Post by imtehlueser on Jun 21, 2007 23:35:21 GMT -6
Yet again in David Hilt's hotel room, we see Dave himself, Jack Greaves, and his manager, Guy Haight, slumped around the room, looking bored. But there's balloons, alcohol, and other various things you'd find at an adult party. It's unsure why they're completely lifeless when they seem to be having some kind of party or celebration, but Jack seems to be the most displeased.
Jack: I knew you guys were boring! We even throw a party and no one is having fun... No pinata, no pin the tail on the donkey, and there isn't even enough room in her for musical chairs! Don't get me started on-
Dave: (Cutting him off) Yeah, please, don't get started. On anything.
This is you guys' fault anyway. You tell me you have a surprise for me for when I get back to the room, and it's this piece of shit excuse for a party? I just lost to Josh Eagles because I was lazy out there in the ring, and you do this? What makes you think I'm in any mood for it? It's not going to cheer me up. And being part celebration for winning the title? Are you kidding? It feels even worse now that you waited a whole week for something like this. Ugh, I'd rather go through that live sex fiasco than this... At least there were people there, even if they were just the fans.
Guy: Hey buddy, blame that on Jack. I told him to go through my list of contacts, call everyone, and just tell them to come here. He should have been able to handle something that simple!
Jack: And I did! I just forgot until yesterday, and then no one had time to come... Jerks.
Dave: Golden. I won this title fair and square this time, and I've been busting my ass for it, and I haven't been able to enjoy it over bullshit like slacking against Josh Eagles, a crappy "party," and on top of that, being put in a match with Buddy Love? He's a clown! He thinks we're alike? In bizzaro world maybe. The last thing I need is this dude thinking he should have a shot at this belt too. I don't think anyone would view him as a respectable champ, and I'll be damned if I'm associated with that, and especially thought of like that. I won't be cheated out of this title twice, especially after overcoming the first time!
And really, what was with those lame-ass pickup lines? Knowing him, I would take it as jokes...but also, knowing him, he's probably dead serious. He doesn't know any better, I guess. His only secret is those beads I bet, you see those girls who do anything for them during Mardi Gras or the Jerry Springer Show, which got completely shitty after they started breaking up the fights, by the way. And it's not like he's the only one who can get girls anyway, hell, earlier today I hacked some pogeys in pokemon diamond to trade to my friend's girlfriend. I bet she wants ME now, after getting that shiny Cresellia. Heh, yeah. Pimpin, or in this case, PokePimpin.
Jack: Wait, but you are alike! He's funny...you're funny. You're good in the ring, and so is he. He's friendly...and I guess you used to be. OH! And he likes to film his sexual escapades, and you had that thing with the roadtrip on the first New England show and...
Dave: Shut it up! I don't want to hear it. My career has been plagued by disrespect for being the funny new guy and nothing more. I mean, the only media attention I get is, what? Some dude named David K. who's obsessed with writing OWW articles about me? The only wrestler who seems to take me seriously is the other joke of POW. I need to get past that. And Guy....what exactly were you so busy with that you couldn't call those contacts yourself? I'm curious.
Guy: Uh...me? Uh, nothing, nothing at all. I just, well, I had to plan this! It's uh...it's not easy to get balloons and stuff...right? Plus I had to straighten out some of the people Jack called, he scared some half to death, and made the other half hate me. Something about how he talked nonstop about kittens, someone named Mr. Kitters, hurracanranas, and furry futanari hentai, god knows what that is, that he found on your laptop. They thought he was some kind of perverted stalker killer. And let me tell you, the people I know aren't small-time, so they take stalking very seriously. What would be do without someone like J.lo, and those beautiful...voluptuous, sexy million-dollar-insured buns.... Wait, I mean, someone with her vast talent in mediums such as acting and singing.
Dave: ...Right.
Jack: Hey wait! I remember now what he told me about why he couldn't. He had an appointment at some club where the "chip n' males" were performing. I think I've heard of them before, great band if I recall right. They were in his black book that I had to go through to call people to come tonight, so I guess they're friends too...If he has so many rich friends...why am I not more rich?
Guy is flabberbasted, with Jack inadvertently ousting him as possibly neglecting the feeble minded dude, and at the sudden shock and realization that Jack used the wrong address book to call Guy's contacts...
Guy: Wait...Jack! I told you to use the BROWN one! Please tell me you did not call the chip....my god... Listen, Dave, I uh...I just know them through a mutual friend....and uh....I MANAGE them, yeah. I book shows for them and stuff...
Dave: What? Who are they even. Jack said they're a band? I guess they're trying to knock of the chippendales then...which i only know about from switching through channels and landing on E! Entertainment once...! (Dave does a literal >_> face)
A few seconds later, there's a deafening knock at the door, as if someone was trying to break it down. Dave rushes to the door and opens it, and 4 firemen rush in like bats out of hell.
Fireman 1: There's a fire! We've evacuated everyone, and traced the source of it to this room!
Jack: Hehehehe. Fire!
Guy: Oh god no...
Fireman 2: We'll need to extinguish it right away to save this hotel!
Dave's eyes are popping out of his skull, and his heart is pumping as if he just got punched in the chest. Unsure how he couldn't tell there was a fire in his hotel room, he doesn't have time to respond before the firemen continue they're screaming and manhandling of Dave.
Fireman 3: That's right! I can even smell it!
Fireman 4: The fire, the flames...of passion!
Dave does the Rock Eyebrow so extremely, that it seems one falls off at his chin, and one flies off from his forehead. The first fireman pushes Dave to the bed, and proceeds to rip off is jacket...and there's no shirt underneath.
Dave: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT?
Guy: Oh...oh sh...Guys...Chip, I didn't book you for this party...heheh...heh, what are you doing here?
"Chip": What? Oh hey, it's the dude who's there at the club every weekend, wait, was he the one who liked getting cockslapped-
Guy: (frantically cutting him off) Woah! Ho ho ho ho! That language is inappropriate around someone with the emotional age of Jack's mind! This is uh, completely unhealthy and irresponsible for Jack. I'm going to need you guys to leave.
"Chip": But dude, we were specifically called to this room.
Guy: Hahah, no time for that now, heh, jack, young mind, virgin eyes, etcetera etcetera, let's go guys, out.
Guy's face is beet red as he pushes the four men out of the hotel room, and slams it shut. Dave, Jack and Guy just sit there...not knowing what to think, deathly quiet.
Jack: So that was...interesting.
Dave and Guy: Shut up, Jack.
Jack: I knew you guys were boring! We even throw a party and no one is having fun... No pinata, no pin the tail on the donkey, and there isn't even enough room in her for musical chairs! Don't get me started on-
Dave: (Cutting him off) Yeah, please, don't get started. On anything.
This is you guys' fault anyway. You tell me you have a surprise for me for when I get back to the room, and it's this piece of shit excuse for a party? I just lost to Josh Eagles because I was lazy out there in the ring, and you do this? What makes you think I'm in any mood for it? It's not going to cheer me up. And being part celebration for winning the title? Are you kidding? It feels even worse now that you waited a whole week for something like this. Ugh, I'd rather go through that live sex fiasco than this... At least there were people there, even if they were just the fans.
Guy: Hey buddy, blame that on Jack. I told him to go through my list of contacts, call everyone, and just tell them to come here. He should have been able to handle something that simple!
Jack: And I did! I just forgot until yesterday, and then no one had time to come... Jerks.
Dave: Golden. I won this title fair and square this time, and I've been busting my ass for it, and I haven't been able to enjoy it over bullshit like slacking against Josh Eagles, a crappy "party," and on top of that, being put in a match with Buddy Love? He's a clown! He thinks we're alike? In bizzaro world maybe. The last thing I need is this dude thinking he should have a shot at this belt too. I don't think anyone would view him as a respectable champ, and I'll be damned if I'm associated with that, and especially thought of like that. I won't be cheated out of this title twice, especially after overcoming the first time!
And really, what was with those lame-ass pickup lines? Knowing him, I would take it as jokes...but also, knowing him, he's probably dead serious. He doesn't know any better, I guess. His only secret is those beads I bet, you see those girls who do anything for them during Mardi Gras or the Jerry Springer Show, which got completely shitty after they started breaking up the fights, by the way. And it's not like he's the only one who can get girls anyway, hell, earlier today I hacked some pogeys in pokemon diamond to trade to my friend's girlfriend. I bet she wants ME now, after getting that shiny Cresellia. Heh, yeah. Pimpin, or in this case, PokePimpin.
Jack: Wait, but you are alike! He's funny...you're funny. You're good in the ring, and so is he. He's friendly...and I guess you used to be. OH! And he likes to film his sexual escapades, and you had that thing with the roadtrip on the first New England show and...
Dave: Shut it up! I don't want to hear it. My career has been plagued by disrespect for being the funny new guy and nothing more. I mean, the only media attention I get is, what? Some dude named David K. who's obsessed with writing OWW articles about me? The only wrestler who seems to take me seriously is the other joke of POW. I need to get past that. And Guy....what exactly were you so busy with that you couldn't call those contacts yourself? I'm curious.
Guy: Uh...me? Uh, nothing, nothing at all. I just, well, I had to plan this! It's uh...it's not easy to get balloons and stuff...right? Plus I had to straighten out some of the people Jack called, he scared some half to death, and made the other half hate me. Something about how he talked nonstop about kittens, someone named Mr. Kitters, hurracanranas, and furry futanari hentai, god knows what that is, that he found on your laptop. They thought he was some kind of perverted stalker killer. And let me tell you, the people I know aren't small-time, so they take stalking very seriously. What would be do without someone like J.lo, and those beautiful...voluptuous, sexy million-dollar-insured buns.... Wait, I mean, someone with her vast talent in mediums such as acting and singing.
Dave: ...Right.
Jack: Hey wait! I remember now what he told me about why he couldn't. He had an appointment at some club where the "chip n' males" were performing. I think I've heard of them before, great band if I recall right. They were in his black book that I had to go through to call people to come tonight, so I guess they're friends too...If he has so many rich friends...why am I not more rich?
Guy is flabberbasted, with Jack inadvertently ousting him as possibly neglecting the feeble minded dude, and at the sudden shock and realization that Jack used the wrong address book to call Guy's contacts...
Guy: Wait...Jack! I told you to use the BROWN one! Please tell me you did not call the chip....my god... Listen, Dave, I uh...I just know them through a mutual friend....and uh....I MANAGE them, yeah. I book shows for them and stuff...
Dave: What? Who are they even. Jack said they're a band? I guess they're trying to knock of the chippendales then...which i only know about from switching through channels and landing on E! Entertainment once...! (Dave does a literal >_> face)
A few seconds later, there's a deafening knock at the door, as if someone was trying to break it down. Dave rushes to the door and opens it, and 4 firemen rush in like bats out of hell.
Fireman 1: There's a fire! We've evacuated everyone, and traced the source of it to this room!
Jack: Hehehehe. Fire!
Guy: Oh god no...
Fireman 2: We'll need to extinguish it right away to save this hotel!
Dave's eyes are popping out of his skull, and his heart is pumping as if he just got punched in the chest. Unsure how he couldn't tell there was a fire in his hotel room, he doesn't have time to respond before the firemen continue they're screaming and manhandling of Dave.
Fireman 3: That's right! I can even smell it!
Fireman 4: The fire, the flames...of passion!
Dave does the Rock Eyebrow so extremely, that it seems one falls off at his chin, and one flies off from his forehead. The first fireman pushes Dave to the bed, and proceeds to rip off is jacket...and there's no shirt underneath.
Dave: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT?
Guy: Oh...oh sh...Guys...Chip, I didn't book you for this party...heheh...heh, what are you doing here?
"Chip": What? Oh hey, it's the dude who's there at the club every weekend, wait, was he the one who liked getting cockslapped-
Guy: (frantically cutting him off) Woah! Ho ho ho ho! That language is inappropriate around someone with the emotional age of Jack's mind! This is uh, completely unhealthy and irresponsible for Jack. I'm going to need you guys to leave.
"Chip": But dude, we were specifically called to this room.
Guy: Hahah, no time for that now, heh, jack, young mind, virgin eyes, etcetera etcetera, let's go guys, out.
Guy's face is beet red as he pushes the four men out of the hotel room, and slams it shut. Dave, Jack and Guy just sit there...not knowing what to think, deathly quiet.
Jack: So that was...interesting.
Dave and Guy: Shut up, Jack.