Post by thewobert on Jun 19, 2007 0:56:49 GMT -6
The scene opens in front of “Got Laughs”, a comedy club in downtown Pittsburg. The camcorder feed scans over the full parking lot to a parked Winnebago in the back. The camper door swings open and Big Norm, the foot-long midget, hops out. He is dressed up similar to that of a Pee-Wee Herman Doll. He has white lines down from his lips to his chin. He marches angrily toward the back of the club.
He opens up the backstage door and marches through the backstage area. He comes up to Buddy Love. Buddy lays sprawled out on a couch, drinking a wine cooler, and flipping through his note cards. He is wearing a tie-dyed suit with matching bowtie. Buddy prepares for his routine that will happen in moments. He looks up at Big Norm and starts to laugh.
“Damn it Buddy! I’m not doing this!” Big Norm barks and gives a kick to Buddy’s shin.
“Hey now, don’t do that. Just chill out dude…..” Buddy replies.
“You are not the one looking like a ghetto Pee-Wee Herman doll!” Norm shouts.
“Dude, you’re looking good. It’s going to be fun.” Buddy declares.
“Fun my ass. I’m not going to sit on your lap like some kid visiting Santa Claus!”
“Come on dude, its part of my act.” Buddy implies.
“Why are we even here Buddy?” Big Norm asks.
“We are here to do some comedy.” Buddy states with a smile.
“Why comedy?” Big Norm ponders.
“Well, my next opponent thinks of himself as a comedian.”
“You mean David Hilt?”
“That’s right dude.”
“Isn’t he the champ?”
“That’s right. He’s the Mid-Atlantic Champion.”
“A wannabe comedian as champion?”
“That’s right dude. He’s the funny man with the belt. It’s my first taste at wrestling gold and I want to be at my best.”
“But it’s a non-title match.”
“That it is, but a match with a champion is a test to see if you have enough to go for the gold. It’s like Rocky dude.”
“If it’s such a big match, shouldn’t you be in the gym preparing?”
“Dude, I’m trying to get into his head and feel how he feels.”
“Oh great, more of your “I’m trying to get in his head” crap.”
“It’s not crap dude….. It’s a pre-match ritual for me. Hilt has been watching wrestling since he could walk and he’s been wrestling since he was sixteen and in his backyard. You may seem like he’s trying to be a bad ass or a funny man. But when he’s in the ring, he’s dead serious. It’s going to be a hell of a fight.”
“You’re on Mr. Love.” A rather large bouncer butts in.
“Let’s go Big Norm, its time for some ventriloquism.” Buddy orders.
“I’m not doing it.” Big Norm answers.
“Come on Big Norm…… I’ll buy you a sandwich.” Buddy laughs as he picks up Big Norm.
“Put me down damn it!” Big Norm shouts as he squirms in Buddy’s arms.
“Dude, you are supposed to be acting like a doll.” Buddy says as he walks onto the stage with Big Norm. “Hello ladies and gentlemen, especially the ladies, welcome to another edition of Buddy’s Gone Wild!”
The club audience cheers and starts a “Buddy! Buddy! Buddy!” chant.
“Thank you, thank you. We are live, right here, in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania!” Buddy shouts and the crowd pops.
“Don’t forget about me!” Big Norm barks from Buddy’s lap.
“And of course, with my doll tonight, Big Norm! The foot-long Midget!” Buddy states.
“Yeah sucka!” Big Norm barks.
“We are to supply some laughs and get ready for my match with David Hilt at the Metropol this Sunday. It’s going to be a hell of a show.” The crowd cheers in response.
“David Hilt is the comic Mid-Atlantic champion. He is always trying to get laughs out of everybody, much like myself.” Buddy starts.
“But you are funnier Buddy!” Big Norm barks.
“Well because I had a rough childhood, much like the famous Rodney Dangerfield.” Buddy comments.
“What do you mean Buddy?” Norm asks.
“Well, I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ... I'd have had nothing to play with.” Buddy jokes, followed by a rim-shot and laughs from the audience.
“That’s funny Buddy…..” Norm smirks.
“I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.” Buddy says and followed by another rim-shot and laughs from the audience.
“Oh really now?” Big Norm asks.
“With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. One year they wanted to make me poster boy…..for birth control. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.” Buddy jokes again.
“That’s crazy Buddy.” Big Norm comments.
“That it is dude….. now, knock knock?” Buddy asks.
“Who’s there?” Big Norm replies.
“Buddy…..” Buddy starts.
“Buddy who?” Big Norm ponders.
“Buddy Love of course!” Buddy shouts with a smile.
Big Norm stares at Buddy for a moment, shakes his head, and mumbles:
“Boob.”
He opens up the backstage door and marches through the backstage area. He comes up to Buddy Love. Buddy lays sprawled out on a couch, drinking a wine cooler, and flipping through his note cards. He is wearing a tie-dyed suit with matching bowtie. Buddy prepares for his routine that will happen in moments. He looks up at Big Norm and starts to laugh.
“Damn it Buddy! I’m not doing this!” Big Norm barks and gives a kick to Buddy’s shin.
“Hey now, don’t do that. Just chill out dude…..” Buddy replies.
“You are not the one looking like a ghetto Pee-Wee Herman doll!” Norm shouts.
“Dude, you’re looking good. It’s going to be fun.” Buddy declares.
“Fun my ass. I’m not going to sit on your lap like some kid visiting Santa Claus!”
“Come on dude, its part of my act.” Buddy implies.
“Why are we even here Buddy?” Big Norm asks.
“We are here to do some comedy.” Buddy states with a smile.
“Why comedy?” Big Norm ponders.
“Well, my next opponent thinks of himself as a comedian.”
“You mean David Hilt?”
“That’s right dude.”
“Isn’t he the champ?”
“That’s right. He’s the Mid-Atlantic Champion.”
“A wannabe comedian as champion?”
“That’s right dude. He’s the funny man with the belt. It’s my first taste at wrestling gold and I want to be at my best.”
“But it’s a non-title match.”
“That it is, but a match with a champion is a test to see if you have enough to go for the gold. It’s like Rocky dude.”
“If it’s such a big match, shouldn’t you be in the gym preparing?”
“Dude, I’m trying to get into his head and feel how he feels.”
“Oh great, more of your “I’m trying to get in his head” crap.”
“It’s not crap dude….. It’s a pre-match ritual for me. Hilt has been watching wrestling since he could walk and he’s been wrestling since he was sixteen and in his backyard. You may seem like he’s trying to be a bad ass or a funny man. But when he’s in the ring, he’s dead serious. It’s going to be a hell of a fight.”
“You’re on Mr. Love.” A rather large bouncer butts in.
“Let’s go Big Norm, its time for some ventriloquism.” Buddy orders.
“I’m not doing it.” Big Norm answers.
“Come on Big Norm…… I’ll buy you a sandwich.” Buddy laughs as he picks up Big Norm.
“Put me down damn it!” Big Norm shouts as he squirms in Buddy’s arms.
“Dude, you are supposed to be acting like a doll.” Buddy says as he walks onto the stage with Big Norm. “Hello ladies and gentlemen, especially the ladies, welcome to another edition of Buddy’s Gone Wild!”
The club audience cheers and starts a “Buddy! Buddy! Buddy!” chant.
“Thank you, thank you. We are live, right here, in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania!” Buddy shouts and the crowd pops.
“Don’t forget about me!” Big Norm barks from Buddy’s lap.
“And of course, with my doll tonight, Big Norm! The foot-long Midget!” Buddy states.
“Yeah sucka!” Big Norm barks.
“We are to supply some laughs and get ready for my match with David Hilt at the Metropol this Sunday. It’s going to be a hell of a show.” The crowd cheers in response.
“David Hilt is the comic Mid-Atlantic champion. He is always trying to get laughs out of everybody, much like myself.” Buddy starts.
“But you are funnier Buddy!” Big Norm barks.
“Well because I had a rough childhood, much like the famous Rodney Dangerfield.” Buddy comments.
“What do you mean Buddy?” Norm asks.
“Well, I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ... I'd have had nothing to play with.” Buddy jokes, followed by a rim-shot and laughs from the audience.
“That’s funny Buddy…..” Norm smirks.
“I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.” Buddy says and followed by another rim-shot and laughs from the audience.
“Oh really now?” Big Norm asks.
“With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. One year they wanted to make me poster boy…..for birth control. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.” Buddy jokes again.
“That’s crazy Buddy.” Big Norm comments.
“That it is dude….. now, knock knock?” Buddy asks.
“Who’s there?” Big Norm replies.
“Buddy…..” Buddy starts.
“Buddy who?” Big Norm ponders.
“Buddy Love of course!” Buddy shouts with a smile.
Big Norm stares at Buddy for a moment, shakes his head, and mumbles:
“Boob.”