Post by thewobert on May 22, 2007 23:53:23 GMT -6
The scene opens with a low quality feed from Buddy’s Camcorder. The image focuses to show a hanging sign of a pub. Suddenly bagpipe music fills the scene. A pair of hairy legs enters the screen in mid-ankle white socks and tan sandals. The camera follows up the hairy legs to a red and green checkered kilt. With a tie-dyed shirt and dangling beads around his neck, Buddy Love dances away to the bagpipes. He doesn’t really dance as he calls it, he boogies. He does moves like “the robot”, “the sprinkler”, and “the lawnmower”.
“This is Buddy Love for another edition of ‘Buddy’s Gone Wild’!” Buddy spins around and gives the “Buddy Jesus” to the camera.
“Where the hell are we tonight Buddy?” Big Norm barks from behind the camera.
“We are here tonight at Mickey’s Pub, right here in Fairfield, Maine!” Buddy shouts and waits for a cheer that never comes.
“Why the hell are we in Maine?” Big Norm asks.
“We are here because The Road to Over in Dover runs through Maine. Next Monday, my newly found partner Toro and I are taking on Mick Cormac in a one vs tag match.”
“The Irish Brawler from Cork, Ireland correct?”
“Correctomondo Big Norm. He is the former terrorist and mob hitman. I already know how hard he hits. That cut he gave me back on April 15th just finally healed up.”
“I see…….. but why the hell are we out here at this pub?”
“Well, I’m trying to get myself into Cormac’s head. So I’m going to go into that pub to get some of the atmosphere.”
“But why the hell are you in a kilt? Isn’t that a Scottish thing?”
“I’m not sure, but I differently could use a drink. Bust out the bagpipes!”
Big Norm sets the camera down and it shows him rewinding a tape in a stereo. The bagpipe music starts up and Buddy marches into the pub. Inside, Buddy pushes through two doors into the bar. The bar becomes quiet as the patrons glare over at the dancing Buddy. Buddy struts over to the bar with his hands rolling back and forth with the bagpipe music echoing through the bar. Buddy hops onto a bar stool and does a “hula dance” with his hands. Suddenly the music cut off as the tape squealed in the tape-player.
“Boy, what the bloody hell are you doing?” The bartender barks.
“Gives a drink barkeep.” Buddy replies.
“Barkeep?”
“Yes good sir. Let me have one of the finest wine coolers from Ireland.”
“We don’t serve wine coolers.”
“You don’t have any wine coolers? Gosh darn!”
“Laddy, if you are going to curse, go for the gold.”
“Lets see, I got the kilt, I got the atmosphere……… If I was Mr. Cormac, what would I drink?” Buddy talks to himself.
“Did you say Cormac, as in Mick Cormac?” The bartender asks.
“The one and only.”
“That fellow was in here a few nights ago. Hell of a man.”
“He was? Give me whatever he had.”
After a few moments, the bartender returns with a massive stein full with a dark liquid. Buddy down’s the drink and asks for another. The bartender tells Buddy Cormac had twenty of them. Buddy wants to get into Cormac’s mind set, so he downs stein after stein. At the twentieth one, Buddy is at the point of peeing himself. He spins around on the stool and continues to dance in his drunken state.
“Whatph did you give give give me barkeep?”
“A whole lot of Guinness boy.”
“Mppphnmmmmm aggghm naga.” Buddy mumbles.
“What was that Buddy?” Big Norm butts in.
“You with him shorty?”
“Who you calling shorty sucka?”
“I mean no offense………”
“Damn right…… Buddy how much have you had to drink?”
“aaslkdjfds lkjfoowue ordofns adofnds ofn……..” Buddy mumbles grabs at the twenty-first drink.
“I don’t think you want that Buddy…….” Big Norm suggests as Buddy downs the glass.
“Well, he beat Cormac.”
“I guess-” Big Norm is cut off as Buddy falls off the stool, showing that he has nothing on under the kilt. (Blocked by the tie-dye censor box).
“Boy, you are supposed to wear shorts under those.” The bartender looks away in disgust.
“Oh my god-” Big Norm is cut off again as Buddy vomits on the floor.
“Jesus……… now I have cleaning up to do!” The bartender shouts.
“Big Norm……” Buddy says in between gags. “Sign us off.”
Big Norm stares into the camera for a moment.
“Jugs!”
The scene goes black with the bagpipe music starting up again.
“This is Buddy Love for another edition of ‘Buddy’s Gone Wild’!” Buddy spins around and gives the “Buddy Jesus” to the camera.
“Where the hell are we tonight Buddy?” Big Norm barks from behind the camera.
“We are here tonight at Mickey’s Pub, right here in Fairfield, Maine!” Buddy shouts and waits for a cheer that never comes.
“Why the hell are we in Maine?” Big Norm asks.
“We are here because The Road to Over in Dover runs through Maine. Next Monday, my newly found partner Toro and I are taking on Mick Cormac in a one vs tag match.”
“The Irish Brawler from Cork, Ireland correct?”
“Correctomondo Big Norm. He is the former terrorist and mob hitman. I already know how hard he hits. That cut he gave me back on April 15th just finally healed up.”
“I see…….. but why the hell are we out here at this pub?”
“Well, I’m trying to get myself into Cormac’s head. So I’m going to go into that pub to get some of the atmosphere.”
“But why the hell are you in a kilt? Isn’t that a Scottish thing?”
“I’m not sure, but I differently could use a drink. Bust out the bagpipes!”
Big Norm sets the camera down and it shows him rewinding a tape in a stereo. The bagpipe music starts up and Buddy marches into the pub. Inside, Buddy pushes through two doors into the bar. The bar becomes quiet as the patrons glare over at the dancing Buddy. Buddy struts over to the bar with his hands rolling back and forth with the bagpipe music echoing through the bar. Buddy hops onto a bar stool and does a “hula dance” with his hands. Suddenly the music cut off as the tape squealed in the tape-player.
“Boy, what the bloody hell are you doing?” The bartender barks.
“Gives a drink barkeep.” Buddy replies.
“Barkeep?”
“Yes good sir. Let me have one of the finest wine coolers from Ireland.”
“We don’t serve wine coolers.”
“You don’t have any wine coolers? Gosh darn!”
“Laddy, if you are going to curse, go for the gold.”
“Lets see, I got the kilt, I got the atmosphere……… If I was Mr. Cormac, what would I drink?” Buddy talks to himself.
“Did you say Cormac, as in Mick Cormac?” The bartender asks.
“The one and only.”
“That fellow was in here a few nights ago. Hell of a man.”
“He was? Give me whatever he had.”
After a few moments, the bartender returns with a massive stein full with a dark liquid. Buddy down’s the drink and asks for another. The bartender tells Buddy Cormac had twenty of them. Buddy wants to get into Cormac’s mind set, so he downs stein after stein. At the twentieth one, Buddy is at the point of peeing himself. He spins around on the stool and continues to dance in his drunken state.
“Whatph did you give give give me barkeep?”
“A whole lot of Guinness boy.”
“Mppphnmmmmm aggghm naga.” Buddy mumbles.
“What was that Buddy?” Big Norm butts in.
“You with him shorty?”
“Who you calling shorty sucka?”
“I mean no offense………”
“Damn right…… Buddy how much have you had to drink?”
“aaslkdjfds lkjfoowue ordofns adofnds ofn……..” Buddy mumbles grabs at the twenty-first drink.
“I don’t think you want that Buddy…….” Big Norm suggests as Buddy downs the glass.
“Well, he beat Cormac.”
“I guess-” Big Norm is cut off as Buddy falls off the stool, showing that he has nothing on under the kilt. (Blocked by the tie-dye censor box).
“Boy, you are supposed to wear shorts under those.” The bartender looks away in disgust.
“Oh my god-” Big Norm is cut off again as Buddy vomits on the floor.
“Jesus……… now I have cleaning up to do!” The bartender shouts.
“Big Norm……” Buddy says in between gags. “Sign us off.”
Big Norm stares into the camera for a moment.
“Jugs!”
The scene goes black with the bagpipe music starting up again.