Post by Zevon on Jul 6, 2007 16:32:00 GMT -6
(A paragon of virtue is standing in front of a majestic maple tree, holding the Power on Wrestling Eastern Heavyweight Championship over his shoulder. The title is firmly placed in its usual spot around his noble waist, completing the ring attire of the champion. A pleasant looking Hispanic woman comes in from behind and drapes a Mexican flag over the left shoulder of the champion. On the right is placed the mighty red of the Chinese flag. An orange feline runs through the background chasing an insect. And now the scene is set and words of wisdom shall be offered.)
Zevon: Depraved souls, ladies of the night, drunkards of all shapes and sizes. I will not hide in my million dollar suite. I do not have one; I am a man of the people. I cannot let you all into my thoughts and dreams, I am no sorcerer, so I shall paint a picture for you all through graceful words.
Sunday night, Power On Wrestling engages in yet another in a long line of sickening patriotic themed events. Last month POW officials thought it best to shove their noses up the asses of the United States of America’s very own batch of murderous thugs. POW’s resident party boy Buddy “Love” hosted a grand celebration in honor of said decrepit beings. As part of that celebration, POW’s very own fan favorite and criminal John Anthony defiled the sacred ground of a professional wrestling ring by literally wallowing in mud with a group of tabloid whores. John Anthony’s private life is rife with encounters with syphilitic streetwalkers, but bringing this depravity to the center of the squared circle is unforgivable. As a being of great integrity, a being who honors and respects the art of professional wrestling, the Champion of Everywhere takes such an act as an attack on his own very noble person. John Anthony does not belong in a wrestling ring period, yet alone have the opportunity to represent professional wrestling as a champion.
Unfortunately, due to their great and infallible wisdom, Randall Lovejoy and Tony Hunter and Tito Capaci have deemed it appropriate to not only hire the miscreant John Anthony but also to grant him an Eastern Heavyweight Championship match. This act emanating from two proud, corrupt Americans and their Anglophile Brit-American hybrid lapdog is a slap in the face to this noble profession. And a knife to the heart of one extremely gallant Eastern Heavyweight Champion. Instead of heeding the advice of the champion and encouraging his efforts to ensure the quality and righteousness of those competing for championship gold, they have caved to the decadence and immorality of the American way of life. They encourage not honor, respect, and virtue but the wickedness, immorality and criminal enterprises that have come to form the base of American society.
Sunday evening, Power On Wrestling visits Philadelphia. Red, White, and Bruised caters yet again to the jingoist American sheep. But the Eastern Heavyweight Champion will not stand by this time. A well-timed plea from Tito Capaci and his government cronies will do no good. The truth will be broadcast and honor will be dealt to those truly deserving. Sunday night, the quest intensifies. Sunday night, the Eastern Heavyweight Champion will cleanse professional wrestling from the taint of John Anthony. And by no means will that be the end.
(The scene fades as Mr. Kitters again scrambles through the background. Zevon looks to each of his shoulders and smiles.)
Zevon: Depraved souls, ladies of the night, drunkards of all shapes and sizes. I will not hide in my million dollar suite. I do not have one; I am a man of the people. I cannot let you all into my thoughts and dreams, I am no sorcerer, so I shall paint a picture for you all through graceful words.
Sunday night, Power On Wrestling engages in yet another in a long line of sickening patriotic themed events. Last month POW officials thought it best to shove their noses up the asses of the United States of America’s very own batch of murderous thugs. POW’s resident party boy Buddy “Love” hosted a grand celebration in honor of said decrepit beings. As part of that celebration, POW’s very own fan favorite and criminal John Anthony defiled the sacred ground of a professional wrestling ring by literally wallowing in mud with a group of tabloid whores. John Anthony’s private life is rife with encounters with syphilitic streetwalkers, but bringing this depravity to the center of the squared circle is unforgivable. As a being of great integrity, a being who honors and respects the art of professional wrestling, the Champion of Everywhere takes such an act as an attack on his own very noble person. John Anthony does not belong in a wrestling ring period, yet alone have the opportunity to represent professional wrestling as a champion.
Unfortunately, due to their great and infallible wisdom, Randall Lovejoy and Tony Hunter and Tito Capaci have deemed it appropriate to not only hire the miscreant John Anthony but also to grant him an Eastern Heavyweight Championship match. This act emanating from two proud, corrupt Americans and their Anglophile Brit-American hybrid lapdog is a slap in the face to this noble profession. And a knife to the heart of one extremely gallant Eastern Heavyweight Champion. Instead of heeding the advice of the champion and encouraging his efforts to ensure the quality and righteousness of those competing for championship gold, they have caved to the decadence and immorality of the American way of life. They encourage not honor, respect, and virtue but the wickedness, immorality and criminal enterprises that have come to form the base of American society.
Sunday evening, Power On Wrestling visits Philadelphia. Red, White, and Bruised caters yet again to the jingoist American sheep. But the Eastern Heavyweight Champion will not stand by this time. A well-timed plea from Tito Capaci and his government cronies will do no good. The truth will be broadcast and honor will be dealt to those truly deserving. Sunday night, the quest intensifies. Sunday night, the Eastern Heavyweight Champion will cleanse professional wrestling from the taint of John Anthony. And by no means will that be the end.
(The scene fades as Mr. Kitters again scrambles through the background. Zevon looks to each of his shoulders and smiles.)
