Post by kaleb on May 1, 2007 9:48:03 GMT -6
First of all, let me just start off by sending a huge “f**k you” in Lestat’s general direction. Thanks for losing the match for us, prick. Luckily, it was only a tag team match and nobody really even gives two shits about then anyways, right? I know I f**king don’t. I would’ve been a little more understanding concerning the match had Lestat actually been a legitimate wrestler instead of some God damned bodyguard, or trainer, or whatever the f**k category he falls under. Either way you look at it, the guy sucks absolute balls. Has he even won a match? Hell if I know.
If I wanted to compete in whack ass tag matches then I’d go out and find myself a partner to team with. Hell, if random people are going to be thrown together and forced to tag with one another, at least give me a genuine wrestler! I mean, I know I’m so f**king awesome and all that I’m capable of carrying the workload for two or more men, but shit… nobody’s perfect. I’m pretty f**king close, but even I couldn’t carry the ten-ton burden Lestat forced on my back. To be brutally honest, I’d much rather go into a handicap match than have Lestat as my partner. Nevertheless, we -- NO! Lestat f**king lost, not me. Anyways, Lestat lost, and that’s that.
Now that I finally get to move on to my own personal matters rather than be trapped and intertwined in the love triangle between Showtime and Lestat over Fire, I find myself up against one of the guys I was against last week: Flying Douche Bag Man. The guy really didn’t do jack shit last week, although he acts as if he carried his team to victory. As pitiful as it sounds, Showtime was the one that led their team last week… and that’s just pathetic! After losing like fifteen matches in a row, Showtime is finally starting to catch fire. Actually, his past wins aren’t tricking anybody: the only f**king person he’s managed to pin here in POW is Lestat, the guy who isn’t even a legitimate wrestler!
So, anyways, as we stray away from the nobodies, me and Douche Bag Man find each other up against one another this week on the second Road to SuperMania III. We, unlike the two clowns we were tagged with last week, are actually accomplished stars. Sure, me more so than Douche Bag seeing as I actually have a certified Power On Wrestling Championship in my possession and he instead trucks around some piece of tin transferred from some lower-tier organization nobody gives a shit about, but that’s besides the point. I will give him a bit of credit, however: unlike the likes of Shadow, Dan Real, Corbin Ford, Nick Pickles, and the other retards I’ve faced thus far, Douche Bag Man is actually in his prime and can generate revenue.
Finally, I find myself up against one of the top-tier talents. Hey, that’s not by my standards, though. FDCM being a top-tier talent merely resides in the fathomable consideration of others. I couldn’t give a shit about Douche Bag Man and what he’s done in the past, but the same can’t be said for others. Apparently, everybody enjoys clinging on the dudes f**king jockstrap and worshipping him like some sort of wrestling deity. Well, all of the acknowledgement and praise for this overrated piece of shit is only going to make my singles victory over him that much sweeter. I realize I’m the mammoth underdog in this bout, but that’s the way it is for every f**king match I participate in. Week in and week out I’m underestimated and overlooked, and yet I still come out victorious. Whatever. I’ll just keep doing what I do best and maybe all of you f**king retards will finally begin to realize true greatness at its finest.
FDCM, you can appear on screen and ramble on and on and on about that XYZ Intergalactic Spaceship Mega Warrior Championship you truck around with you all that you want, but I’m not f**king Tito Capaci. Just like King Cobra, you’re looking at the wrong guy. Cobra’s ass kissing didn’t work for me, and it should’ve been intended for Capaci. Your bragging doesn’t really have an affect on me either, but apparently it works wonders on Tito. Well, I’m not that tubby little Italian bastard. I don’t give a flying f**k about what you’ve done in the past, what you decide to call yourself, and whatever else potentially factors in.
Do you REALLY think anybody even cares about the UWL anymore? Sure, maybe it was a hot commodity a year or so ago, but it’s time to f**king move on. Stop clinging on to its notoriety to try and get ahead. The fed itself and its owner have lost so much respect and prominence throughout the past couple of months it’s ridiculous. Maybe mentioning being the UWL Champion a couple of months ago would’ve meant something, but now it means jack. Besides, isn’t Josh Eagles the UWL Champ now? Shows how much respect the fed and owner had for you, huh? Completely tarnishing your title and disposing of your legacy so easily? You’re carrying around a hollow title: on the outside it may look luxurious and highly sought after, but it lacks everything else on the inside that really matters such as prominence, eminence, and prosperity. You can discredit my title and me as a champion all you want, but around here I’m certainly more creditable of meriting the label of champion as you are.
Don’t let the lower-rank of “Television Champion” that others believe and abide by fool you, because I’m more than worthy of hanging with the best of them. Perhaps other don’t think so, but I’m pretty damn sure I can take on the likes of Rich Morrison, Reck Maverick, George Duke, and even Shawn f**king Stevens -- the POW Heavyweight Champ himself -- on. And, since you’re such a viable “World Champ”, I’ll prove this Thursday that I have enough of what it takes to go head to head, and easily prevail over the likes of World Champ-ranking stars. The fans, the internet rumors, and history doesn’t decide who wins matches around here, unfortunately for you. Everything that be set against me winning, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to go down like that. And as long as I have anything to do with it? Everything will be going MY way, not yours. f**k the media.
If I wanted to compete in whack ass tag matches then I’d go out and find myself a partner to team with. Hell, if random people are going to be thrown together and forced to tag with one another, at least give me a genuine wrestler! I mean, I know I’m so f**king awesome and all that I’m capable of carrying the workload for two or more men, but shit… nobody’s perfect. I’m pretty f**king close, but even I couldn’t carry the ten-ton burden Lestat forced on my back. To be brutally honest, I’d much rather go into a handicap match than have Lestat as my partner. Nevertheless, we -- NO! Lestat f**king lost, not me. Anyways, Lestat lost, and that’s that.
Now that I finally get to move on to my own personal matters rather than be trapped and intertwined in the love triangle between Showtime and Lestat over Fire, I find myself up against one of the guys I was against last week: Flying Douche Bag Man. The guy really didn’t do jack shit last week, although he acts as if he carried his team to victory. As pitiful as it sounds, Showtime was the one that led their team last week… and that’s just pathetic! After losing like fifteen matches in a row, Showtime is finally starting to catch fire. Actually, his past wins aren’t tricking anybody: the only f**king person he’s managed to pin here in POW is Lestat, the guy who isn’t even a legitimate wrestler!
So, anyways, as we stray away from the nobodies, me and Douche Bag Man find each other up against one another this week on the second Road to SuperMania III. We, unlike the two clowns we were tagged with last week, are actually accomplished stars. Sure, me more so than Douche Bag seeing as I actually have a certified Power On Wrestling Championship in my possession and he instead trucks around some piece of tin transferred from some lower-tier organization nobody gives a shit about, but that’s besides the point. I will give him a bit of credit, however: unlike the likes of Shadow, Dan Real, Corbin Ford, Nick Pickles, and the other retards I’ve faced thus far, Douche Bag Man is actually in his prime and can generate revenue.
Finally, I find myself up against one of the top-tier talents. Hey, that’s not by my standards, though. FDCM being a top-tier talent merely resides in the fathomable consideration of others. I couldn’t give a shit about Douche Bag Man and what he’s done in the past, but the same can’t be said for others. Apparently, everybody enjoys clinging on the dudes f**king jockstrap and worshipping him like some sort of wrestling deity. Well, all of the acknowledgement and praise for this overrated piece of shit is only going to make my singles victory over him that much sweeter. I realize I’m the mammoth underdog in this bout, but that’s the way it is for every f**king match I participate in. Week in and week out I’m underestimated and overlooked, and yet I still come out victorious. Whatever. I’ll just keep doing what I do best and maybe all of you f**king retards will finally begin to realize true greatness at its finest.
FDCM, you can appear on screen and ramble on and on and on about that XYZ Intergalactic Spaceship Mega Warrior Championship you truck around with you all that you want, but I’m not f**king Tito Capaci. Just like King Cobra, you’re looking at the wrong guy. Cobra’s ass kissing didn’t work for me, and it should’ve been intended for Capaci. Your bragging doesn’t really have an affect on me either, but apparently it works wonders on Tito. Well, I’m not that tubby little Italian bastard. I don’t give a flying f**k about what you’ve done in the past, what you decide to call yourself, and whatever else potentially factors in.
Do you REALLY think anybody even cares about the UWL anymore? Sure, maybe it was a hot commodity a year or so ago, but it’s time to f**king move on. Stop clinging on to its notoriety to try and get ahead. The fed itself and its owner have lost so much respect and prominence throughout the past couple of months it’s ridiculous. Maybe mentioning being the UWL Champion a couple of months ago would’ve meant something, but now it means jack. Besides, isn’t Josh Eagles the UWL Champ now? Shows how much respect the fed and owner had for you, huh? Completely tarnishing your title and disposing of your legacy so easily? You’re carrying around a hollow title: on the outside it may look luxurious and highly sought after, but it lacks everything else on the inside that really matters such as prominence, eminence, and prosperity. You can discredit my title and me as a champion all you want, but around here I’m certainly more creditable of meriting the label of champion as you are.
Don’t let the lower-rank of “Television Champion” that others believe and abide by fool you, because I’m more than worthy of hanging with the best of them. Perhaps other don’t think so, but I’m pretty damn sure I can take on the likes of Rich Morrison, Reck Maverick, George Duke, and even Shawn f**king Stevens -- the POW Heavyweight Champ himself -- on. And, since you’re such a viable “World Champ”, I’ll prove this Thursday that I have enough of what it takes to go head to head, and easily prevail over the likes of World Champ-ranking stars. The fans, the internet rumors, and history doesn’t decide who wins matches around here, unfortunately for you. Everything that be set against me winning, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to go down like that. And as long as I have anything to do with it? Everything will be going MY way, not yours. f**k the media.