Post by Zevon on Jun 15, 2007 21:38:00 GMT -6
(Lee Cash struts down the hall of the Hampton Beach casino on a hot Saturday afternoon. In his left hand he carries a paper cup of cold lemonade; in his right is clasped an official POW:NE microphone. I would tell you what color pants he is wearing but that is irrelevant to the story. Cash's face tells the story. Adorned with the signs of triumph, the sign of victory over his arch-nemesis, Stephie Campbell. Cash is strutting toward greatness, strutting toward becoming the premiere journalist in all of Power On Wrestling. As he wanders the casino halls, which may or may not have red carpet and textured stucco walls (I do not know, I have never been there) he is preparing to ask the question Stephie failed to emit. On the tips of his tongue, "JR Zevon, what happened to Bleep the Troops?" It might not sound all that exciting, but I assure you it is because it features prominently in the following tale of the Eastern Heavyweight Champion. A tale that starts in a hall....and ends there a few moments later. Nothing much happens, but it's the best piece of work you'll see in New Hampshire this week. Why can I say this? Because I'm a cocky asshole. Not a Morrison quality douche-bag, but a student of the art of strategic assholery. Have I lost you yet? I hope not as this truly is an exiting promo. Not Shawn Stevens exciting, I possess not the ability to pull that off. I truly am a nice guy and just cannot bring myself to bore you so.
Anyway, Lee Cash is still strutting down the hall which is probably fairly well lit. Not a Jeff Jarrett strut, that would just be too awesome for a man like Cash, and Cash is afraid of the dark when crazy time traveling roid-raging freaks are lurking about. Anyhoo, have I mentioned Lee Cash is strutting down a hall looking for JR Zevon? Because that is quite important. To make a short story even shorter, JR Zevon is also walking. Zevon and Cash meet and magic! Here is the conversation.)
Zevon: Cash.
Cash: Zevon. Do you have a minute?
Zevon: No, time is not tangible.
Cash: Can you answer a few questions then?
Zevon: I am able to communicate. My vocal chords produce noise and my brain is able to make those noises intelligible.
But I do not want to do so at this moment. So, sod off and go bother Macros or Eagles or some other inferior being.
Good day to you, sir!
(And here our riveting story ends. But first a few more words on the proceedings. It should be noted that Zevon swiped Cash's microphone thus preventing any interruption from being heard. Cash tried of course, but Zevon poked him in the chest a few times...as he is wont to do. Zevon also never stopped walking and was dressed in full black and white ring gear if that makes any difference. And the POW Eastern Heavyweight Championship sat majestically around his noble waist. Cash was disappointed. He had a great question and a few more not so great ones; for example, he wanted to ask Zevon his opinion on the chicanery currently making waves in Kansas. Zevon probably would have insulted everyone involved with the exception of Flying Diamond Cutter Man, citing something about gang violence. But Cash never asked the question so we will never know for sure. Exactly why Zevon was not in the mood for queries is a story for another day. Tune in Sunday night to the Road to Red, White and Bruised to find out...probably, but maybe not. As for what happened to Bleep the Troops: there is still time for that, especially with another patriotic themed DVD taping looming in the not so distant future. See you next time for another exciting adventure with the Eastern Heavyweight Champion. Same Bat reporter (unless it's a Stephie), Same Bat message board, check your local Bat listings for Bat date and Bat time. Cheerio!)
Anyway, Lee Cash is still strutting down the hall which is probably fairly well lit. Not a Jeff Jarrett strut, that would just be too awesome for a man like Cash, and Cash is afraid of the dark when crazy time traveling roid-raging freaks are lurking about. Anyhoo, have I mentioned Lee Cash is strutting down a hall looking for JR Zevon? Because that is quite important. To make a short story even shorter, JR Zevon is also walking. Zevon and Cash meet and magic! Here is the conversation.)
Zevon: Cash.
Cash: Zevon. Do you have a minute?
Zevon: No, time is not tangible.
Cash: Can you answer a few questions then?
Zevon: I am able to communicate. My vocal chords produce noise and my brain is able to make those noises intelligible.
But I do not want to do so at this moment. So, sod off and go bother Macros or Eagles or some other inferior being.
Good day to you, sir!
(And here our riveting story ends. But first a few more words on the proceedings. It should be noted that Zevon swiped Cash's microphone thus preventing any interruption from being heard. Cash tried of course, but Zevon poked him in the chest a few times...as he is wont to do. Zevon also never stopped walking and was dressed in full black and white ring gear if that makes any difference. And the POW Eastern Heavyweight Championship sat majestically around his noble waist. Cash was disappointed. He had a great question and a few more not so great ones; for example, he wanted to ask Zevon his opinion on the chicanery currently making waves in Kansas. Zevon probably would have insulted everyone involved with the exception of Flying Diamond Cutter Man, citing something about gang violence. But Cash never asked the question so we will never know for sure. Exactly why Zevon was not in the mood for queries is a story for another day. Tune in Sunday night to the Road to Red, White and Bruised to find out...probably, but maybe not. As for what happened to Bleep the Troops: there is still time for that, especially with another patriotic themed DVD taping looming in the not so distant future. See you next time for another exciting adventure with the Eastern Heavyweight Champion. Same Bat reporter (unless it's a Stephie), Same Bat message board, check your local Bat listings for Bat date and Bat time. Cheerio!)
