Post by thewobert on Jul 3, 2007 3:05:43 GMT -6
The scene opens on a street in downtown Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The camera comes upon Buddy’s Winnebago parked across the street from a bar. Music is blaring and people are dancing around the RV. The camera starts to cut through the crowd of men and women all dressed up in red, white and blue patterns to a relaxing Buddy Love. He has a very attractive brunette and equally attractive blonde, each only wearing one of his tie-dye bathrobes, in his arms on his laps. He chugs back a wine cooler and gives the “Buddy Jesus” look to the camera.
“Welcome ladies and gentlemen and ladies, to another edition of Buddy’s Gone Wild! We are here live! Right here, in the city of brotherly love, more like sisterly love at the moment….” Buddy smirks and points at the two girls making out a few feet away.
“Right here, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania!” Buddy shouts, and receives a roar from the crowd around the RV.
“We are here with some extremely fine, scandally clad ladies………” Buddy says as he looks the girls on his lap up and down.
“And some fellows obviously enjoying themselves………” Buddy says as the camera looks over at the group of guys drinking and dancing.
“This weekend, in the New Alhambra Center, POW: New England proudly presents Red, White and Bruised!” The crowd pops to Buddy’s declaration.
“It’s going to be a hell of a show! We got the Eight Man Battle Royal for the Number One Contendership for the Open-Weight Championship! We have a Four-Way Tag Team match for the Tag Team Championship! You know, it takes a ‘special friend’ to be a tag team partner. It’s all about sharing, holding, cuddling…… I mean, I have contemplated this with Big Norm a few times. But with his height, it’s a bit trou-” Buddy is cut off.
“That’s Big Norm, the Foot-Long Midget to you sucka! And I think I’m doing just fine with my height!” Big Norm barks back from a bench with a girl on each arm.
“It sure does dude………. Where was I? Oh yeah! Then we have the Open-Weight Championship match itself! Then we have myself, my friend Toro, my opponent Meltdown, and the champ David Hilt in a Double Jeopardy match for the Mid-Atlantic title! We are the undercard for the much awaited Heavyweight title main event between Zevon and John Anthony! It’s going to be a hell of night!” Buddy shouts and the crowd roars.
“Buddy, what the hell is your match?” Big Norm asks.
“Well dude, its three matches in one! Both matches take place at once with a separate referee assigned to each match. The winners of each match go on to face each other in the final match with the two losers remaining on as lumberjacks. There are no disqualifications with any of the four men being able to interact with each other, but only being able to gain a fall on their respective opponent. My respective opponent is Meltdown, then, if I defeat him, it is either the champ Hilt or my friend Toro.” Buddy explains.
“Damn sucka! That sounds like a hell of a match……” Big Norm replies.
“That it is buddy…… I’ve never been in a No DQ match before….. Its going to be a learning experience for me.” Buddy says grimly, until the two girls start to kiss on him.
“What do you mean?” Norm asks.
“Well, Meltdown grew up on the streets and is all for going ‘hardcore’. I surely don’t want to get slammed through a barb-wired table or get caught on the wrong end of his baseball bat wrapped in a chain.” Buddy declares to the agreement of the ladies.
“We don’t want you to cut up your face Buddy…..” The girls say as they rub on his cheeks.
“See dude, the bunnies agree!” Buddy shouts.
“You gotta fight fire with fire Buddy. Like when I find a sucka that has my sandwich……. I fight dirty!” Big Norm says and pulls out a chain.
“I’m only used to using my mitts…….” Buddy comments, holding up his fists.
“I bet you can’t even use a weapon!” Big Norm barks.
“Sure I can!” Buddy barks back.
“No you can’t!” Norm replies.
“Yes I can!” Buddy barks.
“No you can’t!” Norm shouts back.
“Yes I can!” Buddy shouts.
“No you can’t!” Norm barks.
Ten minutes later……….
“Yes I can! I’ll prove it!” Buddy shouts and storms off with a sledgehammer.
Buddy dashes down the street with the crowd of people giving a slow chase. Buddy gives the hammer a few swings as he climbs up the concrete steps. Buddy grips the hammer’s handle hard as he stares at the Liberty Bell a few feet away. The crowd circles around Buddy in anticipation at what is going to happen next. Big Norm pushes through the crowd and stands next to Buddy.
“Buddy! What the hell are you doing?” Big Norm shouts.
“I’m going to ring the Liberty Bell for our country!” Buddy shouts and gets a “USA! USA USA!” chant from the crowd.
“What are you talking about?” Big Norm asks.
“Our great nation has given us the freedoms many don’t have. In my next match, I will have another freedom, the freedom to use a weapon! USA! USA! USA!” Buddy starts to shout and rushes forward.
Buddy swings the hammer back and starts to hurl it forward to strike the bell. Suddenly, Buddy hits a crack and trips forward. He stumbles ahead uncontrollably, dropping the hammer, and smacking his head right into the Liberty Bell. Buddy falls backward onto his rear as the bell rings out through Philadelphia. Buddy lays on his back as the crowd roars and starts up the “USA” chant again.
“Damn buddy…... you won’t have to use a weapon with that hard head of yours!” Big Norm laughs.
“Uhnnnnnnnn…..” Buddy mumbles.
“What’s that?”
Buddy points up at the rack of a rather beautiful woman stands above him. Big Norm looks up and stares for a moment and says in awe:
“Hooters……..”
“Welcome ladies and gentlemen and ladies, to another edition of Buddy’s Gone Wild! We are here live! Right here, in the city of brotherly love, more like sisterly love at the moment….” Buddy smirks and points at the two girls making out a few feet away.
“Right here, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania!” Buddy shouts, and receives a roar from the crowd around the RV.
“We are here with some extremely fine, scandally clad ladies………” Buddy says as he looks the girls on his lap up and down.
“And some fellows obviously enjoying themselves………” Buddy says as the camera looks over at the group of guys drinking and dancing.
“This weekend, in the New Alhambra Center, POW: New England proudly presents Red, White and Bruised!” The crowd pops to Buddy’s declaration.
“It’s going to be a hell of a show! We got the Eight Man Battle Royal for the Number One Contendership for the Open-Weight Championship! We have a Four-Way Tag Team match for the Tag Team Championship! You know, it takes a ‘special friend’ to be a tag team partner. It’s all about sharing, holding, cuddling…… I mean, I have contemplated this with Big Norm a few times. But with his height, it’s a bit trou-” Buddy is cut off.
“That’s Big Norm, the Foot-Long Midget to you sucka! And I think I’m doing just fine with my height!” Big Norm barks back from a bench with a girl on each arm.
“It sure does dude………. Where was I? Oh yeah! Then we have the Open-Weight Championship match itself! Then we have myself, my friend Toro, my opponent Meltdown, and the champ David Hilt in a Double Jeopardy match for the Mid-Atlantic title! We are the undercard for the much awaited Heavyweight title main event between Zevon and John Anthony! It’s going to be a hell of night!” Buddy shouts and the crowd roars.
“Buddy, what the hell is your match?” Big Norm asks.
“Well dude, its three matches in one! Both matches take place at once with a separate referee assigned to each match. The winners of each match go on to face each other in the final match with the two losers remaining on as lumberjacks. There are no disqualifications with any of the four men being able to interact with each other, but only being able to gain a fall on their respective opponent. My respective opponent is Meltdown, then, if I defeat him, it is either the champ Hilt or my friend Toro.” Buddy explains.
“Damn sucka! That sounds like a hell of a match……” Big Norm replies.
“That it is buddy…… I’ve never been in a No DQ match before….. Its going to be a learning experience for me.” Buddy says grimly, until the two girls start to kiss on him.
“What do you mean?” Norm asks.
“Well, Meltdown grew up on the streets and is all for going ‘hardcore’. I surely don’t want to get slammed through a barb-wired table or get caught on the wrong end of his baseball bat wrapped in a chain.” Buddy declares to the agreement of the ladies.
“We don’t want you to cut up your face Buddy…..” The girls say as they rub on his cheeks.
“See dude, the bunnies agree!” Buddy shouts.
“You gotta fight fire with fire Buddy. Like when I find a sucka that has my sandwich……. I fight dirty!” Big Norm says and pulls out a chain.
“I’m only used to using my mitts…….” Buddy comments, holding up his fists.
“I bet you can’t even use a weapon!” Big Norm barks.
“Sure I can!” Buddy barks back.
“No you can’t!” Norm replies.
“Yes I can!” Buddy barks.
“No you can’t!” Norm shouts back.
“Yes I can!” Buddy shouts.
“No you can’t!” Norm barks.
Ten minutes later……….
“Yes I can! I’ll prove it!” Buddy shouts and storms off with a sledgehammer.
Buddy dashes down the street with the crowd of people giving a slow chase. Buddy gives the hammer a few swings as he climbs up the concrete steps. Buddy grips the hammer’s handle hard as he stares at the Liberty Bell a few feet away. The crowd circles around Buddy in anticipation at what is going to happen next. Big Norm pushes through the crowd and stands next to Buddy.
“Buddy! What the hell are you doing?” Big Norm shouts.
“I’m going to ring the Liberty Bell for our country!” Buddy shouts and gets a “USA! USA USA!” chant from the crowd.
“What are you talking about?” Big Norm asks.
“Our great nation has given us the freedoms many don’t have. In my next match, I will have another freedom, the freedom to use a weapon! USA! USA! USA!” Buddy starts to shout and rushes forward.
Buddy swings the hammer back and starts to hurl it forward to strike the bell. Suddenly, Buddy hits a crack and trips forward. He stumbles ahead uncontrollably, dropping the hammer, and smacking his head right into the Liberty Bell. Buddy falls backward onto his rear as the bell rings out through Philadelphia. Buddy lays on his back as the crowd roars and starts up the “USA” chant again.
“Damn buddy…... you won’t have to use a weapon with that hard head of yours!” Big Norm laughs.
“Uhnnnnnnnn…..” Buddy mumbles.
“What’s that?”
Buddy points up at the rack of a rather beautiful woman stands above him. Big Norm looks up and stares for a moment and says in awe:
“Hooters……..”