Post by thewobert on Apr 30, 2007 19:53:43 GMT -6
The scene opens with Buddy Love and Big Norm sitting on the couch inside Love’s Winnebago. Buddy is in his usual colorful get up and Big Norm is in a wife-beater and green sweatpants. It’s the same crappy video feed from Buddy’s camcorder. Expressions of intense concentration spread across their glaring faces. Their fingers twiddle away violently at the game controllers in their hands. The Winnebago rocks back and forth from their twitches and thrashing on the couch. Both of them trade grunts and curses as they do battle on the video game. They even start pushing each other on the couch.
“Hello there TV Land………. Buddy Love…..here once again with Big Norm!” He grunts.
“The foot-long midget mother grrrrrrr….” Big Norm squeaks.
“This is the second installment of BGW, Buddy’s Gone Wild!”
“Not really a wild one that it is.”
“Me and Big Norm are here live in the parking lot of the Cabot Arena, right here, in Boston Massachusetts!” Buddy gives a “thumbs up” for an instant before grabbing the controller again.
“Gosh darn this game is tough!” Big Norm barks.
“Gosh darn?” Buddy asks.
“Yeah sucka! You said this is a family show right? I can’t say God da-”
“Okay! Why are we here Big Norm?”
“Cause we don’t wanna pay for parking?”
“No, we are here for the first ever super DVD taping in POW New England’s history!”
“What’s it called again……. Crap!” Big Norm throws down his controller.
“That’s why I’m the master baby!” Buddy leaps from the couch in excitement.
The camera swings over to the TV screen and shows the game “Pong”. The fuzzy, black and white screen shows the basic setup. The replay shows the white dot bounce back and forth between the shaking dashes on each side of the screen. The score reads one to nothing. Buddy does a little victory dance in front of the camera. Big Norm looks angry from his seat on the couch.
“I told you Pong is my game!” Buddy laughs.
“What’s the name of the show again?” Big Norm grunts.
“BIG BANG!”
“Big Bang? Is it going to one giant orgy?”
“Stop reading those nudie magazines Big Norm.
“But you and me know, if there is a honey, she is going to be doing the tango with my foot-long Oscar Minor wiener! Yeah!” Chuckles Big Norm.
“Come on Big Norm, this is a family show.”
“Don’t make me pull out my ruler….”
”Nobody wants to see your ruler Big Norm.”
“O yes they do!”
Big Norm pulls out his ruler and waves it around. The feed flickers and flashes. The camera refocuses and shows Buddy standing in darkness. He looks around as a few small credits roll by. Love waves and shouts, but not a sound comes through. He jumps and waves, but still not a sound.
“Silly me, I got his butt muted!” Chuckles Big Norm.
“What the hell is going on?” Buddy blares from the TV.
“New game sucka! I hate pong!”
“What do you mean new game?”
“I’m more of a Mario man myself. Let’s just say it’s your training for your first ever gauntlet match.”
The screen flickers, and the cheesy Mario music starts up. Buddy finds himself running past paper thin bushes and under brown blocks. Buddy shouts as he jumps up and down under the block, hitting his head. A giant wine cooler flies out of the block and lands in front of him. Buddy downs the bottle and finds himself larger. He starts running again, hopping over stumbling drunk midgets. He runs into a concrete castle and the music changes.
“Looks like its boss time!” Big Norm laughs.
“Bloody hell!” Buddy screams.
“Looks like its two of your opponents in the Gauntlet match.”
A stone wall slams behind Buddy. Suddenly the Monterrey, Mexico’s own “Toro Verde” hops down from the ceiling above. Verde’s luchelibre mask glimmering in the spot light above him. Stepping out from behind Toro comes out the entrepreneur from the city of angels, Trent Hudson. He swings around some money bags in his button-down shirt. Buddy rocks back and forth on the draw bridge. Buddy marches toward Enrique and Hudson ready for anything.
Alvarez opens up his mouth and shots out bottles of Corona. Trent Hudson tosses the money bags into the air in a high arch. Buddy ducks under the flying bottles and dodges the crashing money bags. Buddy charges forward and starts tossing beads at the both of them. The beads have no effect on them until they land on their necks. The both of them fall off the bridge and Buddy runs into the next room. There, sitting on the couch, is the Asian Vixen herself Judith. Buddy’s jaws drop and a flag shoots up the flag pole behind Judith.
“You have great gozongas!” Buddy smiles and gives her his “Buddy Jesus” look.
Judith runs up and gives Buddy another kick to the crotch. Buddy’s knees buckle under him and he falls onto his knees. The screen flickers again and Love finds himself looking up at a laughing Big Norm. Buddy groans as he plants himself next to Big Norm. Big Norm begins mocking Buddy and waving his ruler in Love’s face. Finally, Big Norm hands Buddy an icepack.
“Son of a-”
“Hey Buddy, this is a family show.”
“I guess that concludes this episode of BGW, but before we go, Big Norm, what’s the word of the day?”
Big Norm glares into the camera for a moment, looking serious.
“Hooters!”
Everything goes black.
“Hello there TV Land………. Buddy Love…..here once again with Big Norm!” He grunts.
“The foot-long midget mother grrrrrrr….” Big Norm squeaks.
“This is the second installment of BGW, Buddy’s Gone Wild!”
“Not really a wild one that it is.”
“Me and Big Norm are here live in the parking lot of the Cabot Arena, right here, in Boston Massachusetts!” Buddy gives a “thumbs up” for an instant before grabbing the controller again.
“Gosh darn this game is tough!” Big Norm barks.
“Gosh darn?” Buddy asks.
“Yeah sucka! You said this is a family show right? I can’t say God da-”
“Okay! Why are we here Big Norm?”
“Cause we don’t wanna pay for parking?”
“No, we are here for the first ever super DVD taping in POW New England’s history!”
“What’s it called again……. Crap!” Big Norm throws down his controller.
“That’s why I’m the master baby!” Buddy leaps from the couch in excitement.
The camera swings over to the TV screen and shows the game “Pong”. The fuzzy, black and white screen shows the basic setup. The replay shows the white dot bounce back and forth between the shaking dashes on each side of the screen. The score reads one to nothing. Buddy does a little victory dance in front of the camera. Big Norm looks angry from his seat on the couch.
“I told you Pong is my game!” Buddy laughs.
“What’s the name of the show again?” Big Norm grunts.
“BIG BANG!”
“Big Bang? Is it going to one giant orgy?”
“Stop reading those nudie magazines Big Norm.
“But you and me know, if there is a honey, she is going to be doing the tango with my foot-long Oscar Minor wiener! Yeah!” Chuckles Big Norm.
“Come on Big Norm, this is a family show.”
“Don’t make me pull out my ruler….”
”Nobody wants to see your ruler Big Norm.”
“O yes they do!”
Big Norm pulls out his ruler and waves it around. The feed flickers and flashes. The camera refocuses and shows Buddy standing in darkness. He looks around as a few small credits roll by. Love waves and shouts, but not a sound comes through. He jumps and waves, but still not a sound.
“Silly me, I got his butt muted!” Chuckles Big Norm.
“What the hell is going on?” Buddy blares from the TV.
“New game sucka! I hate pong!”
“What do you mean new game?”
“I’m more of a Mario man myself. Let’s just say it’s your training for your first ever gauntlet match.”
The screen flickers, and the cheesy Mario music starts up. Buddy finds himself running past paper thin bushes and under brown blocks. Buddy shouts as he jumps up and down under the block, hitting his head. A giant wine cooler flies out of the block and lands in front of him. Buddy downs the bottle and finds himself larger. He starts running again, hopping over stumbling drunk midgets. He runs into a concrete castle and the music changes.
“Looks like its boss time!” Big Norm laughs.
“Bloody hell!” Buddy screams.
“Looks like its two of your opponents in the Gauntlet match.”
A stone wall slams behind Buddy. Suddenly the Monterrey, Mexico’s own “Toro Verde” hops down from the ceiling above. Verde’s luchelibre mask glimmering in the spot light above him. Stepping out from behind Toro comes out the entrepreneur from the city of angels, Trent Hudson. He swings around some money bags in his button-down shirt. Buddy rocks back and forth on the draw bridge. Buddy marches toward Enrique and Hudson ready for anything.
Alvarez opens up his mouth and shots out bottles of Corona. Trent Hudson tosses the money bags into the air in a high arch. Buddy ducks under the flying bottles and dodges the crashing money bags. Buddy charges forward and starts tossing beads at the both of them. The beads have no effect on them until they land on their necks. The both of them fall off the bridge and Buddy runs into the next room. There, sitting on the couch, is the Asian Vixen herself Judith. Buddy’s jaws drop and a flag shoots up the flag pole behind Judith.
“You have great gozongas!” Buddy smiles and gives her his “Buddy Jesus” look.
Judith runs up and gives Buddy another kick to the crotch. Buddy’s knees buckle under him and he falls onto his knees. The screen flickers again and Love finds himself looking up at a laughing Big Norm. Buddy groans as he plants himself next to Big Norm. Big Norm begins mocking Buddy and waving his ruler in Love’s face. Finally, Big Norm hands Buddy an icepack.
“Son of a-”
“Hey Buddy, this is a family show.”
“I guess that concludes this episode of BGW, but before we go, Big Norm, what’s the word of the day?”
Big Norm glares into the camera for a moment, looking serious.
“Hooters!”
Everything goes black.