Post by John Anthony on Aug 15, 2007 21:55:30 GMT -6
DVD Taping Role Play #4
/*\ Kung Fu /*\[/u][/color]
Julia Sven walked back on forth chattering commands to the banker on the other end of the phone line inside John Anthony’s hotel room. Trying to work out financial details on building leases and trying to redistribute earnings accounts over the phone is the exact opposite of fun. Bankers are about as difficult to work with as lawyers, and Julia was even more stubborn herself. Barking away, she paced around on the shabby carpet inside the Best Western suite. It definitely wasn’t up to par with what John was used to, but he wasn’t prepared to still be here in the Midwest and wasn’t familiar with the finer hotels in the area. Assuming finer hotels even exist in Kansas.
Suddenly John came bursting into the living room.
John:
“I’ve got it!”
Julia looked over at him and pointed to the phone that she held in her hand. Instead of apologizing, John simply continued on with his grand discovery.
John:
“Buddy Love doesn’t want to BEAT me this weekend, he wants to BE me!”
He definitely seemed to be proud of his assumed realizations, but Julia was preoccupied. She tried to plug her ear and continue the conversation, but John walked over to the nearby wall and hung the cordless phone up from the receiver. Julia panicked, thinking the call was dropped, but then turned to see a smirking John Anthony with his pointer finger on the ‘End Call’ button.
Julia:
“John, what are you doing?! Do you know who that was? We were hammering out a new financing deal on the Trenton building to cut costs!”
John:
“More importantly, listen to this. Ok, so I was looking over everything Buddy Love has done this week, right? And I realized that he isn’t preparing to face off with me at all. He’s actually trying to become me, become John Anthony! Right down to a T!”
Frustrated, Julia massaged her temples in utter disbelief at what she was hearing. Even so, what did it matter? There was now a pissed off banker somewhere in the country fuming over Julia hanging up on him, and a half eccentric John Anthony was babbling about nothing important.
Julia:
“John, how much have you slept lately?”
John:
“There’s nothing to sleep on.”
Julia:
“What? There’s a bedroom with a perfectly working bed in it.”
John:
“Haha, you called that thing a bed. It’s more like a boulder covered in ugly fabric. Anyway, that’s not important right now. What is important is Buddy Love. Let me tell you what I’ve discovered. This week what has Buddy Love done? He played poker with Al Pacino and started spitting out odds figures, he dreamt of dressing like the best and hanging out in the VIP with only the finest women, he stole my catchphrases on numerous occasions, and he made a poorly edited video about every sport he could think of in a five minute time span claiming he’s an athlete in all of them!”
Julia:
“A lot of people do those things John. You aren’t the only one.”
John:
“Oh but you’re wrong! Who else says ‘worth every penny’? Who else talks about the ‘High Life’ as a proper noun? No one! Only I, John Anthony, partake in such strange occurrences, and Buddy Love is trying to steal that right from under my feet! His plan wasn’t to just get into my head this week by studying my lifestyle, it was to learn how to be me, learn how to replace me after Friday! It all makes perfect sense now.”
Julia:
“Or maybe it was because your Eastern Heavyweight Championship is on the line and he wants any kind of edge on you that he can have?”
John:
“You are thinking too simple Julia. Look at the bigger picture. Buddy Love already has the Mid-Atlantic championship, so why would he even want the Eastern Heavyweight Champion? Huh? Think about it… BECAUSE I HAVE IT! It’s the final piece of the puzzle to being John Anthony! Being on top of the business could give him access to the money, the clothes, the VIP rooms, the women, and the title belt. With all of that, he might as well just call himself Buddy “John Anthony” Love!”
Julia:
“That’s… ridiculous.”
John:
“I thought so too at first, but then I tried these wine coolers that Buddy always speaks of. About half a dozen into them I started to piece things together. But I’m not going to let Buddy steal my identity… see? That title belt is like my birth certificate. Without that, no one will really think he’s John Anthony, because I am!”
Julia quickly realized that this was going nowhere fast and tried to get John to sit down. His breath smelt of fruity alcoholic beverages and his eyes lacked focus. Sitting down, she tried to explain to him that Buddy wasn’t trying to steal his identity and that he needed to get focused on the task at hand again. Out of nowhere John jumped into the air and crouched into a praying mantis stance.
John:
“I need to learn kung-fu!”
He started making a strange assortment of “waaaaahhh!” and “wooooooo!” sounds as he threw his hands and feet around in awkward movements.
John:
“It’s like in the Matrix. Neo was The One, but to defeat the agents he needed kung-fu. Once he learned it and used it against Morpheus, he was able to destroy anyone who stood in front of him!”
Julia:
“John, that was a movie, and that’s not even how it happened!”
John breathed in deeply and then slowly pushed his arms downward as if entering a meditative stance. He closed his eyes and stood perfectly still as Julia looked on.
Julia:
“John?”
John:
“This Friday Buddy Love, I will protect my identity. You can steal my catchphrases and my mannerisms, but you cannot steal my championship! It defines who I am. It defines me as a champion. It defines John Anthony. And if you even try to lay your hands on my title, then… well, I know kung-fu now.”
John jumped up into the air and swung his right leg around in a huge arc. It crashed into a vase beside the old tube-style television and shattered it on contact. John fell to the hard floor as Julia looked on in disbelief. She was really hoping this was just an act. Wine coolers aren’t even high in alcohol content. Bending down, she put an arm under John to help lift him up. As they stood up, Julia asked him if he was alright.
John simply looked at her and gave a “Buddy Jesus” impression.
/*\ Kung Fu /*\[/u][/color]
Julia Sven walked back on forth chattering commands to the banker on the other end of the phone line inside John Anthony’s hotel room. Trying to work out financial details on building leases and trying to redistribute earnings accounts over the phone is the exact opposite of fun. Bankers are about as difficult to work with as lawyers, and Julia was even more stubborn herself. Barking away, she paced around on the shabby carpet inside the Best Western suite. It definitely wasn’t up to par with what John was used to, but he wasn’t prepared to still be here in the Midwest and wasn’t familiar with the finer hotels in the area. Assuming finer hotels even exist in Kansas.
Suddenly John came bursting into the living room.
John:
“I’ve got it!”
Julia looked over at him and pointed to the phone that she held in her hand. Instead of apologizing, John simply continued on with his grand discovery.
John:
“Buddy Love doesn’t want to BEAT me this weekend, he wants to BE me!”
He definitely seemed to be proud of his assumed realizations, but Julia was preoccupied. She tried to plug her ear and continue the conversation, but John walked over to the nearby wall and hung the cordless phone up from the receiver. Julia panicked, thinking the call was dropped, but then turned to see a smirking John Anthony with his pointer finger on the ‘End Call’ button.
Julia:
“John, what are you doing?! Do you know who that was? We were hammering out a new financing deal on the Trenton building to cut costs!”
John:
“More importantly, listen to this. Ok, so I was looking over everything Buddy Love has done this week, right? And I realized that he isn’t preparing to face off with me at all. He’s actually trying to become me, become John Anthony! Right down to a T!”
Frustrated, Julia massaged her temples in utter disbelief at what she was hearing. Even so, what did it matter? There was now a pissed off banker somewhere in the country fuming over Julia hanging up on him, and a half eccentric John Anthony was babbling about nothing important.
Julia:
“John, how much have you slept lately?”
John:
“There’s nothing to sleep on.”
Julia:
“What? There’s a bedroom with a perfectly working bed in it.”
John:
“Haha, you called that thing a bed. It’s more like a boulder covered in ugly fabric. Anyway, that’s not important right now. What is important is Buddy Love. Let me tell you what I’ve discovered. This week what has Buddy Love done? He played poker with Al Pacino and started spitting out odds figures, he dreamt of dressing like the best and hanging out in the VIP with only the finest women, he stole my catchphrases on numerous occasions, and he made a poorly edited video about every sport he could think of in a five minute time span claiming he’s an athlete in all of them!”
Julia:
“A lot of people do those things John. You aren’t the only one.”
John:
“Oh but you’re wrong! Who else says ‘worth every penny’? Who else talks about the ‘High Life’ as a proper noun? No one! Only I, John Anthony, partake in such strange occurrences, and Buddy Love is trying to steal that right from under my feet! His plan wasn’t to just get into my head this week by studying my lifestyle, it was to learn how to be me, learn how to replace me after Friday! It all makes perfect sense now.”
Julia:
“Or maybe it was because your Eastern Heavyweight Championship is on the line and he wants any kind of edge on you that he can have?”
John:
“You are thinking too simple Julia. Look at the bigger picture. Buddy Love already has the Mid-Atlantic championship, so why would he even want the Eastern Heavyweight Champion? Huh? Think about it… BECAUSE I HAVE IT! It’s the final piece of the puzzle to being John Anthony! Being on top of the business could give him access to the money, the clothes, the VIP rooms, the women, and the title belt. With all of that, he might as well just call himself Buddy “John Anthony” Love!”
Julia:
“That’s… ridiculous.”
John:
“I thought so too at first, but then I tried these wine coolers that Buddy always speaks of. About half a dozen into them I started to piece things together. But I’m not going to let Buddy steal my identity… see? That title belt is like my birth certificate. Without that, no one will really think he’s John Anthony, because I am!”
Julia quickly realized that this was going nowhere fast and tried to get John to sit down. His breath smelt of fruity alcoholic beverages and his eyes lacked focus. Sitting down, she tried to explain to him that Buddy wasn’t trying to steal his identity and that he needed to get focused on the task at hand again. Out of nowhere John jumped into the air and crouched into a praying mantis stance.
John:
“I need to learn kung-fu!”
He started making a strange assortment of “waaaaahhh!” and “wooooooo!” sounds as he threw his hands and feet around in awkward movements.
John:
“It’s like in the Matrix. Neo was The One, but to defeat the agents he needed kung-fu. Once he learned it and used it against Morpheus, he was able to destroy anyone who stood in front of him!”
Julia:
“John, that was a movie, and that’s not even how it happened!”
John breathed in deeply and then slowly pushed his arms downward as if entering a meditative stance. He closed his eyes and stood perfectly still as Julia looked on.
Julia:
“John?”
John:
“This Friday Buddy Love, I will protect my identity. You can steal my catchphrases and my mannerisms, but you cannot steal my championship! It defines who I am. It defines me as a champion. It defines John Anthony. And if you even try to lay your hands on my title, then… well, I know kung-fu now.”
John jumped up into the air and swung his right leg around in a huge arc. It crashed into a vase beside the old tube-style television and shattered it on contact. John fell to the hard floor as Julia looked on in disbelief. She was really hoping this was just an act. Wine coolers aren’t even high in alcohol content. Bending down, she put an arm under John to help lift him up. As they stood up, Julia asked him if he was alright.
John simply looked at her and gave a “Buddy Jesus” impression.
