Post by kaleb on May 15, 2007 11:04:19 GMT -6
On a rather beautiful Tuesday morning, Television Champion Kaleb Shadix of the local wrestling promotion Power On Wrestling rests on a park bench in Kansas City, Missouri. Sitting there clad in black Nike shorts and a white t-shirt bearing a red POW logo, the rookie phenomenon gazes at his surroundings: the beautiful blue sky, the radiating sun, tranquil pedestrians, a playground for children, and even a few inhabitants strolling about with their canine friends. This isn’t particularly the most appropriate place for such a cynical individual like Kaleb to situated, but nevertheless he’s here.
Kaleb Shadix; “Nice day, huh?”
His rhetorical query came out of the blue. An odd smirk accompanied the question -- not one of arrogance, but instead of common delight. In an odd viewing, Kaleb seemed to be in a good mood.
Kaleb Shadix; “Then again, everyday is a nice day when you’re Kaleb Shadix!”
Of course, blatant hauteur never seemed to elude the Ohio native.
Kaleb Shadix; “Maybe the weather hasn’t exactly been the greatest the past two or so months, and perhaps thunderstorms and natural disasters are looming in the near future, but as long as things continue going exactly how they’ve gone for me thus far in POW then I will enjoy every day like no other.”
A relaxing sigh escaped from the longest reigning Television Champion.
Kaleb Shadix; “Last week, yet another ‘W’ was tacked unto my column in the history books, and I further proved my status as one of the fastest rising and most-impressive stars not only POW but the wrestling world as a whole has ever seen. Alongside Rich Morrison, I garnered my first tag-team victory over the likes of proclaimed ‘legend’ Kailus Holmes and lackey Brian Lee. In true winner fashion, I battled my way to victory as I implanted Brian Lee’s head directly into the mat and then pinned his shoulders to the mat for the three count. As usual, I did exactly what I said I would do, and not to mention Rich Morrison did as well. Speaking of Rich, I loved that number you did on Kailus -- you sure shut that stupid f**ker up. Only thing left for you to do is dispose of his trashy ass at SuperMania III.”
Kaleb lifted his arms and rested his hands behind his head. He stretched out his legs and placed one foot over the other.
Kaleb Shadix; “SuperMania III, while showcasing the supposed epic encounter between bitter rivals Rich Morrison and Kailus Holmes, also features multiple unifying title matches consisting of POW and UWC stars against one another, not to mention the UWL and UWC unifying match between Flying Douche Bag Man and Tito Capaci. Yours truly will be going up against UWC Television Champion and proclaimed legend Jay T. Nitro. Finally, I get a high-caliber opponent at such an extravagant and high-caliber event. If I still have a few things to prove to those remaining doubters out there who still overlook me, then I’ll finally prove my worth once SuperMania III is done and over with. After I prevail victorious over Jay T. Nitro, who the f**k would even have the audacity to oppose the crystal-clear facts that Kaleb Shadix is indeed one of the top stars this industry has ever seen?”
From the right pocket of his shorts, he withdrawals a lighter and a full carton of cigarettes. Extracting a single cigarette from the carton, he places it between his lips and then ignites the lighters flame. Placing the flame a the tip of the cigarette, it sets ablaze. He returns the lighter and carton to his pocket, and then releases inhaled smoke from his mouth.
Kaleb Shadix; “Now, I’m sure many are thinking I’m definitely getting ahead of myself seeing as I first have to get through this weeks Road to SuperMania III event before I actually earn the chance to compete and defend my title at the illustrious event itself. Yeah, I realize I’m being forced to defend my title against the undeserving and unimpressive Nick Pickles, but does anybody REALLY think I actually care? I mean, come on, it’s Nick f**king Pickles we’re talking about. I already beat the guy back at Spring Breakage, and somehow he now gets a shot at my title this week. Whatever. I realize the title needs to be defended against somebody, so if it’s Pickles I have to get through then so be it. Apparently, that douche Cobra was supposed to be in this match as well, but he obviously realized what exactly he was getting himself into and supposedly requested a withdrawal from this match. Well, that’s what he wants everyone to believe, anyways. Shit, I’m not buying this utter bullshit. Who in their right f**king mind would turn down a title opportunity? Tito probably pulled Cobra’s ass out of this match because he realized just how f**king undeserving he truly was. I mean, he is on a losing streak after all. Hell, even Pickles is on a bit of a streak. Sure, it’s a few wins against a bunch of nobodies, but it’s better than whatever Cobra’s been able to do so far… which is nothing except piss me off.”
During his dialogue, he inhaled and exhaled quite a few times by now and the cigarette was already burned to half of its previous length.
Kaleb Shadix; “So, Pickles, due to Cobra’s losing ways it’s just down to me and you. This is round two, so to speak. Hopefully, Cobra can contain his hard-on for me and not deem it necessary to interfere in one of my matches again. Cobra, if somehow Nick gains the advantage at any point in the match, don’t fret. I promise I will come right back and beat his ass -- there will be no need to come down and help me win even though I appreciate it. If anything, just take care of that fat bitch Bubba for me so that he doesn’t interfere on Nick’s behalf. I understand that you have a huge man-crush on me, Cobra, and you can’t handle seeing me get beaten. Luckily enough, I never lose so you don’t have much to worry about. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ass-kicking that Nick Pickles will inevitably be receiving this Thursday.”
As he finished, a mid-twenties brunette walked over with her arms folded after seeing Kaleb smoking. While she approached him, Kaleb only eyed her chest area and was basically under the impression that the rest of her body was invisible.
Brunette; “Hey, think you can hook me up with a smoke, buddy? I‘m all out, and I would appreciate it.”
She flashed a feint smile at Kaleb who now looked up at her face and responded.
Kaleb Shadix; “Sure, but first you have to give me a blowjob!”
He took the cigarette away from his mouth and then placed his tongue to the side of his mouth and pushed his cheek out a bit in a sexual innuendo matching his request. His vulgar response shocked the girl, but surprisingly she didn’t look appalled or disgusted. Instead, she actually smirked a little, finding humor in his outrageous demand.
Brunette; “I… uh…”
Kaleb simply smiled and then withdrew the cigarette carton from his pocket and handed the young lady a cigarette. She placed it between her lips, and then moved it towards Kaleb’s hand as he flicked his lighter and lit the cigarette for her.
Brunette; “Thanks, I really appreciate it.”
After her showing of gratitude, Kaleb nodded towards her in a “no problem” sort of way. Kaleb now finished his cigarette and tossed it to the ground. He then stomped it out while the brunette suddenly sat down on the bench next to him rather than walk away.
Brunette; “So… what’s your name? I’m Lacey.”
Kaleb Shadix; “Kaleb.”
The young girl extended her hand, and Kaleb obliged by shaking it. Surely, if this were a male Kaleb would’ve flicked him off and told him to piss off by now, but since it was a relatively attractive female he took a different approach. There was a silence for a moment, but suddenly Lacey broke it.
Lacey; “You’re cute.”
A flirtatious chuckle escaped her, and Kaleb simply smirked proudly and didn’t know how to respond. She continued.
Lacey; “Do you model or anything? You look like a freaking Calvin Klein model!”
Kaleb looked shocked at her assumption. He laughed it off, and took it as a compliment rather than the insult he usually would take it as due to his belief as such guys being complete fruitcakes and pansies.
Kaleb Shadix; “I’m a professional wrestler.”
Lacey was flabbergasted, impressed, and excited all at once.
Lacey; “Really!? Oh my God, wow! You must have an incredible body.”
Kaleb merely shrugged his shoulders. He knew he was in shape, but continually bragging about it like a lot of men do would only seem homosexual to him. Lacey suddenly placed a hand over his stomach and felt the abdominal muscles of his under his white POW t-shirt. She glanced into his eyes flirtatiously and bit her bottom lip.
Lacey; “I may have to take you up on that offer after all.”
The TV Champ looked confused for a moment.
Kaleb Shadix; “And what offer is that?”
Lacey; “You know…”
She placed her tongue to the side of her mouth and pushed out her cheek a bit, doing the same sexual innuendo that Kaleb previously did to her. With a large smirk, Kaleb suddenly rose from the bench and grabbed her hand. He nudged his head in a direction to go, and so she rose as well and started following Kaleb’s lead. She tossed her almost fully-smoked cigarette to the ground and stomped it out before continuing behind the man who will defend his belt against Nick Pickles in less than forty-eight hours. While viewing the two walking away into the distance to an area unspecified, the scene slowly began fading away to darkness.
Kaleb Shadix; “Nice day, huh?”
His rhetorical query came out of the blue. An odd smirk accompanied the question -- not one of arrogance, but instead of common delight. In an odd viewing, Kaleb seemed to be in a good mood.
Kaleb Shadix; “Then again, everyday is a nice day when you’re Kaleb Shadix!”
Of course, blatant hauteur never seemed to elude the Ohio native.
Kaleb Shadix; “Maybe the weather hasn’t exactly been the greatest the past two or so months, and perhaps thunderstorms and natural disasters are looming in the near future, but as long as things continue going exactly how they’ve gone for me thus far in POW then I will enjoy every day like no other.”
A relaxing sigh escaped from the longest reigning Television Champion.
Kaleb Shadix; “Last week, yet another ‘W’ was tacked unto my column in the history books, and I further proved my status as one of the fastest rising and most-impressive stars not only POW but the wrestling world as a whole has ever seen. Alongside Rich Morrison, I garnered my first tag-team victory over the likes of proclaimed ‘legend’ Kailus Holmes and lackey Brian Lee. In true winner fashion, I battled my way to victory as I implanted Brian Lee’s head directly into the mat and then pinned his shoulders to the mat for the three count. As usual, I did exactly what I said I would do, and not to mention Rich Morrison did as well. Speaking of Rich, I loved that number you did on Kailus -- you sure shut that stupid f**ker up. Only thing left for you to do is dispose of his trashy ass at SuperMania III.”
Kaleb lifted his arms and rested his hands behind his head. He stretched out his legs and placed one foot over the other.
Kaleb Shadix; “SuperMania III, while showcasing the supposed epic encounter between bitter rivals Rich Morrison and Kailus Holmes, also features multiple unifying title matches consisting of POW and UWC stars against one another, not to mention the UWL and UWC unifying match between Flying Douche Bag Man and Tito Capaci. Yours truly will be going up against UWC Television Champion and proclaimed legend Jay T. Nitro. Finally, I get a high-caliber opponent at such an extravagant and high-caliber event. If I still have a few things to prove to those remaining doubters out there who still overlook me, then I’ll finally prove my worth once SuperMania III is done and over with. After I prevail victorious over Jay T. Nitro, who the f**k would even have the audacity to oppose the crystal-clear facts that Kaleb Shadix is indeed one of the top stars this industry has ever seen?”
From the right pocket of his shorts, he withdrawals a lighter and a full carton of cigarettes. Extracting a single cigarette from the carton, he places it between his lips and then ignites the lighters flame. Placing the flame a the tip of the cigarette, it sets ablaze. He returns the lighter and carton to his pocket, and then releases inhaled smoke from his mouth.
Kaleb Shadix; “Now, I’m sure many are thinking I’m definitely getting ahead of myself seeing as I first have to get through this weeks Road to SuperMania III event before I actually earn the chance to compete and defend my title at the illustrious event itself. Yeah, I realize I’m being forced to defend my title against the undeserving and unimpressive Nick Pickles, but does anybody REALLY think I actually care? I mean, come on, it’s Nick f**king Pickles we’re talking about. I already beat the guy back at Spring Breakage, and somehow he now gets a shot at my title this week. Whatever. I realize the title needs to be defended against somebody, so if it’s Pickles I have to get through then so be it. Apparently, that douche Cobra was supposed to be in this match as well, but he obviously realized what exactly he was getting himself into and supposedly requested a withdrawal from this match. Well, that’s what he wants everyone to believe, anyways. Shit, I’m not buying this utter bullshit. Who in their right f**king mind would turn down a title opportunity? Tito probably pulled Cobra’s ass out of this match because he realized just how f**king undeserving he truly was. I mean, he is on a losing streak after all. Hell, even Pickles is on a bit of a streak. Sure, it’s a few wins against a bunch of nobodies, but it’s better than whatever Cobra’s been able to do so far… which is nothing except piss me off.”
During his dialogue, he inhaled and exhaled quite a few times by now and the cigarette was already burned to half of its previous length.
Kaleb Shadix; “So, Pickles, due to Cobra’s losing ways it’s just down to me and you. This is round two, so to speak. Hopefully, Cobra can contain his hard-on for me and not deem it necessary to interfere in one of my matches again. Cobra, if somehow Nick gains the advantage at any point in the match, don’t fret. I promise I will come right back and beat his ass -- there will be no need to come down and help me win even though I appreciate it. If anything, just take care of that fat bitch Bubba for me so that he doesn’t interfere on Nick’s behalf. I understand that you have a huge man-crush on me, Cobra, and you can’t handle seeing me get beaten. Luckily enough, I never lose so you don’t have much to worry about. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ass-kicking that Nick Pickles will inevitably be receiving this Thursday.”
As he finished, a mid-twenties brunette walked over with her arms folded after seeing Kaleb smoking. While she approached him, Kaleb only eyed her chest area and was basically under the impression that the rest of her body was invisible.
Brunette; “Hey, think you can hook me up with a smoke, buddy? I‘m all out, and I would appreciate it.”
She flashed a feint smile at Kaleb who now looked up at her face and responded.
Kaleb Shadix; “Sure, but first you have to give me a blowjob!”
He took the cigarette away from his mouth and then placed his tongue to the side of his mouth and pushed his cheek out a bit in a sexual innuendo matching his request. His vulgar response shocked the girl, but surprisingly she didn’t look appalled or disgusted. Instead, she actually smirked a little, finding humor in his outrageous demand.
Brunette; “I… uh…”
Kaleb simply smiled and then withdrew the cigarette carton from his pocket and handed the young lady a cigarette. She placed it between her lips, and then moved it towards Kaleb’s hand as he flicked his lighter and lit the cigarette for her.
Brunette; “Thanks, I really appreciate it.”
After her showing of gratitude, Kaleb nodded towards her in a “no problem” sort of way. Kaleb now finished his cigarette and tossed it to the ground. He then stomped it out while the brunette suddenly sat down on the bench next to him rather than walk away.
Brunette; “So… what’s your name? I’m Lacey.”
Kaleb Shadix; “Kaleb.”
The young girl extended her hand, and Kaleb obliged by shaking it. Surely, if this were a male Kaleb would’ve flicked him off and told him to piss off by now, but since it was a relatively attractive female he took a different approach. There was a silence for a moment, but suddenly Lacey broke it.
Lacey; “You’re cute.”
A flirtatious chuckle escaped her, and Kaleb simply smirked proudly and didn’t know how to respond. She continued.
Lacey; “Do you model or anything? You look like a freaking Calvin Klein model!”
Kaleb looked shocked at her assumption. He laughed it off, and took it as a compliment rather than the insult he usually would take it as due to his belief as such guys being complete fruitcakes and pansies.
Kaleb Shadix; “I’m a professional wrestler.”
Lacey was flabbergasted, impressed, and excited all at once.
Lacey; “Really!? Oh my God, wow! You must have an incredible body.”
Kaleb merely shrugged his shoulders. He knew he was in shape, but continually bragging about it like a lot of men do would only seem homosexual to him. Lacey suddenly placed a hand over his stomach and felt the abdominal muscles of his under his white POW t-shirt. She glanced into his eyes flirtatiously and bit her bottom lip.
Lacey; “I may have to take you up on that offer after all.”
The TV Champ looked confused for a moment.
Kaleb Shadix; “And what offer is that?”
Lacey; “You know…”
She placed her tongue to the side of her mouth and pushed out her cheek a bit, doing the same sexual innuendo that Kaleb previously did to her. With a large smirk, Kaleb suddenly rose from the bench and grabbed her hand. He nudged his head in a direction to go, and so she rose as well and started following Kaleb’s lead. She tossed her almost fully-smoked cigarette to the ground and stomped it out before continuing behind the man who will defend his belt against Nick Pickles in less than forty-eight hours. While viewing the two walking away into the distance to an area unspecified, the scene slowly began fading away to darkness.