Post by unstoppable on Sept 19, 2007 21:00:03 GMT -6
Decided to try something a bit different this time. anything in parenthesis is ooc commentary. It's also much shorter than usual for me... I think you'll enjoy anyway.
The camera fades in to see Greg Kilgreen holding a microphone. (yes… Greg Kilgreen’s manly and gripingly handsome features holding a phallic object... wait where was I? Oh yes!!)
“We’re standing here with the Unstoppable Dan Harvey as he prepares for his upcoming match against Zeke Inferno and Omega Storm. Dan are you nervous at all about your debut match?”
The camera then shifts over to Dan Harvey, (who is manlier than Greg Kilgreen by at least four Rocky Balboas) wearing his traditional pair of black sunglasses. His hair is pulled back behinid his head. He is dressed in a very nice business suit (there is a mustard stain under the lapel but shhh. It’s a rental!)
“Nervous? Me? This isn’t my first rodeo Greg.”
“Rodeo… that’s funny because you’re from Texas right?”
“Errr… right. Anyway, like I was saying before I was so idiotically interrupted. This isn’t the first time I’ve been to the wrestling ring. While I may have a bit of ring rust from being out for a few years, I know I’ll be able to go out there and steal the show just like I did in the golden days of… the early millennium. Wow, that really hasn’t been that long ago has it?”
Tentatively, Greg pulls the microphone back and responds (Sometimes I wish interviewers were smarter, I really do.)
“No, not really… sir.”
Dan sighs, putting a hand on his forehead. After a tense moment of silence Dan looks at the camera
“Look can we cut and start over?”
There is another tense moment of silence, the camera man trying to whisper something out of range of the microphone.
“What do you mean this is live? We are taping this for a DVD!”
The aggravation builds on Dan’s face as he listens to the pseudoexplanation (yes it’s a word. Look it up in a psychology text book whydontcha!).
“Whatever… lets just keep going.”
“Right. We have heard from both Zeke Inferno and Omega Storm…”
Mr. Harvey interrupts Greg as he speaks, stealing the attention before the interviewer can finish the question.
“Oh have we? Well they’ve made their presence known yes, but have we really heard from them? Really? I’ve watched both of them and Zeke was the only one who mentioned me, and even that was in passing! Apparently the two of them have better and more important things on their mind than the match tonight, which is quite insulting if you ask me. There aren’t many people who have the honor of wrestling me. There are people who would kill for the chance to grapple with me! (Just ask his next door neighbor. He just came out of the closet you know.) Zeke just doesn’t know what kind of opportunity he has. Omega appears to be lost in his little delusional world of paranoia. Boys, wake up! You aren’t just wrestling for survival here! There is a television title shot for next week on the line. Are you two just going to roll over and hand it to me on a silver platter or are you going to fight for it? If you two are focusing on our match you sure have a funny way of showing it! Omega, are you really that concerned with someone from your past? If the scariest tool in their arsenal is creative letter writing, then they have more problems than being beat by you. If you are scared by said creative letter writing… well then I think you’re pretty much hopeless. I cant even begin to tell you how many people I’ve pissed off over the years.”
Taking a play out of Dan’s book, Greg takes the microphone before he’s done. (And to think this man graduated college… Yay American Universities!)
“Care to elaborate on a few of the people you’ve “pissed off” over the years?”
The Unstoppable One appears dumbfounded, utterly shocked by his display of testicular fortitude. (Alternate text would be “he appears dumbfounded by the fact Greg Kilgreen doesn’t realize his zipper has been down for the entirety of this interview)
“Well… I’ve thrown a man by the name of Chameleon off a steel cage. I’ve broken the spirits of a wrestler known as Captain Marticus. I danged near caused another wrestler to kill himself because he couldn’t beat me. You know, I just realized that I may not be the best of people now. Thank you very much Greg. You’ve made me realize that I am officially a bastard. I can now go hang myself. Seriously though, it doesn’t matter to me who I’ve managed to piss off over the years. They have no bearing on what is ahead of me. Unless one of them suddenly shows up in the middle of my match and decide to screw me over, there is no reason to even think of them. If someone started sending me threatening letters, I’d call the police, and then laugh as they haul their sorry asses away. It’s as simple as that. Don’t make things more complicated than they have to be!”
“Well said. On to a new subject. There are rumors that you have been contacted by Fire about joining forces with her and Society of Chaos. Can you confirm or deny this?”
Dan sighs and shakes his head, his hands resting on his hips.
“You know nothing about the element of surprise do you? If I were to say no I wasn’t joining Society of Chaos then people are going to ask why I’m not. After all I’ve known Fire for years, and I am sure I can give guidance to the less experienced members. If I were to say I was joining then people would ask why. They will wonder if I could make it on my own. Would I be copping out by joining? Would I be a bad friend if I wasn’t joining? Who knows and, quite frankly, who cares?”
“Well I think I’d care…”
Dan is speechless. It is as if his mind had officially snapped, broken by the idiocy of the interviewer. Unable to mentally continue this interview, The Unstoppable Dan Harvey simply walks away, leaving Greg Kilgreen alone to deal with the camera man. (He didn’t even stay to cuddle… that bastard!)
“So… there you have it folks! Dan Harvey, Zeke Inferno, and Omega Storm. Who will walk out with the championship match? Whoever it is, it’s sure to be one hell of a match.”
The camera fades in to see Greg Kilgreen holding a microphone. (yes… Greg Kilgreen’s manly and gripingly handsome features holding a phallic object... wait where was I? Oh yes!!)
“We’re standing here with the Unstoppable Dan Harvey as he prepares for his upcoming match against Zeke Inferno and Omega Storm. Dan are you nervous at all about your debut match?”
The camera then shifts over to Dan Harvey, (who is manlier than Greg Kilgreen by at least four Rocky Balboas) wearing his traditional pair of black sunglasses. His hair is pulled back behinid his head. He is dressed in a very nice business suit (there is a mustard stain under the lapel but shhh. It’s a rental!)
“Nervous? Me? This isn’t my first rodeo Greg.”
“Rodeo… that’s funny because you’re from Texas right?”
“Errr… right. Anyway, like I was saying before I was so idiotically interrupted. This isn’t the first time I’ve been to the wrestling ring. While I may have a bit of ring rust from being out for a few years, I know I’ll be able to go out there and steal the show just like I did in the golden days of… the early millennium. Wow, that really hasn’t been that long ago has it?”
Tentatively, Greg pulls the microphone back and responds (Sometimes I wish interviewers were smarter, I really do.)
“No, not really… sir.”
Dan sighs, putting a hand on his forehead. After a tense moment of silence Dan looks at the camera
“Look can we cut and start over?”
There is another tense moment of silence, the camera man trying to whisper something out of range of the microphone.
“What do you mean this is live? We are taping this for a DVD!”
The aggravation builds on Dan’s face as he listens to the pseudoexplanation (yes it’s a word. Look it up in a psychology text book whydontcha!).
“Whatever… lets just keep going.”
“Right. We have heard from both Zeke Inferno and Omega Storm…”
Mr. Harvey interrupts Greg as he speaks, stealing the attention before the interviewer can finish the question.
“Oh have we? Well they’ve made their presence known yes, but have we really heard from them? Really? I’ve watched both of them and Zeke was the only one who mentioned me, and even that was in passing! Apparently the two of them have better and more important things on their mind than the match tonight, which is quite insulting if you ask me. There aren’t many people who have the honor of wrestling me. There are people who would kill for the chance to grapple with me! (Just ask his next door neighbor. He just came out of the closet you know.) Zeke just doesn’t know what kind of opportunity he has. Omega appears to be lost in his little delusional world of paranoia. Boys, wake up! You aren’t just wrestling for survival here! There is a television title shot for next week on the line. Are you two just going to roll over and hand it to me on a silver platter or are you going to fight for it? If you two are focusing on our match you sure have a funny way of showing it! Omega, are you really that concerned with someone from your past? If the scariest tool in their arsenal is creative letter writing, then they have more problems than being beat by you. If you are scared by said creative letter writing… well then I think you’re pretty much hopeless. I cant even begin to tell you how many people I’ve pissed off over the years.”
Taking a play out of Dan’s book, Greg takes the microphone before he’s done. (And to think this man graduated college… Yay American Universities!)
“Care to elaborate on a few of the people you’ve “pissed off” over the years?”
The Unstoppable One appears dumbfounded, utterly shocked by his display of testicular fortitude. (Alternate text would be “he appears dumbfounded by the fact Greg Kilgreen doesn’t realize his zipper has been down for the entirety of this interview)
“Well… I’ve thrown a man by the name of Chameleon off a steel cage. I’ve broken the spirits of a wrestler known as Captain Marticus. I danged near caused another wrestler to kill himself because he couldn’t beat me. You know, I just realized that I may not be the best of people now. Thank you very much Greg. You’ve made me realize that I am officially a bastard. I can now go hang myself. Seriously though, it doesn’t matter to me who I’ve managed to piss off over the years. They have no bearing on what is ahead of me. Unless one of them suddenly shows up in the middle of my match and decide to screw me over, there is no reason to even think of them. If someone started sending me threatening letters, I’d call the police, and then laugh as they haul their sorry asses away. It’s as simple as that. Don’t make things more complicated than they have to be!”
“Well said. On to a new subject. There are rumors that you have been contacted by Fire about joining forces with her and Society of Chaos. Can you confirm or deny this?”
Dan sighs and shakes his head, his hands resting on his hips.
“You know nothing about the element of surprise do you? If I were to say no I wasn’t joining Society of Chaos then people are going to ask why I’m not. After all I’ve known Fire for years, and I am sure I can give guidance to the less experienced members. If I were to say I was joining then people would ask why. They will wonder if I could make it on my own. Would I be copping out by joining? Would I be a bad friend if I wasn’t joining? Who knows and, quite frankly, who cares?”
“Well I think I’d care…”
Dan is speechless. It is as if his mind had officially snapped, broken by the idiocy of the interviewer. Unable to mentally continue this interview, The Unstoppable Dan Harvey simply walks away, leaving Greg Kilgreen alone to deal with the camera man. (He didn’t even stay to cuddle… that bastard!)
“So… there you have it folks! Dan Harvey, Zeke Inferno, and Omega Storm. Who will walk out with the championship match? Whoever it is, it’s sure to be one hell of a match.”