Post by heyjackkerouac on Aug 8, 2007 14:30:09 GMT -6
The following video was broadcast on Youtube and is presented via the website of one Eddie Jones.
The scene fades in and we find Eddie sitting back on a ragged, beat-up, brown couch. His feet are sitting up on a scuffed coffee table that is in front of the couch. He is wearing his ordinary garb of an old t-shirt, this one a Red Hot Chili Peppers one, a pair of blue jeans and currently has just socks, the left one of which has a large hole on the bottom of it. In his right hand is a smoldering cigarette that he is in the process of smoking. Before Eddie can do anything, Kevin Front comes from the area where the camera is set up and jumps onto the couch[/i][/color]
Kevin: Aloha all. What is happening in the world out there? Know what, forget the question, you all can’t respond anyway. Unless you post a vid. But that’s beside the point…
Eddie: Stow it Kev. They don’t need to hear your spiel. Just get to the intro.
Kevin: Huh? Uh, sure, fine, whatever. Anyway, welcome all the fans around the world. Welcome to Lion’s Road Puro…
Eddie: Kevin, I told you, don’t read directly off your script that you made like five months ago. We’re not in Lion’s Road anymore. We’re not in Canada anymore either. Hell, you aren’t even in wrestling anymore. Get it right, fool.
Kevin: Yeah, sorry.
Anyway, welcome all you Power On Wrestling fans to another webcast from Eddie Jones himself. The debut webcast, to be precise. This webcast is unofficially powered by Google, for owning Youtube and such. Smart Mark Video, for introducing me to the world that is indy wrestling. And finally, Pepsi…
Kevin pulls up the sleeve on his right arm to reveal the very CM Punk-esque Pepsi logo tattoo that he has on his upper, right arm. He gets off the couch and gets close to the camera so the tattoo is very prominent.[/color]
Kevin: …For being the greatest damn drink in the world and for fueling many a late night PC gaming binge.
Kevin sits back down on the couch in his previous spot and rolls his sleeve back down to his elbow.[/color]
Eddie: Done?
Kevin: Take it away, Ed Ved.
Eddie: Sure. Whatever
Anyway, this week in Power On Wrestling I have been placed in a tag matchup. I think my partner, Big Ci, hit the nail right on the head when he summed it up as something like this, “We’re not friends, we’re tag team partners.” And the big lug may be British, but he does have one thing right, we’re aren’t friends. We aren’t going to go out drinking after the show on Friday, nor are we going to head out to the bowling alley this Thursday to work on our “pre-match strategy”. We’re going to get into the ring, and we are going to beat both Buddy Love and Cory Barnett, and we’re going to go our separate ways. Simple as that.
I do know the reasoning behind putting me and Ci together though. It’s for us to defend the honor of POW Midwest. We’re going to prove that the Midwest is more dominant than Northeast, or New England, or Old England, or whatever that other place is called. Me and Ci will be fighting for the side of POW that we both love so much and fight for so hard. We will both be working our asses off to put together our best effort to show our pride in the side of POW that everyone knows is the best, the Midwest.
Kevin: Hey, you’re a poet and you didn’t know it!
Eddie: Shut up Kevin!
Me and Ci will only be in that ring as much as we have to be. And then, we’re out and off the clock, and we can get back to doing our own thing.
As for my opponents, I have seen both of them before during my short stint in that other place. And neither of them was very impressive, to tell you all the truth. Buddy Love has a ridiculous following with the fans, for some odd reason. Everyone is behind him and everyone loves f**kin’ Buddy Love. And none of it makes any sense to me. Everytime I have seen him, Buddy’s just been some kind of lollygagging punk that doesn’t do shit worthy of him being a champ. He drinks his damn wine coolers and plays with his stupid beads, but nothing else. I guess he’s just another Ultimate Warrior. Everyone loves him even though he does jack shit.
And Barnett. Ah, Barnett. The young soldier once again steps into the ring with me. What a shock. Seems that Barnett, who should be waiting behind the counter taking my order, thinks that he should be playing with the big boys. Let me tell you something Barnett, you should be sitting at home contemplating the algebra homework that you’ll be getting in a few weeks and not getting into a situation where some severe harm could come your way. I’m not saying I’ll be hurting you, but there are no guarantees. And someone that age should be sitting at home in front of a computer and not stepping between the ropes and into the ring, especially with someone like me already in that ring.
Kevin: Hell yeah man! Tell that bitch!
Eddie looks over at Kevin silently and stares at him. After a few moments he shakes his head to the side and Kevin leans back just a little.[/color]
Kevin: Ummm, yeah, I think that brings us to the close of this one, folks. Remember to check out the Road to Legendaria this Friday, starring Eddie Jones, of course. And remember folks, always wash down your burger, or anything else for that matter, with a refreshing Pepsi, available everywhere. In the world. Don’t believe me? Well, Ripley does. So suck on it.
With that the camera flips off and the screen is dark for a few moments, before the infamous “Share” and “Replay” buttons appear and the webcast is officially over.[/color]
I'm not kidding, that was the end.
The scene fades in and we find Eddie sitting back on a ragged, beat-up, brown couch. His feet are sitting up on a scuffed coffee table that is in front of the couch. He is wearing his ordinary garb of an old t-shirt, this one a Red Hot Chili Peppers one, a pair of blue jeans and currently has just socks, the left one of which has a large hole on the bottom of it. In his right hand is a smoldering cigarette that he is in the process of smoking. Before Eddie can do anything, Kevin Front comes from the area where the camera is set up and jumps onto the couch[/i][/color]
Kevin: Aloha all. What is happening in the world out there? Know what, forget the question, you all can’t respond anyway. Unless you post a vid. But that’s beside the point…
Eddie: Stow it Kev. They don’t need to hear your spiel. Just get to the intro.
Kevin: Huh? Uh, sure, fine, whatever. Anyway, welcome all the fans around the world. Welcome to Lion’s Road Puro…
Eddie: Kevin, I told you, don’t read directly off your script that you made like five months ago. We’re not in Lion’s Road anymore. We’re not in Canada anymore either. Hell, you aren’t even in wrestling anymore. Get it right, fool.
Kevin: Yeah, sorry.
Anyway, welcome all you Power On Wrestling fans to another webcast from Eddie Jones himself. The debut webcast, to be precise. This webcast is unofficially powered by Google, for owning Youtube and such. Smart Mark Video, for introducing me to the world that is indy wrestling. And finally, Pepsi…
Kevin pulls up the sleeve on his right arm to reveal the very CM Punk-esque Pepsi logo tattoo that he has on his upper, right arm. He gets off the couch and gets close to the camera so the tattoo is very prominent.[/color]
Kevin: …For being the greatest damn drink in the world and for fueling many a late night PC gaming binge.
Kevin sits back down on the couch in his previous spot and rolls his sleeve back down to his elbow.[/color]
Eddie: Done?
Kevin: Take it away, Ed Ved.
Eddie: Sure. Whatever
Anyway, this week in Power On Wrestling I have been placed in a tag matchup. I think my partner, Big Ci, hit the nail right on the head when he summed it up as something like this, “We’re not friends, we’re tag team partners.” And the big lug may be British, but he does have one thing right, we’re aren’t friends. We aren’t going to go out drinking after the show on Friday, nor are we going to head out to the bowling alley this Thursday to work on our “pre-match strategy”. We’re going to get into the ring, and we are going to beat both Buddy Love and Cory Barnett, and we’re going to go our separate ways. Simple as that.
I do know the reasoning behind putting me and Ci together though. It’s for us to defend the honor of POW Midwest. We’re going to prove that the Midwest is more dominant than Northeast, or New England, or Old England, or whatever that other place is called. Me and Ci will be fighting for the side of POW that we both love so much and fight for so hard. We will both be working our asses off to put together our best effort to show our pride in the side of POW that everyone knows is the best, the Midwest.
Kevin: Hey, you’re a poet and you didn’t know it!
Eddie: Shut up Kevin!
Me and Ci will only be in that ring as much as we have to be. And then, we’re out and off the clock, and we can get back to doing our own thing.
As for my opponents, I have seen both of them before during my short stint in that other place. And neither of them was very impressive, to tell you all the truth. Buddy Love has a ridiculous following with the fans, for some odd reason. Everyone is behind him and everyone loves f**kin’ Buddy Love. And none of it makes any sense to me. Everytime I have seen him, Buddy’s just been some kind of lollygagging punk that doesn’t do shit worthy of him being a champ. He drinks his damn wine coolers and plays with his stupid beads, but nothing else. I guess he’s just another Ultimate Warrior. Everyone loves him even though he does jack shit.
And Barnett. Ah, Barnett. The young soldier once again steps into the ring with me. What a shock. Seems that Barnett, who should be waiting behind the counter taking my order, thinks that he should be playing with the big boys. Let me tell you something Barnett, you should be sitting at home contemplating the algebra homework that you’ll be getting in a few weeks and not getting into a situation where some severe harm could come your way. I’m not saying I’ll be hurting you, but there are no guarantees. And someone that age should be sitting at home in front of a computer and not stepping between the ropes and into the ring, especially with someone like me already in that ring.
Kevin: Hell yeah man! Tell that bitch!
Eddie looks over at Kevin silently and stares at him. After a few moments he shakes his head to the side and Kevin leans back just a little.[/color]
Kevin: Ummm, yeah, I think that brings us to the close of this one, folks. Remember to check out the Road to Legendaria this Friday, starring Eddie Jones, of course. And remember folks, always wash down your burger, or anything else for that matter, with a refreshing Pepsi, available everywhere. In the world. Don’t believe me? Well, Ripley does. So suck on it.
With that the camera flips off and the screen is dark for a few moments, before the infamous “Share” and “Replay” buttons appear and the webcast is officially over.[/color]
I'm not kidding, that was the end.