Post by kaleb on Apr 24, 2007 19:21:12 GMT -6
Hey, look at what the f**k happened last week at Spring Breakage! I did EXACTLY what I sought out to do, and that was prevail over that rich fat-shit Nick Pickles. Sure, the manner in which the match ultimately ended was disputable, but overall the outcome certainly isn’t debatable. I said I would win, and I did -- I’m not the only one seeing a pattern develop here, am I? Each and every week I set shit straight and tell everything exactly how it is and how it’s going to be, and when it comes time to perform inside that squared circle everything goes according to plan.
I beat Nick’s ass just like I said I would, and I got a good shot on that fat f**ker Bubba as well. I was clearly superior over Nick and his lackey, and it was just a matter of time until I decided to finally stop messing around and end the match forcefully. I was basically delaying the inevitable -- you know, putting on a good show for the fans and all. Don’t get it twisted, I couldn’t care less about that sacks of shit sitting in the audience. Tito does, however. He feels a great satisfaction in knowing the POW fans enjoyed themselves and the POW product as a whole, and when his employees put on a good show for the fans to enjoy he shows gratitude by upping the ante a bit.
So, anyways, as I was drawing the match out longer for a better pay cut, some dip-shot who likes to call himself King Cobra decided to come down and get involved for some unbeknownst reason. I’m pretty sure Nick is all agitated with Cobra’s actions, and I’ve heard that he’s been throwing fits and claiming that he could’ve and would’ve won had it not been for Cobra’s intervention. Uh, no Nick. Not a f**king chance. I was destroying you from pillar to post right from the get-go. For Tito’s amusement, I decided I’d better sprawl the match out for a longer time frame than what I was originally intending it to take to beat your ass; oh, let’s say… about two minutes? Tito would obviously lose some money after having you as an investment completely tank on him by not providing formidable competition, so from one guy who enjoys his money to the other, I felt Tito’s pain. I decided to do him a favor.
It looks like Cobra decided to do me one as well, or so he thought. He didn’t ‘help’ help me win, he didn’t ‘make’ me win. Does anyone really believe that the outcome would’ve been much different if Cobra didn’t intervene? I had Nick beat even after his minion attempted to help him out. Cobra decided to lay my body over Nick’s lifeless one. So the f**k what? He wasn’t the one who had to beat Nick ass and keep him down for the count. He wasn’t the one who fended off Bubba so that the fat idiot wouldn’t break up a pin attempt, either. All that shit was my doing. Cobra was just terrified that his favorite wrestler didn’t have the strength to get up and pin Nick. Obviously, I did, but I just rolled with the flow so that Cobra could feel a sense of accomplishment because knowing that he’s now getting involved in my business, and sort of achievement for him isn’t anywhere close.
Seeing as I told your ass off earlier that night, Cobra, I really don’t see why you wanted me to win SO bad that you actually came out and placed my body over Nick’s. If anything, I was expecting you to come out and take me out with a foreign object or something. The only reasonably solution I can come to is that I am indeed your favorite wrestler. What else explains your lust for me to win? What else can explain the blatant public display of affection you were showing me as you kissed my ass proclaiming how impressive I was? Save the whole ass kissing routine for Tito, because I don’t want or need it. He’s the mother f**ker who signs your paychecks and makes the matches, so get on your knee’s and go please him, not me.
The whole f**king nice guy folklore isn’t going to cut it around here. I hope I sent you that message loud and clear after I punched you right in the God damn jaw. You’re going to get walked all over on around here if you don’t man up. Actually, more like trampled on. You’re a little Nancy boy, Cobra. Pansy. Why was it you left your past federation again? Oh, that’s right, because you wept your f**king eyes out that people didn’t like you. Ha! By the way, I thought it was real f**king cute how you made a friend at the mall! Let me guess, did you guys go and watch a movie together afterwards? You’re a f**king pussy, dude. Want to know what I do to girl thingys? I f**k ‘em up! Double entendre there, bitch.
Anyways, enough of this little prissy boy. What’s lined up for this week? Well, first of all, I hope I don’t end up getting sucked-off by Cobra again. I’m not really up for getting that shit from dudes. Like I said, save the ass kissing for Tito. If you want a title shot then go speak with him, he runs shit here. If you keep kissing my ass the only thing you’re going to continually get is a f**king ass whooping. So, yeah, this week there’s a tag match lined up. Me and Lestat against Flying Douche Bag Man and Mister Ho-time. Speaking of ho’s, Lestat and Ho-time are currently fighting over some bitch named Fire or something. To be honest, the chick really isn’t that hot for two dudes to be fighting over her, but whatever. Guess I’m just not into the freaky goth girls like they are.
I’ll be honest here, this match f**king sucks. I’m not looking forward to it AT ALL. And why would I? It’s f**king random as hell. I’d rather beat Cobra’s pussy ass then be stuck in this pointless match. Why the f**k have I been dragged into the love triangle between Ho-time, Fire, and Lestat? That goes for Douche Bag Man, too. What the absolute hell do we have to do with these retards? We’re not obsessing over some ugly ass goth chick… and they can’t even get her for that matter. I know I have no problem getting girls, and hell even Douche Bag Man has some good looking bitches following him around.
So, anyways, as much as this match is pointless looks like I’ve got to go what I’ve got to do. If it means tagging with some dude that isn’t even a legitimate f**king wrestler in Lestat to make a quick buck then what the f**k ever. If I lose it’ll just be that goofy f**kers fault. Besides, who the f**k cares about tag matches anyways? I’d like to see Douche Bag and Ho-time actually beat me in one on one competition, but in this tag mess they might actually get lucky. Speaking of getting lucky… well, unfortunately for Ho-time and Lestat they haven’t been getting any! I’d rather sit back with Douche Bag Man, down a beer or two, and watch these sexually frustrated morons duke it out for that freak bitch Fire. Speaking of Fire, I heard that bitch ramble on earlier. Whore doesn’t even know what the f**k she’s talking about. I heard her say we should all be very, very afraid of Ho-time because he’s capable of imposing great harm on whoever gets in his way. Ha! f**k that. If Lestat already isn’t kicking his stupid ass, I’ll gladly do it and prove that he isn’t some unstoppable force of nature.
Oh, and if Douche Bag Man wants some too? Well, I’ll give him a f**king beat down only a true champion is capable handing out. Just because you’re the ZYX Champion doesn’t mean shit, dude. Not to me anyways. I’m tired of these f**king guys walking around thinking their real f**king big shots because they accomplished some amazing feat in a different federation like two years ago. You can be the Intergalactic Ultra-Mega Super Duper Heavyweight National Champion of the world and I really wouldn’t give a f**k. As long as the title bears an acronym other than POW then it doesn’t mean jack shit around here, no matter what others may have told you. What if I told you that I was the Death Match Extreme Champion of Outer Space? Yeah, you wouldn’t care at all -- exactly how I feel about you.
I beat Nick’s ass just like I said I would, and I got a good shot on that fat f**ker Bubba as well. I was clearly superior over Nick and his lackey, and it was just a matter of time until I decided to finally stop messing around and end the match forcefully. I was basically delaying the inevitable -- you know, putting on a good show for the fans and all. Don’t get it twisted, I couldn’t care less about that sacks of shit sitting in the audience. Tito does, however. He feels a great satisfaction in knowing the POW fans enjoyed themselves and the POW product as a whole, and when his employees put on a good show for the fans to enjoy he shows gratitude by upping the ante a bit.
So, anyways, as I was drawing the match out longer for a better pay cut, some dip-shot who likes to call himself King Cobra decided to come down and get involved for some unbeknownst reason. I’m pretty sure Nick is all agitated with Cobra’s actions, and I’ve heard that he’s been throwing fits and claiming that he could’ve and would’ve won had it not been for Cobra’s intervention. Uh, no Nick. Not a f**king chance. I was destroying you from pillar to post right from the get-go. For Tito’s amusement, I decided I’d better sprawl the match out for a longer time frame than what I was originally intending it to take to beat your ass; oh, let’s say… about two minutes? Tito would obviously lose some money after having you as an investment completely tank on him by not providing formidable competition, so from one guy who enjoys his money to the other, I felt Tito’s pain. I decided to do him a favor.
It looks like Cobra decided to do me one as well, or so he thought. He didn’t ‘help’ help me win, he didn’t ‘make’ me win. Does anyone really believe that the outcome would’ve been much different if Cobra didn’t intervene? I had Nick beat even after his minion attempted to help him out. Cobra decided to lay my body over Nick’s lifeless one. So the f**k what? He wasn’t the one who had to beat Nick ass and keep him down for the count. He wasn’t the one who fended off Bubba so that the fat idiot wouldn’t break up a pin attempt, either. All that shit was my doing. Cobra was just terrified that his favorite wrestler didn’t have the strength to get up and pin Nick. Obviously, I did, but I just rolled with the flow so that Cobra could feel a sense of accomplishment because knowing that he’s now getting involved in my business, and sort of achievement for him isn’t anywhere close.
Seeing as I told your ass off earlier that night, Cobra, I really don’t see why you wanted me to win SO bad that you actually came out and placed my body over Nick’s. If anything, I was expecting you to come out and take me out with a foreign object or something. The only reasonably solution I can come to is that I am indeed your favorite wrestler. What else explains your lust for me to win? What else can explain the blatant public display of affection you were showing me as you kissed my ass proclaiming how impressive I was? Save the whole ass kissing routine for Tito, because I don’t want or need it. He’s the mother f**ker who signs your paychecks and makes the matches, so get on your knee’s and go please him, not me.
The whole f**king nice guy folklore isn’t going to cut it around here. I hope I sent you that message loud and clear after I punched you right in the God damn jaw. You’re going to get walked all over on around here if you don’t man up. Actually, more like trampled on. You’re a little Nancy boy, Cobra. Pansy. Why was it you left your past federation again? Oh, that’s right, because you wept your f**king eyes out that people didn’t like you. Ha! By the way, I thought it was real f**king cute how you made a friend at the mall! Let me guess, did you guys go and watch a movie together afterwards? You’re a f**king pussy, dude. Want to know what I do to girl thingys? I f**k ‘em up! Double entendre there, bitch.
Anyways, enough of this little prissy boy. What’s lined up for this week? Well, first of all, I hope I don’t end up getting sucked-off by Cobra again. I’m not really up for getting that shit from dudes. Like I said, save the ass kissing for Tito. If you want a title shot then go speak with him, he runs shit here. If you keep kissing my ass the only thing you’re going to continually get is a f**king ass whooping. So, yeah, this week there’s a tag match lined up. Me and Lestat against Flying Douche Bag Man and Mister Ho-time. Speaking of ho’s, Lestat and Ho-time are currently fighting over some bitch named Fire or something. To be honest, the chick really isn’t that hot for two dudes to be fighting over her, but whatever. Guess I’m just not into the freaky goth girls like they are.
I’ll be honest here, this match f**king sucks. I’m not looking forward to it AT ALL. And why would I? It’s f**king random as hell. I’d rather beat Cobra’s pussy ass then be stuck in this pointless match. Why the f**k have I been dragged into the love triangle between Ho-time, Fire, and Lestat? That goes for Douche Bag Man, too. What the absolute hell do we have to do with these retards? We’re not obsessing over some ugly ass goth chick… and they can’t even get her for that matter. I know I have no problem getting girls, and hell even Douche Bag Man has some good looking bitches following him around.
So, anyways, as much as this match is pointless looks like I’ve got to go what I’ve got to do. If it means tagging with some dude that isn’t even a legitimate f**king wrestler in Lestat to make a quick buck then what the f**k ever. If I lose it’ll just be that goofy f**kers fault. Besides, who the f**k cares about tag matches anyways? I’d like to see Douche Bag and Ho-time actually beat me in one on one competition, but in this tag mess they might actually get lucky. Speaking of getting lucky… well, unfortunately for Ho-time and Lestat they haven’t been getting any! I’d rather sit back with Douche Bag Man, down a beer or two, and watch these sexually frustrated morons duke it out for that freak bitch Fire. Speaking of Fire, I heard that bitch ramble on earlier. Whore doesn’t even know what the f**k she’s talking about. I heard her say we should all be very, very afraid of Ho-time because he’s capable of imposing great harm on whoever gets in his way. Ha! f**k that. If Lestat already isn’t kicking his stupid ass, I’ll gladly do it and prove that he isn’t some unstoppable force of nature.
Oh, and if Douche Bag Man wants some too? Well, I’ll give him a f**king beat down only a true champion is capable handing out. Just because you’re the ZYX Champion doesn’t mean shit, dude. Not to me anyways. I’m tired of these f**king guys walking around thinking their real f**king big shots because they accomplished some amazing feat in a different federation like two years ago. You can be the Intergalactic Ultra-Mega Super Duper Heavyweight National Champion of the world and I really wouldn’t give a f**k. As long as the title bears an acronym other than POW then it doesn’t mean jack shit around here, no matter what others may have told you. What if I told you that I was the Death Match Extreme Champion of Outer Space? Yeah, you wouldn’t care at all -- exactly how I feel about you.