Post by unstoppable on Sept 22, 2007 22:20:58 GMT -6
“The world is full of ponies! Fly on the wings of a pony and be free!”
These words echoed through the ears of young Jessica, awakened from her bed by a mystical voice.
Jessica mumbled as her tiny hands wiped the sleep from her eyes, “Ponies? I like ponies!”
When her sense of sight became coherent enough to take everything in, she was delighted to find a proud stallion standing at the foot of her bed. It was truly a beautiful beast, shimmering with a pure white coat, wings flapping in the relatively small room. His wings crash against the shelves, cluttering her floor with books, dolls, and toys.
“Climb on my back! And I shall take you to a world of great adventure!”
Without a moments hesitation, Jessica jumps onto the back of the pony, it’s wings wrapping protectively around the young girl.
“What’s your name?”
“My name is Zev. Now before we go young Jessica, queen of the pony world, there is something I must tell you….”
Jessica latches onto Zev’s neck and smiles, never being so content in all of her life.
“What is it?”
The voice of the mystical pony deepens, growing manlier, a slight gruff carried by the undertone.
“It’s time to wake up.”
“What? But… but.. .I don’t want to go!”
“Wake up. We’re going to be late sweetie. Go get dressed.”
And with that, the world of Jessica, the pony princess, was shattered once and for all. Her eyes open slowly, this time seeing her father, sitting at the foot of her bed. With a loud cry she slams her fist onto the bed.
“I was the pony princess daddy! You killed my pony Zev! We were going to fly around the world together!”
Dan laughs softly, reaching down to poke his daughter in the belly.
“Don’t be silly sweetie. Pony’s don’t have wings.”
Jessica pouts, burying her face in her pillow, hiding from the pony killer.
“Hurry up and get dressed. We only got forty minutes until the show starts.”
Thirty minutes later
The tension is suffocating the red sports sedan. Dan Harvey concentrates on navigating the potentially fatal downtown Houston traffic as Jessica continues to mourn the loss of her nighttime friend. Cautiously, he diverts his gaze down to his daughter, pouting heavily in the front seat.
“You still aren’t upset about me waking you up from your dream this morning are you?”
Undaunted by her father’s attempts, Jessica keeps her pouting gaze forward.
“Pony killer!”
Ponies, the bane of the single father. There isn’t much he could do to ease her pain other than try to explain things as they really are.
“Sweetheart, need I remind you that pouting girls don’t get to see Bambi in the Imax or get to go to Baskin Robins afterwards?”
The threat of losing her trip to the ice cream wonderland was the last straw. Her childlike defenses were gone. All she could do now is turn to her father and give her the pleading eyes.
“Daaaaaaaaady!”
Unable to ignore his daughters cry, he turns his gaze toward the child in the car seat once more.
“Behave yourself young lady.”
With a few mumbled curses, believe to be under his breath and away from the young ones ears, the car was parked. After navigating the parking lot they found themselves second in line at the ticket booth behind a mother and her daughter, appearing to be about the same age as little Jessica.
“That’ll be fifty dollars.”
The young woman pays her money before giving Dan a wink.
“Hello there stranger. I notice you don’t have a ring on your finger. Why don’t you and I sit together and…”
Jessica tugs on her father’s shirt, pulling his attention back down to her. She looks definitely at the middle aged woman and shouts in an almost too cute voice.
“Back off bitch he’s my daddy!”
Dan is confused. He has two options. He can either laugh at his daughter calling a middle aged woman a bitch, or he can discipline her.
“Jessica! Where did you hear such foul language?”
“I learned it from aunty. She said that to a lady friend she had over while you were gone.”
He rolls his eyes and mumbles a bit more to himself, profanity lacing his thoughts as the very offended lustful wench storms off.
“Well that’s the last time she’s going to be babysitting you while I’m gone. Anyway two tickets for Bambi please.”
“That’ll be seventy bucks.”
The clock is ticking. Mr. Harvey can either pay the money, or he can fight it. Sometimes the man inside wins.
“Now wait a minute! The price says it’s fifty! Why are you charging me extra?”
Safe from the wrath of the superstar behind his tinted bullet proof glass, the teenager spouts back a reply just as foul as young Jessica’s mouth.
“Profanity costs extra sir!”
“Why you little pimple faced piss ant!”
“That’s eighty!”
Adding into the mixture of the fray of manly battle, Jessica tugs on her father’s shirt, speaking with a tear filled face.
“Pay the man daddy! I want to see Baaaaaaambi!”
“How dare you! Let me see your manager!”
Now he was just getting to be prickish. The voice, growing ever more confident Mr. Harvey will be thrown out before he could get to him, barks back once more.
“Demanding to see the manager will be an extra twenty dollars. That brings your total to one hundred dollars sir!”
The crowd behind Dan, waiting to buy tickets, were growing impatient. The tears of his daughters, now flowing down her face proved too much for him to handle. He laments… Dan Harvey just got wallet raped. He slips the hundred into the window.
“It’s the third screen on the left.”
Dan takes the tickets with one hand and his daughters hand with the other, slowly making his way inside, his eyes never leaving the booth of freshly bubbling testosterone.
“Least I’ve seen a grown woman’s titty before… punk”
Granted Dan might not be father of the year, but he is still a man. A man has to do what a man has to do. He walks up to the concession stand and orders a large drink. He then undoes the lid and pours a diluted form of ipecac into the drink. Thankfully he caries a vial of the stuff just in case Jessica gets into something that she shouldn’t have. Once it is stirred completely he hands it off to a man in a red vest, an obvious employee of the Cineplex.
“Could you please bring this to the man at the ticket booth please. I feel bad for causing a scene out there.”
Way to set an example! The red vested fellow is off to give the vomit inducing drink to his coworker. Dan then looks down at his daughter who has witnessed this entire incident.
“Daddy, why did you feed him something from the icky vial?”
Dan kneels and places a hand on his daughters shoulder.
“Because, my little princess, assault is a criminal offense. Making a person throw up is only a misdemeanor. Now come on lets go the show is about to start.”
And, of course, with every first viewing of Bambi, the tragic loss of Bambi’s mother has broken the heart of the young and pseudo innocent girl. The tears flowed down her face uncontrollably, though she hid the sounds of her cries from the audience. Eventually the movie ended and Dan was left to tend to Jessica outside of the room.
“Is that how mommy died? Did some crazy man shoot her with a shotgun?”
Dan puts a hand on her shoulder, gazing at the face that has melted his heart more times than he can count.
“Oh no sweetheart. Mommy didn’t die like that. But hunny don’t you remember how Bambi’s daddy came and saved him? He grew up just fine!”
This does little to console the grieving and alarmingly imaginative child.
“Yes but the bad man is going to come back and murder Bambi! I know it! People don’t hit an area just once!”
This child needs to stop watching television.
“Where on Earth did you hear that?”
“CSI. Daddy is someone going to come and shoot you? I don’t want you to die daddy!”
How could anyone resist that kind of love? He wraps his arms around his daughter and pats her back. Unfortunately Dan isn’t the best with words at times and so…
“Awwww there there. I can’t promise you that nobody is going to shoot me. I mean there are a lot of crazy people out there.”
This causes his daughter to scream, clinging to her father’s neck tighter than before.
“Sweetie, if you don’t let go of my neck soon you’ll never have to worry about somebody shooting me, because you’ll have strangled me yourself. Now look. I’m not going to die anytime soon. Even if someone did shoot me, I’m a strong guy.”
The sniffling child is partially consoled. There was still one question in her mind.
“But… but what if you get shot in the head?”
“… I’m taking the television out of your room. Come on. Let’s go get you some ice cream.”
In a single evening this poor young girl has lost her imaginary pony friend with unexplainable wings and had her world shattered with an animated bullet. As if that wasn’t enough trauma for a day, over comes a father and a young son, dressed in camouflage pants. Dan can see the scene already in his mind.
“Well this is going to end well…”
To compound the trauma, the boy speaks to his father.
“Why couldn’t we go deer hunting instead daddy?”
“Nooooooooooooooooo!!!”
The beast was loose. Well trained in the martial art of wiggle fu, Jessica squirms her way out of her father’s arms and proceeds to tackle to poor boy to the ground. With a flurry of slaps and punches that could only be explained as girlishly amazing, Jessica quickly reduces the would be hunter to tears.
“You killed Bambi’s mother! I won’t let you kill Bambi!!!”
“Daddy heeeeeelp!”
Watching your son getting beat up by a girl is alarming at best. Watching your daughter beat up a boy is hilarious. Dan can’t help but laugh at the feeble attempts of the boy to cover up.
“I’m going to special hell for this, I just know it!”
The father can do nothing but hide his head in his hands, shameful of his son as Dan finally pulls Jessica off the boy, now with a slightly bloody nose.
“Sorry sir. I didn’t know she’d… well, kick your son’s ass.”
“That’s okay… he just lost his gun privileges until he proves he can beat up a girl like his old man…”
Thinking it best just to leave that one alone Dan slowly starts to back away. Once they are out of ear shot of the father and his brutally battered son he has to ask, dreading the answer.
“Where did you learn how to fight like that?”
She points adamantly at her father, exclaiming like a true child with volume control problems.
“I learned it from watching you!”
An individual dressed in a three piece suit steps in front of the camera, his hands clasped together just over his waist.
“Submitted for your approval, a man who earns his money by fighting, and the daughter who learned from watching. So too continues the vicious cycle of violence that only serves to perpetuate agony and despair to all those trapped inside. With bad parenting only compounding the problem, you can be rest assured that little Jessica will grow up to become just another victim of domestic violence.”
“Hey I can hear you, you know!”
“Oops… I…er… Look over there!”
He points behind Dan and his daughter. Once they turn around he runs with his arms flailing in the air.
We rejoin Dan Harvey as he stands in front of a black screen. Dressed in his wrestling gear and typical black sunglasses, it is easy to assume he is here for one reason only, to address his opponent, Flap Flanagan. In his ever confident voice, Dan speaks.
“If there’s one thing I can’t stand it is being ignored…”
Dan takes off his glasses, his eyes intense, the camera zooming inward to gaze at his ferocity.
“You don’t seem to understand what you are truly up against. You can drink your Dr. Pepper and “flap” your gums about your kidnapped sister, but in the end you still need to wrestle me this week. You aren’t going to get out of it just because your sister is kidnapped by your supposed friend.”
With a groan Dan rolls his eyes. He sighs heavily before shaking his head, finally looking back into the camera.
“You know what, I can’t even go along with it. God what a horrible facade you’ve made Flanagan. We are supposed to believe your sister is kidnapped when you find time to celebrate your victory? If my sister was kidnapped, as annoying as she can be, I know I wouldn’t be in the mood for celebrating. Yet you, in your glorious lack of common sense and sincerity, find time to put back the Dr. Peppers as if they closed down and went bankrupt! Come on Flap… are we to believe that you have chronicled your events for everyone to see without the involvement of the police? You mean to tell us that instead of going to the police you decide to take these men on by yourself with little to no knowledge of there whereabouts? To top it all off, in your last installment you reveal that it was your best friend that orchestrated this lovely trap? Pardon me while I laugh at the absurdity of it all!”
With a waggle of his finger Dan places the glasses back on his face. The calm grin glides across his face once more as he crosses his arms over his chest.
“I don’t buy it. Nice try though. See I have a different theory behind it all. I believe your sister is safe from harm. I believe you are using this to put your opponents off guard. Thinking you would be off your game your opponents might be tempted to take it easy on you. I’m not that easily fooled Mr. Flanagan. I intend on coming at you with both guns blazing. There will be nothing standing between me and my goal when I am through with you. The real question on my mind isn’t whether or not I’ll be ready for you. Oh no. I’m more concerned with you being ready for me! I barely broke a sweat last week. It was such a shame. It was barely worth getting dressed out for. If our interaction last night proved anything to me, it proved that you aren’t sure what you are going up against. I have been wrestling for practically your entire life! I have more experience than anyone you’ve ever come across. I won’t go down without a fight my soda drinking brethren. As much of an advantage I may have over you, I got to give you one thing. You have a lot of people talking. They say you may be the best Television champion this company has ever seen. They say you probably won’t let go of that championship for some time now. Unfortunately for you, you’ve never faced someone like me. You’ve never faced someone with my level of experience, intensity, and expertise!”
The camera pans over to the left of Dan Harvey, the blackness behind him changing to a picture taken no less than two years ago. Eliminator, holding up the BWF Championship.
“You should be honored Flap. It isn’t everybody who gets dethroned by someone like me. If I were you, young pup, I’d be studying how I won every single championship I’ve ever had. In fact, I’ve taken the liberty of delivering a present to your house. Expect the videos to be there within two days. Watch them closely. When gold is on the line I’m a completely different wrestler. I take no prisoners. There will be no escape for you. If I throw you outside of the ring, I’ll be there. If I fling you into the turnbuckle be rest assured I won’t be far behind. Its six days until your reign as Television Champion comes to an end. You know, I think I’m going to enjoy this title reign more than any other I’ve had. By taking the Television Title, I’ll be able to elevate it to heights never before seen. I’ll make it more prestigious than the world title itself! All it needs is the proper champion. I can’t think of anyone more appropriate than me. The difference between you and I Flanagan is I’m not distracted by such trivial matters. I don’t have to put on facades to take my opponents off their game. I need not manipulate the public to meet my needs. I am self sufficient. I am unstoppable. I am Dan Harvey, and I am the man who is going to take you down!”
His face suddenly gets lighter, the intensity fading from his face, if only temporarily.
“I think I’ll dedicate the match to my daughter, seeing as how she is old enough to watch me wrestle for the first time. I could even have a miniature version of the belt made for my little champion of a daughter. Oh she’d be so cute in….erm… uh… As I was saying, it’s time for you, Flap Flanagan, to realize your time is at an end. I’m glad you enjoy Dr. Pepper, because after this Friday you’ll be on an all liquid diet! It’s Do or Die time Flap, and I have just one more thing to say.”
The camera zooms in on his face, his voice filled with the passion that was present just minutes before.
“Get Ready To Be Eliminated!!!!!”
These words echoed through the ears of young Jessica, awakened from her bed by a mystical voice.
Jessica mumbled as her tiny hands wiped the sleep from her eyes, “Ponies? I like ponies!”
When her sense of sight became coherent enough to take everything in, she was delighted to find a proud stallion standing at the foot of her bed. It was truly a beautiful beast, shimmering with a pure white coat, wings flapping in the relatively small room. His wings crash against the shelves, cluttering her floor with books, dolls, and toys.
“Climb on my back! And I shall take you to a world of great adventure!”
Without a moments hesitation, Jessica jumps onto the back of the pony, it’s wings wrapping protectively around the young girl.
“What’s your name?”
“My name is Zev. Now before we go young Jessica, queen of the pony world, there is something I must tell you….”
Jessica latches onto Zev’s neck and smiles, never being so content in all of her life.
“What is it?”
The voice of the mystical pony deepens, growing manlier, a slight gruff carried by the undertone.
“It’s time to wake up.”
“What? But… but.. .I don’t want to go!”
“Wake up. We’re going to be late sweetie. Go get dressed.”
And with that, the world of Jessica, the pony princess, was shattered once and for all. Her eyes open slowly, this time seeing her father, sitting at the foot of her bed. With a loud cry she slams her fist onto the bed.
“I was the pony princess daddy! You killed my pony Zev! We were going to fly around the world together!”
Dan laughs softly, reaching down to poke his daughter in the belly.
“Don’t be silly sweetie. Pony’s don’t have wings.”
Jessica pouts, burying her face in her pillow, hiding from the pony killer.
“Hurry up and get dressed. We only got forty minutes until the show starts.”
Thirty minutes later
The tension is suffocating the red sports sedan. Dan Harvey concentrates on navigating the potentially fatal downtown Houston traffic as Jessica continues to mourn the loss of her nighttime friend. Cautiously, he diverts his gaze down to his daughter, pouting heavily in the front seat.
“You still aren’t upset about me waking you up from your dream this morning are you?”
Undaunted by her father’s attempts, Jessica keeps her pouting gaze forward.
“Pony killer!”
Ponies, the bane of the single father. There isn’t much he could do to ease her pain other than try to explain things as they really are.
“Sweetheart, need I remind you that pouting girls don’t get to see Bambi in the Imax or get to go to Baskin Robins afterwards?”
The threat of losing her trip to the ice cream wonderland was the last straw. Her childlike defenses were gone. All she could do now is turn to her father and give her the pleading eyes.
“Daaaaaaaaady!”
Unable to ignore his daughters cry, he turns his gaze toward the child in the car seat once more.
“Behave yourself young lady.”
With a few mumbled curses, believe to be under his breath and away from the young ones ears, the car was parked. After navigating the parking lot they found themselves second in line at the ticket booth behind a mother and her daughter, appearing to be about the same age as little Jessica.
“That’ll be fifty dollars.”
The young woman pays her money before giving Dan a wink.
“Hello there stranger. I notice you don’t have a ring on your finger. Why don’t you and I sit together and…”
Jessica tugs on her father’s shirt, pulling his attention back down to her. She looks definitely at the middle aged woman and shouts in an almost too cute voice.
“Back off bitch he’s my daddy!”
Dan is confused. He has two options. He can either laugh at his daughter calling a middle aged woman a bitch, or he can discipline her.
“Jessica! Where did you hear such foul language?”
“I learned it from aunty. She said that to a lady friend she had over while you were gone.”
He rolls his eyes and mumbles a bit more to himself, profanity lacing his thoughts as the very offended lustful wench storms off.
“Well that’s the last time she’s going to be babysitting you while I’m gone. Anyway two tickets for Bambi please.”
“That’ll be seventy bucks.”
The clock is ticking. Mr. Harvey can either pay the money, or he can fight it. Sometimes the man inside wins.
“Now wait a minute! The price says it’s fifty! Why are you charging me extra?”
Safe from the wrath of the superstar behind his tinted bullet proof glass, the teenager spouts back a reply just as foul as young Jessica’s mouth.
“Profanity costs extra sir!”
“Why you little pimple faced piss ant!”
“That’s eighty!”
Adding into the mixture of the fray of manly battle, Jessica tugs on her father’s shirt, speaking with a tear filled face.
“Pay the man daddy! I want to see Baaaaaaambi!”
“How dare you! Let me see your manager!”
Now he was just getting to be prickish. The voice, growing ever more confident Mr. Harvey will be thrown out before he could get to him, barks back once more.
“Demanding to see the manager will be an extra twenty dollars. That brings your total to one hundred dollars sir!”
The crowd behind Dan, waiting to buy tickets, were growing impatient. The tears of his daughters, now flowing down her face proved too much for him to handle. He laments… Dan Harvey just got wallet raped. He slips the hundred into the window.
“It’s the third screen on the left.”
Dan takes the tickets with one hand and his daughters hand with the other, slowly making his way inside, his eyes never leaving the booth of freshly bubbling testosterone.
“Least I’ve seen a grown woman’s titty before… punk”
Granted Dan might not be father of the year, but he is still a man. A man has to do what a man has to do. He walks up to the concession stand and orders a large drink. He then undoes the lid and pours a diluted form of ipecac into the drink. Thankfully he caries a vial of the stuff just in case Jessica gets into something that she shouldn’t have. Once it is stirred completely he hands it off to a man in a red vest, an obvious employee of the Cineplex.
“Could you please bring this to the man at the ticket booth please. I feel bad for causing a scene out there.”
Way to set an example! The red vested fellow is off to give the vomit inducing drink to his coworker. Dan then looks down at his daughter who has witnessed this entire incident.
“Daddy, why did you feed him something from the icky vial?”
Dan kneels and places a hand on his daughters shoulder.
“Because, my little princess, assault is a criminal offense. Making a person throw up is only a misdemeanor. Now come on lets go the show is about to start.”
And, of course, with every first viewing of Bambi, the tragic loss of Bambi’s mother has broken the heart of the young and pseudo innocent girl. The tears flowed down her face uncontrollably, though she hid the sounds of her cries from the audience. Eventually the movie ended and Dan was left to tend to Jessica outside of the room.
“Is that how mommy died? Did some crazy man shoot her with a shotgun?”
Dan puts a hand on her shoulder, gazing at the face that has melted his heart more times than he can count.
“Oh no sweetheart. Mommy didn’t die like that. But hunny don’t you remember how Bambi’s daddy came and saved him? He grew up just fine!”
This does little to console the grieving and alarmingly imaginative child.
“Yes but the bad man is going to come back and murder Bambi! I know it! People don’t hit an area just once!”
This child needs to stop watching television.
“Where on Earth did you hear that?”
“CSI. Daddy is someone going to come and shoot you? I don’t want you to die daddy!”
How could anyone resist that kind of love? He wraps his arms around his daughter and pats her back. Unfortunately Dan isn’t the best with words at times and so…
“Awwww there there. I can’t promise you that nobody is going to shoot me. I mean there are a lot of crazy people out there.”
This causes his daughter to scream, clinging to her father’s neck tighter than before.
“Sweetie, if you don’t let go of my neck soon you’ll never have to worry about somebody shooting me, because you’ll have strangled me yourself. Now look. I’m not going to die anytime soon. Even if someone did shoot me, I’m a strong guy.”
The sniffling child is partially consoled. There was still one question in her mind.
“But… but what if you get shot in the head?”
“… I’m taking the television out of your room. Come on. Let’s go get you some ice cream.”
In a single evening this poor young girl has lost her imaginary pony friend with unexplainable wings and had her world shattered with an animated bullet. As if that wasn’t enough trauma for a day, over comes a father and a young son, dressed in camouflage pants. Dan can see the scene already in his mind.
“Well this is going to end well…”
To compound the trauma, the boy speaks to his father.
“Why couldn’t we go deer hunting instead daddy?”
“Nooooooooooooooooo!!!”
The beast was loose. Well trained in the martial art of wiggle fu, Jessica squirms her way out of her father’s arms and proceeds to tackle to poor boy to the ground. With a flurry of slaps and punches that could only be explained as girlishly amazing, Jessica quickly reduces the would be hunter to tears.
“You killed Bambi’s mother! I won’t let you kill Bambi!!!”
“Daddy heeeeeelp!”
Watching your son getting beat up by a girl is alarming at best. Watching your daughter beat up a boy is hilarious. Dan can’t help but laugh at the feeble attempts of the boy to cover up.
“I’m going to special hell for this, I just know it!”
The father can do nothing but hide his head in his hands, shameful of his son as Dan finally pulls Jessica off the boy, now with a slightly bloody nose.
“Sorry sir. I didn’t know she’d… well, kick your son’s ass.”
“That’s okay… he just lost his gun privileges until he proves he can beat up a girl like his old man…”
Thinking it best just to leave that one alone Dan slowly starts to back away. Once they are out of ear shot of the father and his brutally battered son he has to ask, dreading the answer.
“Where did you learn how to fight like that?”
She points adamantly at her father, exclaiming like a true child with volume control problems.
“I learned it from watching you!”
An individual dressed in a three piece suit steps in front of the camera, his hands clasped together just over his waist.
“Submitted for your approval, a man who earns his money by fighting, and the daughter who learned from watching. So too continues the vicious cycle of violence that only serves to perpetuate agony and despair to all those trapped inside. With bad parenting only compounding the problem, you can be rest assured that little Jessica will grow up to become just another victim of domestic violence.”
“Hey I can hear you, you know!”
“Oops… I…er… Look over there!”
He points behind Dan and his daughter. Once they turn around he runs with his arms flailing in the air.
We rejoin Dan Harvey as he stands in front of a black screen. Dressed in his wrestling gear and typical black sunglasses, it is easy to assume he is here for one reason only, to address his opponent, Flap Flanagan. In his ever confident voice, Dan speaks.
“If there’s one thing I can’t stand it is being ignored…”
Dan takes off his glasses, his eyes intense, the camera zooming inward to gaze at his ferocity.
“You don’t seem to understand what you are truly up against. You can drink your Dr. Pepper and “flap” your gums about your kidnapped sister, but in the end you still need to wrestle me this week. You aren’t going to get out of it just because your sister is kidnapped by your supposed friend.”
With a groan Dan rolls his eyes. He sighs heavily before shaking his head, finally looking back into the camera.
“You know what, I can’t even go along with it. God what a horrible facade you’ve made Flanagan. We are supposed to believe your sister is kidnapped when you find time to celebrate your victory? If my sister was kidnapped, as annoying as she can be, I know I wouldn’t be in the mood for celebrating. Yet you, in your glorious lack of common sense and sincerity, find time to put back the Dr. Peppers as if they closed down and went bankrupt! Come on Flap… are we to believe that you have chronicled your events for everyone to see without the involvement of the police? You mean to tell us that instead of going to the police you decide to take these men on by yourself with little to no knowledge of there whereabouts? To top it all off, in your last installment you reveal that it was your best friend that orchestrated this lovely trap? Pardon me while I laugh at the absurdity of it all!”
With a waggle of his finger Dan places the glasses back on his face. The calm grin glides across his face once more as he crosses his arms over his chest.
“I don’t buy it. Nice try though. See I have a different theory behind it all. I believe your sister is safe from harm. I believe you are using this to put your opponents off guard. Thinking you would be off your game your opponents might be tempted to take it easy on you. I’m not that easily fooled Mr. Flanagan. I intend on coming at you with both guns blazing. There will be nothing standing between me and my goal when I am through with you. The real question on my mind isn’t whether or not I’ll be ready for you. Oh no. I’m more concerned with you being ready for me! I barely broke a sweat last week. It was such a shame. It was barely worth getting dressed out for. If our interaction last night proved anything to me, it proved that you aren’t sure what you are going up against. I have been wrestling for practically your entire life! I have more experience than anyone you’ve ever come across. I won’t go down without a fight my soda drinking brethren. As much of an advantage I may have over you, I got to give you one thing. You have a lot of people talking. They say you may be the best Television champion this company has ever seen. They say you probably won’t let go of that championship for some time now. Unfortunately for you, you’ve never faced someone like me. You’ve never faced someone with my level of experience, intensity, and expertise!”
The camera pans over to the left of Dan Harvey, the blackness behind him changing to a picture taken no less than two years ago. Eliminator, holding up the BWF Championship.
“You should be honored Flap. It isn’t everybody who gets dethroned by someone like me. If I were you, young pup, I’d be studying how I won every single championship I’ve ever had. In fact, I’ve taken the liberty of delivering a present to your house. Expect the videos to be there within two days. Watch them closely. When gold is on the line I’m a completely different wrestler. I take no prisoners. There will be no escape for you. If I throw you outside of the ring, I’ll be there. If I fling you into the turnbuckle be rest assured I won’t be far behind. Its six days until your reign as Television Champion comes to an end. You know, I think I’m going to enjoy this title reign more than any other I’ve had. By taking the Television Title, I’ll be able to elevate it to heights never before seen. I’ll make it more prestigious than the world title itself! All it needs is the proper champion. I can’t think of anyone more appropriate than me. The difference between you and I Flanagan is I’m not distracted by such trivial matters. I don’t have to put on facades to take my opponents off their game. I need not manipulate the public to meet my needs. I am self sufficient. I am unstoppable. I am Dan Harvey, and I am the man who is going to take you down!”
His face suddenly gets lighter, the intensity fading from his face, if only temporarily.
“I think I’ll dedicate the match to my daughter, seeing as how she is old enough to watch me wrestle for the first time. I could even have a miniature version of the belt made for my little champion of a daughter. Oh she’d be so cute in….erm… uh… As I was saying, it’s time for you, Flap Flanagan, to realize your time is at an end. I’m glad you enjoy Dr. Pepper, because after this Friday you’ll be on an all liquid diet! It’s Do or Die time Flap, and I have just one more thing to say.”
The camera zooms in on his face, his voice filled with the passion that was present just minutes before.
“Get Ready To Be Eliminated!!!!!”