Post by lanceerickson on Feb 22, 2007 18:32:18 GMT -6
The scene opens at a TV News station and Lance Erickson is sitting backstage while makeup girls and wardrobe guys are attacking Lance with everything they've got. Lance is fending them off successfully, but he's starting to tire. Finally he hauls to the bathroom and locks himself in a stall to escape them. He sits in there for a good half hour before the head news dude knocks on the door and says "Five minutes to go". Lance peeks his head out of the stall and looks around. With no sign of the superficial people, he sneaks out of the bathroom and exits. He is pounced on by the wardrobe people who are trying to stuff him into a suit. Lance takes off to the news room where the wardrobe posse is stopped by a man saying "No time!".
Taking a deep breath, Lance follows the man to his spot on the news desk where he is fitted with a microphone. The cameraman zooms in so that Lance is out of the picture and only the anchors can be seen. A guy with a high and tight haircut comes out and starts talking to everybody present.
High-and-Tight: QUIET ON THE SET! We're on in five, four, three...
He counts down the last two numbers and points to the J. Jonah Jameson lookalike anchor, Randall Stark. The cheesy news music blasts throughout the set.
Randall Stark: (In the obligatory newscaster voice) Hi there and welcome to the action news at 6. I'm Randall Stark and these are my real teeth. To my right is my co-anchor you all Jennifer Chesty.
Jennifer Chesty: Thank you Randall. Can one of the most popular potato chips kill you? Are airbags and car crashes actually theraputic? More on those later tonight. Back to you Randall.
Randall Stark: Our top story tonight is from Power On Wrestling. Big Ci and Dave Hunter are looking to create a stable of the top names in POW. It is reported that they have asked POW rookie and amazing force, Lance Erickson. Mr. Erickson has agreed to come here tonight to state his decision to the world.
The camera zooms out slightly and Lance is brought into the screen. He is fiddling with his microphone before he Randall Stark pokes him in the ribs with a fake newscaster laugh. Lance drops his hands to the desk with a flabbergasted look. He is wearing a gaudy limegreen cutoff tank-top that says "Definition, Machismo, a TRUE MAN".
Randall Stark: (With cheesy grin) Mr. Erickson! Interesting attire tonight. Would you care to elaborate on these negotiations with Big Ci and Dave Hunter?
Lance Erickson: Just call me Lance. Yeah, my clothes. I had to hide from your wardrobe and makeup jackals earlier. I'm way more comfy in these. Plus, they show off my abs. If you had these, wouldn't you show them off too? (Randall Stark laughs while Jennifer Chesty rolls her eyes) Anyway, about Big Ci and Dave Hunter. Big Ci and I have an enormous amount of respect for each other. So when he asked me to join up there was no way I'd say no.
Randall Stark: There you have it. Straight from the horse's mouth. Now, what about those potato chips Jennifer?
The camera zooms back in on the anchors, but Lance can still be heard.
Lance Erickson: (off camera) Wait...I still have more to say. Hey...HEY!! (microphone cuts out)
Lance gets up as the two reporters start chatting and crosses in front of the active camera before ripping off the microphone and tossing it to one of the crew. He storms out of the place, but not before getting nasty looks from the wardrobe guys.
Taking a deep breath, Lance follows the man to his spot on the news desk where he is fitted with a microphone. The cameraman zooms in so that Lance is out of the picture and only the anchors can be seen. A guy with a high and tight haircut comes out and starts talking to everybody present.
High-and-Tight: QUIET ON THE SET! We're on in five, four, three...
He counts down the last two numbers and points to the J. Jonah Jameson lookalike anchor, Randall Stark. The cheesy news music blasts throughout the set.
Randall Stark: (In the obligatory newscaster voice) Hi there and welcome to the action news at 6. I'm Randall Stark and these are my real teeth. To my right is my co-anchor you all Jennifer Chesty.
Jennifer Chesty: Thank you Randall. Can one of the most popular potato chips kill you? Are airbags and car crashes actually theraputic? More on those later tonight. Back to you Randall.
Randall Stark: Our top story tonight is from Power On Wrestling. Big Ci and Dave Hunter are looking to create a stable of the top names in POW. It is reported that they have asked POW rookie and amazing force, Lance Erickson. Mr. Erickson has agreed to come here tonight to state his decision to the world.
The camera zooms out slightly and Lance is brought into the screen. He is fiddling with his microphone before he Randall Stark pokes him in the ribs with a fake newscaster laugh. Lance drops his hands to the desk with a flabbergasted look. He is wearing a gaudy limegreen cutoff tank-top that says "Definition, Machismo, a TRUE MAN".
Randall Stark: (With cheesy grin) Mr. Erickson! Interesting attire tonight. Would you care to elaborate on these negotiations with Big Ci and Dave Hunter?
Lance Erickson: Just call me Lance. Yeah, my clothes. I had to hide from your wardrobe and makeup jackals earlier. I'm way more comfy in these. Plus, they show off my abs. If you had these, wouldn't you show them off too? (Randall Stark laughs while Jennifer Chesty rolls her eyes) Anyway, about Big Ci and Dave Hunter. Big Ci and I have an enormous amount of respect for each other. So when he asked me to join up there was no way I'd say no.
Randall Stark: There you have it. Straight from the horse's mouth. Now, what about those potato chips Jennifer?
The camera zooms back in on the anchors, but Lance can still be heard.
Lance Erickson: (off camera) Wait...I still have more to say. Hey...HEY!! (microphone cuts out)
Lance gets up as the two reporters start chatting and crosses in front of the active camera before ripping off the microphone and tossing it to one of the crew. He storms out of the place, but not before getting nasty looks from the wardrobe guys.