Post by unstoppable on Sept 26, 2007 22:36:42 GMT -6
This one is much easier on your attention spans heheh. uncharacterstically short... enjoy
As children are prone to do, young Jessica has awakened from her slumber in the wee hours of the morning. While eating cereal in her pj’s, she manages to stumble on a program marked with a parental block on the house tivo. With a few clicks of the remote, the young one has unlocked the protective hand watching over her television experience. So much for the v chip. On the television screen is the Tyra Banks show. It didn’t take long for her to watch Lucy Lawless claim to carry her father’s child. Those big ears… she knew something was not right about them! Well she was going to figure out once and for all if she had a brother or sister and didn’t know about it. She goes into the garage, grabbing a workman’s tape measure.
Children also have a nasty talent. They have the ability to do weird things to their parents whilst they are sleeping. This morning was no exception. She climbed up Dan’s bed, and takes the metal tape measure, stretching it to measure her ear. His body shifts when the cold metal touches his ear. Undaunted, Jessica measures again, this time managing to knick the lobe, causing a small amount of blood to trickle out. This causes Dan to awake from his sleep, mumbling as he sees his daughter, catching her red handed.
“Sweetie, what are you doing with that?”
Jessica lets the tape measurer retract, the force causing it to leap from her hand, falling to the ground. Once it is out of her hand, she is free to pout at her deceitful and lecherous father.
“You lied to me!”
Dan sits up on the bed, sighing as he rubs his eyes, trying desperately to wake up.
“What are you talking about?”
“I have a brother, and a sister, and a… pony!”
Dan looks at her with a pseudo stern stare. After all, being awaken from your slumber by your daughter measuring your ear… is confusing!
“You aren’t getting a pony Jessica. Now, why were you measuring my ear?”
Jessica looks down at her nails, learning this behavior from someone who will remain nameless.
“Lucy Lawless said she spread her legs for you because you had big ears…”
That just made Dan’s confusion worse.
“You aren’t making any sense at all. Where did you hear this?”
Jessica points to the television room where the entire incident took place.
“I saw it on the Tyra Banks show. Flappy Flapper and Lucy Lawless were saying because you have big ears you she spread her legs and she had babies. I always wanted a baby sister!”
Dan sighs and puts a hand on his daughters shoulder, pulling her in for a hug.
“You don’t have a sister. I don’t want you to think a lot about what you heard. You see, some people in the world have the intelligence of a gnat. Flap Flannagan is one of those people. Lucy Lawless… well I just don’t understand at all. I never met Lucy Lawless, we’ve never had children together, and you are the only princess in my life.”
Jessica looks up at her father with a wide eyed expression. There is always the hope of being daddies little girl.
“You mean it daddy?”
With a kiss to the top of her head, Dan smiles.
“I promise… now go finish watching your cartoons. That’s more intelligent than watching Tyra Banks anyway.”
Jessica quickly scampers off. Mr. Wizard is about to come on and you can’t miss that! That would ruin the young ones entire day! It was time for Dan to take a shower, shave, and get ready to face the day. He moves into the bathroom and looks in the mirror. His attention is brought toward his nicked ear. With a groan he moves his finger over it, wincing slightly.
“God damn flapping bastard… I swear he’s causing me more trouble than he’s worth. The problem is he isn’t even doing anything remotely intelligent. It’s sad the only person that can follow his logic is a five year old isn’t it?”
He has to take care of the “wound”. It could be troublesome if it became infected, despite its small size. Slowly, he washes it off, his mind heavy with the task at hand.
“Tonight is the night…”
Tonight is the night indeed. In just a few hours he will be wrestling for the television title against a man who has caused him more mental grief than anyone he has ever come across. Yes, his only weakness is utter stupidity. Will he be able to survive this night? Will he be able to overcome and win the championship, defending it against all comers? Perhaps… but first he has to get naked and cleanse himself. No you don’t get to see that… perverts
As children are prone to do, young Jessica has awakened from her slumber in the wee hours of the morning. While eating cereal in her pj’s, she manages to stumble on a program marked with a parental block on the house tivo. With a few clicks of the remote, the young one has unlocked the protective hand watching over her television experience. So much for the v chip. On the television screen is the Tyra Banks show. It didn’t take long for her to watch Lucy Lawless claim to carry her father’s child. Those big ears… she knew something was not right about them! Well she was going to figure out once and for all if she had a brother or sister and didn’t know about it. She goes into the garage, grabbing a workman’s tape measure.
Children also have a nasty talent. They have the ability to do weird things to their parents whilst they are sleeping. This morning was no exception. She climbed up Dan’s bed, and takes the metal tape measure, stretching it to measure her ear. His body shifts when the cold metal touches his ear. Undaunted, Jessica measures again, this time managing to knick the lobe, causing a small amount of blood to trickle out. This causes Dan to awake from his sleep, mumbling as he sees his daughter, catching her red handed.
“Sweetie, what are you doing with that?”
Jessica lets the tape measurer retract, the force causing it to leap from her hand, falling to the ground. Once it is out of her hand, she is free to pout at her deceitful and lecherous father.
“You lied to me!”
Dan sits up on the bed, sighing as he rubs his eyes, trying desperately to wake up.
“What are you talking about?”
“I have a brother, and a sister, and a… pony!”
Dan looks at her with a pseudo stern stare. After all, being awaken from your slumber by your daughter measuring your ear… is confusing!
“You aren’t getting a pony Jessica. Now, why were you measuring my ear?”
Jessica looks down at her nails, learning this behavior from someone who will remain nameless.
“Lucy Lawless said she spread her legs for you because you had big ears…”
That just made Dan’s confusion worse.
“You aren’t making any sense at all. Where did you hear this?”
Jessica points to the television room where the entire incident took place.
“I saw it on the Tyra Banks show. Flappy Flapper and Lucy Lawless were saying because you have big ears you she spread her legs and she had babies. I always wanted a baby sister!”
Dan sighs and puts a hand on his daughters shoulder, pulling her in for a hug.
“You don’t have a sister. I don’t want you to think a lot about what you heard. You see, some people in the world have the intelligence of a gnat. Flap Flannagan is one of those people. Lucy Lawless… well I just don’t understand at all. I never met Lucy Lawless, we’ve never had children together, and you are the only princess in my life.”
Jessica looks up at her father with a wide eyed expression. There is always the hope of being daddies little girl.
“You mean it daddy?”
With a kiss to the top of her head, Dan smiles.
“I promise… now go finish watching your cartoons. That’s more intelligent than watching Tyra Banks anyway.”
Jessica quickly scampers off. Mr. Wizard is about to come on and you can’t miss that! That would ruin the young ones entire day! It was time for Dan to take a shower, shave, and get ready to face the day. He moves into the bathroom and looks in the mirror. His attention is brought toward his nicked ear. With a groan he moves his finger over it, wincing slightly.
“God damn flapping bastard… I swear he’s causing me more trouble than he’s worth. The problem is he isn’t even doing anything remotely intelligent. It’s sad the only person that can follow his logic is a five year old isn’t it?”
He has to take care of the “wound”. It could be troublesome if it became infected, despite its small size. Slowly, he washes it off, his mind heavy with the task at hand.
“Tonight is the night…”
Tonight is the night indeed. In just a few hours he will be wrestling for the television title against a man who has caused him more mental grief than anyone he has ever come across. Yes, his only weakness is utter stupidity. Will he be able to survive this night? Will he be able to overcome and win the championship, defending it against all comers? Perhaps… but first he has to get naked and cleanse himself. No you don’t get to see that… perverts