy freaking Love! He’s giving the fans what they want!” David states.
“A glimpse at his Little Buddy?” Big Norm questions.
“He he he………I don’t know dude……… I hope nobody thinks that was Zevon…….. I mean, masks these days look real to me……” David jokes.
“Buddy? What the hell are we doing at the Republican Convention?” Big Norm barks. “I’m a freaking Democrat sucka! And you’re an Independent!”
“We here to promote my match with Zevon this Friday, at the Star Pavilion at The Ameristar Casino, right here, Kansas City, Missouri!” Buddy shouts and gives the “Buddy Jesus” look for the camera.
“But why here?” Big Norm asks.
“Cause of this guy. Let me draw your attention to the man on my left.” Buddy says and draws the camera to the man next to him.
“What’s up guys?” David Arquette says with a smile.
“David Arquette?! What the hell are you doing here sucka?” Big Norm shouts in surprise.
“I’m in town for the filming of Scream 4!” Mr. Arquette says with joy.
“Scream 4? But Scream One through Three sucks!” Big Norm barks.
“Pardon?” Mr. Arquette asks with a questionable look.
“Eh….. Mr. Arquette has been hanging out with me today so I can prepare for my match with Zevon.” Buddy butts in.
“Heck yeah! Buddy is a riot. And jeez Buddy, call me David……..” Mr. Arquette chuckles.
“How is this movie star helping you with Zevon?” Big Norm ponders.
“Well, Zevon thinks I’m a disgrace to the wrestling world. He thinks I don’t deserve to be champion because I don’t have any technical wrestling skills. He thinks I’m a delinquent competitor and thinks he is more worthy of wearing Buddy Jr. He thinks he’ll kick me around the ring because he is the fine art of wrestling.” Buddy states.
“Buddy, you know I like Zevon. He is a hell of a dude, and I hear he makes a mean sandwich.” Big Norm retorts.
“I like Zevon too. He sticks to his guns, and you gotta respect that. But he is wrong about one thing. It’s a fact wrestling is a sport of physical specimens, which I’m not exactly sure Zevon is that with that gut of his. But it is also about entertainment.” Buddy continues.
“What do you mean?” Big Norm questions.
“Zevon has forgotten that wrestling is sport entertainment. We put our lives on the line for the fans. Zevon is all about Zevon. He is a expert in being a wrestler, but he isn’t when it comes to giving the fans what they want. It’s about getting the fans out of their seats, it’s about hearing them roar, and it’s about giving them the match they came to see. Zevon can dominate in the ring, but when it comes down to it, it’s about giving the fans what they want. Zevon doesn’t do that.” Buddy states.
“So, you think you can entertain your way past Zevon?” Big Norm asks.
“No, I’m going to have to go toe-to-toe with Zevon. It’s going to be a battle. Zevon thinks that it is the delinquent against wrestling royalty. But royalty that doesn’t have its people’s backing is lousy royalty. I’m going to put it all on the line for the fans, and hope they back me to victory.” Buddy answers.
“So what’s with David Arquette?” Big Norm asks.
“Well, as you know, David isn’t a wrestler at all……..” Buddy starts.
“Darn right. I can’t wrestle a lick.” David adds.
“So?” Big Norm asks.
“So………. Back in 2001, David Arquette became Heavyweight Champion of old WCW. He was an entertainer and won the belt!” Buddy declares.
“I was a champion!” David says with a smile.
“Damn right! So, if David Arquette was Heavyweight Champion of WCW, I am surely not that much of a delinquent. Entertainers have just as much right to the ring as wrestling experts too. And this Friday, I’m going show Zevon that entertainers and fan favorites can match up against wrestling experts!” Buddy says with a smile.
“That sounds good Buddy, and I’m sure you and Zevon are going to have an epic battle, but what’s with the trench coat?” Big Norm ponders.
“That’s right Buddy! The fans are going to love it!” David shouts.
“Damn right! I can do it! I can beat Zevon! I can give the fans a hell of a match!” Buddy shouts back.
“Um…… Buddy?” Big Norm asks.
“Yes you can dude!” David shouts and hits Buddy shoulder.
“Hell yeah dude!” Buddy shouts and starts to run as he puts on a Zevon mask that looks a lot like Richard Nixon.
“What the hell?” Big Norm blurts out as Buddy runs by.
“Go Buddy!” David shouts as Buddy throws off the trench coat, showing his completely naked body, except for purple socks and black shoes.
“What the-” Big Norm starts as Buddy hops on stage and throws his arms up in the air.
“POW RULES! DON’T MISS IT THIS FRIDAY!” Buddy shouts as he holds up peace signs.
“What the hell is he doing?” Big Norm shouts.
“Dude, Buddy is being entertaining………” David replies with a smile.
“GO BUDDY LOVE!” Buddy shouts from behind the mask, and runs back stage.
"Tell me he didn't just do that?" Big Norm says, still in shock.
"He he he....." David can only laugh.
“That’s……… crazy…………” Big Norm shakes his head.
“Come on dude, It’s Buddy freaking Love! He’s giving the fans what they want!” David states.
“A glimpse at his Little Buddy?” Big Norm questions.
“He he he………I don’t know dude……… I hope nobody thinks that was Zevon…….. I mean, masks these days look real to me……” David jokes.