Post by kaleb on Apr 3, 2007 9:14:35 GMT -6
(KALEB SHADIX)
You. Are. f**king. Retarded.
Those were Kaleb's exact sentiments after having listened to Shadow's -- his opponent for the week -- recently released promo. Kaleb cracked a smirk, unable to believe just how idiotic -- in his mind, anyways -- an individual could really be.
(KALEB SHADIX)
Shadow takes the cake for dumbest person I've seen thus far in POW. I'm sure there will be many more morons I'll be scheduled to go up against, but for now Shadow earns my very own, exclusive "retard of the week" award. Cherish it, f**ker, because it's the only damn thing you'll be winning here in POW!
With a black remote in his hands, Kaleb sits in front of a television screen while laying cozily on a couch, feet propped up comfortably on a coffee table and all.
(KALEB SHADIX)
I'd try and supply a rebuttal to all of this illogical nonsense you just had to let out, but you said so many retarded things that I lost count and am unable to remember every little thing from memory. So, let's just allow the tape to speak for itself, shall we? After every retarded claim he makes, I'll fill everyone in -- especially Shadow and his lackeys -- of what's REALLY going to go down.
The television is frozen in time, paused at the beginning of Shadow's recent vignette. Aiming the remote in his hands at the VCR below the television set that holds the tape of Shadow's promo inside, Kaleb presses the play button, and the promo begins unraveling on the television set.
(KALEB SHADIX)
You're God damn right it was. I beat his ass.
Pressing the fast forward button on the remote, Shadow's promo skips ahead until Kaleb presses play.
Kaleb pauses the screen while chuckling a bit.
(KALEB SHADIX)
Hmm, I didn't realize we're back in second grade. "Wussiest", huh? Am I a "wussy" to you, Shadow? Well, whatever it is that I am, I'm pretty damn sure it's better than what you are: a loser. If I'm such a "wussy", yet I'm able to beat you, then what does that say about you?
Shadix cocks his brow, allowing the thought to sink in.
(KALEB SHADIX)
Don't even get me started on this whole respect thing. I couldn't give two shits less whether or not you respect me. I'm not trying to gain your respect, boy. If I wanted you to respect me I'd challenge you to a game of basketball or something, and show "sportsmanship". Incase you haven't noticed, this is wrestling. Our last f**king concerns should be gaining each others respect. Come Thursday, I'm not going to be trying to get respect from your ass, I'm going to be kicking it. Whether you decide to follow suite is up to you.
He shrugs, not really caring what Shadow decides to do. Kaleb's confident he can beat Shadow whether "The Dark One" wants to play tidily-winks or actually show up and wrestle.
(KALEB SHADIX)
I did win the match Shadow, and yes I did beat you as well no matter how much you differ. My name was in the win column, and yours showed up in the loser column, so that amounts to me beating you. But, don't worry, if last week wasn't enough for you, then you have this week to look forward to another ass kicking as well. By the way, who the f**k is Cyrus?
Kaleb shrugs it off, and then resumes the playing of the promo on the television screen.
(KALEB SHADIX)
Kiss my ass. Get some glasses mother f**ker, because your vision is f**ked if that's what you see.
(KALEB SHADIX)
Yeah, I was REAL terrified Shadow.
He rolls his eyes while pausing the screen.
(KALEB SHADIX)
If I was so terrified of you as you think, then I wouldn't have even bothered going out to that ring and going toe to toe with you. I would've just sat in the back cowering in a corner while the almighty Shadow reigned supreme if I was that scared of you. Like I said before, I'm more afraid of Freddy Krueger than I am you Shadow, and he isn't even real.
Kaleb cracks a pearly white smile.
(KALEB SHADIX)
You can dispute my method of winning as much as you’d like, but deep down inside you know you would've done the same exact thing had you been intelligent enough to think of it. Of course, you'd never be able to think up such a beautiful masterpiece of a plan and execute it so perfectly like I did though, so the only thing you're left with to do is bitch at those smarter than you out of pure jealousy.
He now un-pauses the tape, and then fast forwards a bit until finally pressing play again.
(KALEB SHADIX)
When you finally decide to let go of Shadow's nuts come and see me. I'll destroy you just like I'll do to Shadow… again.
Kaleb presses the pause button on the remote again, ready to rip into Shadow once more.
(KALEB SHADIX)
First I'm a "wussy" and now a little girl, huh? Come at me with something new dude, your elementary material isn't going to cut it. It's good to see that you're trying to be a comedian, though. Well, maybe you weren't, but I sure as hell thought it was damn funny when you said that you're doing what you're paid to do while I'm not. Golden, Shadow! Get a hold of Comedy Central and see if you can get your very own show.
Kaleb fake-laughs hysterically, slapping his hand on his leg and all.
(KALEB SHADIX)
So, I take it you're getting paid to lose every match you're a part of, right? I mean, that's the only f**king thing you've accomplished to do here in POW, so in that case you're doing your job excellently! And I suppose I'm getting paid to do something other than win, huh? Ha, whatever you say, Shadow. Go ahead and say whatever makes you feel like a bigger man, and a better wrestler.
He presses play, but quickly re-pauses the promo after hearing one of Saya's one-liners.
(KALEB SHADIX)
Blow me, darling.
Kaleb presses play again.
Shadix places his hand over his mouth, yawning.
(KALEB SHADIX)
Blah, blah, blah. Same shit as last week.
(KALEB SHADIX)
If that's really what you want then fine, whatever. You better go take that up with Tito, though. If he agrees then so be it, I don't care either way. You know, all of this talk about me fearing you is quite ironic because you're obviously the one that dreads me. If you're such a great wrestler and can destroy me like you believe I can, then you should be able to beat me no matter the stipulations and circumstances. But lo and behold, here you are trying to change the match in your favor. Is that fear I smell? It's okay though, because I definitely have many more ways of beating you. Last week was just a little taste, a sample of the splendid methods I have for winning a match.
The tape continues on. The excitement grows on Kaleb's face as he realizes it's almost over.
Shadow's promo is paused after he speaks his piece.
(KALEB SHADIX)
Your potential comedy career just keeps on getting bigger with all of the humorous things you just so happen to say. If I don't deserve it, then stop me from getting it. Beat me, and you'll get the f**king shot, but beating me is definitely easier said than done isn't it? By the way, since when in the hell did you "prove time and time again" that you "can get it done in the ring"? The only f**king thing you've managed to do around here is lose, Shadow. Your best bet is to join fellow UWC reject Eddie Buchalini in heading over to POW's New England territory, because obviously you can't f**king cut it here. Oh, and what's with the random mention of the tag titles? That's not what we're vying for. Maybe you have short term memory loss and couldn't remember what belt we were fighting for the opportunity to gain, which can explain why you continually say I fear you and that you can beat me because you must've forgot about what happened last week.
Kaleb presses stop, and then turns both the VCR and television off. He stares directly into the camera's lens with his piercing baby blue eyes and speaks once more.
(KALEB SHADIX)
I'm done watching that shit. I'm done making fun of you. It's just too easy, just like how beating you in the ring is… and exactly how your bitch Saya is. Come Thursday, all of this trash talk the two of us have been doing is going to be put to the test. At The Road to Spring Breakage we get the chance to back up our claims, to live up to our own hype. So far, I've backed up everything that I've said with my win last week, and my upcoming win that'll inevitably happen this Thursday. You, on the other hand, have been running your mouth for the past two to three weeks and every time when it comes down to it the exact opposite of what you say happens in that ring. General consensus proclaims that the same thing happens this week. Tough luck.
Shadix gives off a final arrogant smirk. Afterwards, the camera is turned off and the scene fades out.
You. Are. f**king. Retarded.
Those were Kaleb's exact sentiments after having listened to Shadow's -- his opponent for the week -- recently released promo. Kaleb cracked a smirk, unable to believe just how idiotic -- in his mind, anyways -- an individual could really be.
(KALEB SHADIX)
Shadow takes the cake for dumbest person I've seen thus far in POW. I'm sure there will be many more morons I'll be scheduled to go up against, but for now Shadow earns my very own, exclusive "retard of the week" award. Cherish it, f**ker, because it's the only damn thing you'll be winning here in POW!
With a black remote in his hands, Kaleb sits in front of a television screen while laying cozily on a couch, feet propped up comfortably on a coffee table and all.
(KALEB SHADIX)
I'd try and supply a rebuttal to all of this illogical nonsense you just had to let out, but you said so many retarded things that I lost count and am unable to remember every little thing from memory. So, let's just allow the tape to speak for itself, shall we? After every retarded claim he makes, I'll fill everyone in -- especially Shadow and his lackeys -- of what's REALLY going to go down.
The television is frozen in time, paused at the beginning of Shadow's recent vignette. Aiming the remote in his hands at the VCR below the television set that holds the tape of Shadow's promo inside, Kaleb presses the play button, and the promo begins unraveling on the television set.
Bartender: "Tough loss man."
(KALEB SHADIX)
You're God damn right it was. I beat his ass.
Pressing the fast forward button on the remote, Shadow's promo skips ahead until Kaleb presses play.
Shadow: "If it were only that simple my friend if I would had lost legitimately I would have no problem but since he won by the most wussiest method, by count out any respect I had for him is gone, although I admit he won the match but he did not beat me. Your Boss Cyrus, has beat me and for that he has my respect, but also I have beaten him and I hope he has respect for me."
Kaleb pauses the screen while chuckling a bit.
(KALEB SHADIX)
Hmm, I didn't realize we're back in second grade. "Wussiest", huh? Am I a "wussy" to you, Shadow? Well, whatever it is that I am, I'm pretty damn sure it's better than what you are: a loser. If I'm such a "wussy", yet I'm able to beat you, then what does that say about you?
Shadix cocks his brow, allowing the thought to sink in.
(KALEB SHADIX)
Don't even get me started on this whole respect thing. I couldn't give two shits less whether or not you respect me. I'm not trying to gain your respect, boy. If I wanted you to respect me I'd challenge you to a game of basketball or something, and show "sportsmanship". Incase you haven't noticed, this is wrestling. Our last f**king concerns should be gaining each others respect. Come Thursday, I'm not going to be trying to get respect from your ass, I'm going to be kicking it. Whether you decide to follow suite is up to you.
He shrugs, not really caring what Shadow decides to do. Kaleb's confident he can beat Shadow whether "The Dark One" wants to play tidily-winks or actually show up and wrestle.
(KALEB SHADIX)
I did win the match Shadow, and yes I did beat you as well no matter how much you differ. My name was in the win column, and yours showed up in the loser column, so that amounts to me beating you. But, don't worry, if last week wasn't enough for you, then you have this week to look forward to another ass kicking as well. By the way, who the f**k is Cyrus?
Kaleb shrugs it off, and then resumes the playing of the promo on the television screen.
Bartender: "I sort of see your point he was scared."
(KALEB SHADIX)
Kiss my ass. Get some glasses mother f**ker, because your vision is f**ked if that's what you see.
Shadow: "I don't think scared qualifies the situation, he was terrified because after he saw what I did to the other four men he knew in his heart of hearts, in the place where no one talks about it he knew he did not have what it took to beat me so what did he do, did he take his punishment like a man, no like a coward he maced both me and the ref and made sure I could not re-enter the ring so he would win by count out. He won by controversy, yeah right that was not controversial in any sense, it was just a yellowbelly taking the easy way out because he knew he was in over his head."
(KALEB SHADIX)
Yeah, I was REAL terrified Shadow.
He rolls his eyes while pausing the screen.
(KALEB SHADIX)
If I was so terrified of you as you think, then I wouldn't have even bothered going out to that ring and going toe to toe with you. I would've just sat in the back cowering in a corner while the almighty Shadow reigned supreme if I was that scared of you. Like I said before, I'm more afraid of Freddy Krueger than I am you Shadow, and he isn't even real.
Kaleb cracks a pearly white smile.
(KALEB SHADIX)
You can dispute my method of winning as much as you’d like, but deep down inside you know you would've done the same exact thing had you been intelligent enough to think of it. Of course, you'd never be able to think up such a beautiful masterpiece of a plan and execute it so perfectly like I did though, so the only thing you're left with to do is bitch at those smarter than you out of pure jealousy.
He now un-pauses the tape, and then fast forwards a bit until finally pressing play again.
Hellfire: "Had I been there I'd teach that punk what happens to those who take the cowardly way out because they do not have the skills to defeat you."
(KALEB SHADIX)
When you finally decide to let go of Shadow's nuts come and see me. I'll destroy you just like I'll do to Shadow… again.
Shadow: "As true as that is Hellfire, you weren't but I agree with you, in my opinion he behaved like a woman, only a woman would be a coward in a match where he talk about taking action, where he did not all he did was walk to the ring and mace me and the ref and do very little. I at least did what I am being paid to do not like Shadix being a lass ass bum."
Kaleb presses the pause button on the remote again, ready to rip into Shadow once more.
(KALEB SHADIX)
First I'm a "wussy" and now a little girl, huh? Come at me with something new dude, your elementary material isn't going to cut it. It's good to see that you're trying to be a comedian, though. Well, maybe you weren't, but I sure as hell thought it was damn funny when you said that you're doing what you're paid to do while I'm not. Golden, Shadow! Get a hold of Comedy Central and see if you can get your very own show.
Kaleb fake-laughs hysterically, slapping his hand on his leg and all.
(KALEB SHADIX)
So, I take it you're getting paid to lose every match you're a part of, right? I mean, that's the only f**king thing you've accomplished to do here in POW, so in that case you're doing your job excellently! And I suppose I'm getting paid to do something other than win, huh? Ha, whatever you say, Shadow. Go ahead and say whatever makes you feel like a bigger man, and a better wrestler.
He presses play, but quickly re-pauses the promo after hearing one of Saya's one-liners.
Saya: "He is not a real man like you, love, he is a woman who has no place in a man's ring."
(KALEB SHADIX)
Blow me, darling.
Kaleb presses play again.
Shadow: "ha ha ha, you're right Saya, any real man would have faced me, man to Dark One but he was terrified, afraid, because he knew it would take just one move and it would all be over, it takes one impaler and it's over and the fact is he knew that and because he could not face the fact that he does not belong in the same league as me he took the easy way out because he is as deliciate and fragile as a little girl because he does not have the guts to face me head on."
Shadix places his hand over his mouth, yawning.
(KALEB SHADIX)
Blah, blah, blah. Same shit as last week.
Shadow: "A Two Part Plan, Part 1, Challenge Shadix to a no count-out match, part two request Tito to change the match to a no count out match."
(KALEB SHADIX)
If that's really what you want then fine, whatever. You better go take that up with Tito, though. If he agrees then so be it, I don't care either way. You know, all of this talk about me fearing you is quite ironic because you're obviously the one that dreads me. If you're such a great wrestler and can destroy me like you believe I can, then you should be able to beat me no matter the stipulations and circumstances. But lo and behold, here you are trying to change the match in your favor. Is that fear I smell? It's okay though, because I definitely have many more ways of beating you. Last week was just a little taste, a sample of the splendid methods I have for winning a match.
The tape continues on. The excitement grows on Kaleb's face as he realizes it's almost over.
Shadow: "Yes, it is. And once Thursday passes I will be number one contender and once again in my career gain Television Gold. You see Shadix does not deserve this title shot, I do because I have proven time and time again I can get it done in the ring and based on what Shadix showed me last week, he doesn't so he will never gain tag team gold and when all is said and done he will realize that he never was in my league and he never will be and then he will realize only fools like him don't fear the darkness. And then he will find out what happens when people anger me."
Shadow's promo is paused after he speaks his piece.
(KALEB SHADIX)
Your potential comedy career just keeps on getting bigger with all of the humorous things you just so happen to say. If I don't deserve it, then stop me from getting it. Beat me, and you'll get the f**king shot, but beating me is definitely easier said than done isn't it? By the way, since when in the hell did you "prove time and time again" that you "can get it done in the ring"? The only f**king thing you've managed to do around here is lose, Shadow. Your best bet is to join fellow UWC reject Eddie Buchalini in heading over to POW's New England territory, because obviously you can't f**king cut it here. Oh, and what's with the random mention of the tag titles? That's not what we're vying for. Maybe you have short term memory loss and couldn't remember what belt we were fighting for the opportunity to gain, which can explain why you continually say I fear you and that you can beat me because you must've forgot about what happened last week.
Kaleb presses stop, and then turns both the VCR and television off. He stares directly into the camera's lens with his piercing baby blue eyes and speaks once more.
(KALEB SHADIX)
I'm done watching that shit. I'm done making fun of you. It's just too easy, just like how beating you in the ring is… and exactly how your bitch Saya is. Come Thursday, all of this trash talk the two of us have been doing is going to be put to the test. At The Road to Spring Breakage we get the chance to back up our claims, to live up to our own hype. So far, I've backed up everything that I've said with my win last week, and my upcoming win that'll inevitably happen this Thursday. You, on the other hand, have been running your mouth for the past two to three weeks and every time when it comes down to it the exact opposite of what you say happens in that ring. General consensus proclaims that the same thing happens this week. Tough luck.
Shadix gives off a final arrogant smirk. Afterwards, the camera is turned off and the scene fades out.