Post by thewobert on May 1, 2007 18:49:05 GMT -6
The scene opens in the men’s locker room inside the Cabot Arena. Inside, a small CD player sits on one of the bench’s and plays some mellow, easy-listening, rock and roll. Sitting back inside one of the wooden lockers is a cigar smoking and wine cooler drinking Buddy Love. His head bobs back and forth to the rhythm of the music. He takes a deep puff on his cigar and chugs his wine cooler for a moment or two. He chuckles to himself as he thumbs through the latest issue of “Playboy”. It’s a few hours before the pay-per-view and Buddy’s starting his pre-match rituals.
Suddenly his stomach roars out. Buddy starts to groan and stumbles out of the locker. He grabs at his gut and bumbles toward the bathroom. He dashes past the camera and bursts through the bathroom door. The camera creeps into the bathroom. You don’t see Buddy; all you hear is hacking and gagging. The sounds come from the furthest stale. The toilet in the stale is flushed as the stale door opens up. Inside, with his head on the seat, Buddy Love groans and moans. He wipes his mouth and rests his head back down on the seat.
The camera goes through the special effects used for dream sequences. The screen fills with falling wine coolers. Cheesy retro-eighties music starts playing in the background as words begin to flash on the screen:
Randall Lovejoy presents,
A Big Bang Film,
Staring Buddy Johansson in,
“Glittering Beads”.
Everything is dark until the massive floating head of John Anthony appears.
“So what’s the scoop Buddy Love? I got your New Orleans Saints going defeated during the season. The odds of you winning the gauntlet match tonight are slim to none Mr. Love. The sad thing is, the odds of you getting laid are even worse. And you can put your money on that!” The head shouts out an evil laugh and winks exaggerated.
Out from his Winnebago door walks out Buddy in a pink Easter Buddy suit. He walks forward in a smiling trance. He limply struts forward with his gut pushed forward and his back arched back. Bottles of wine pop all around Buddy as he walks down a tie-dyed hallway. Beads start to fall from the ceiling as a door opens up ahead. Out from the door comes a strange creature. Slithering across the tile floor is a snake with the head of Death Adder. Its dark green scales glisten as it hisses in front of Buddy.
“Woooooooooooo……” Buddy says.
Suddenly a saxophone appears in Buddy’s hands and he starts playing the blues. The snake starts to dance back and forth, losing its aggression. The snake looks up at Buddy and draws its tongue across its throat in a slashing motion before it slithers away. Buddy marches on down the hallway toward a computer desk. He flops into the chair and looks upon the numbers flying by on the computer screen. Suddenly a massive horse head shoots out form the screen. The horse roars out in different languages into Buddy’s face. It even flips Buddy the middle finger with its hooves.
“Ahhhhhh!” Buddy screams awake.
He looks around in a frantic manor, making sure the close is clear. He then breathes a sigh of relief.
“Oh boy…. I think I need to lay off the crab legs and Cajun food for a while……”
The scene ends.
Suddenly his stomach roars out. Buddy starts to groan and stumbles out of the locker. He grabs at his gut and bumbles toward the bathroom. He dashes past the camera and bursts through the bathroom door. The camera creeps into the bathroom. You don’t see Buddy; all you hear is hacking and gagging. The sounds come from the furthest stale. The toilet in the stale is flushed as the stale door opens up. Inside, with his head on the seat, Buddy Love groans and moans. He wipes his mouth and rests his head back down on the seat.
The camera goes through the special effects used for dream sequences. The screen fills with falling wine coolers. Cheesy retro-eighties music starts playing in the background as words begin to flash on the screen:
Randall Lovejoy presents,
A Big Bang Film,
Staring Buddy Johansson in,
“Glittering Beads”.
Everything is dark until the massive floating head of John Anthony appears.
“So what’s the scoop Buddy Love? I got your New Orleans Saints going defeated during the season. The odds of you winning the gauntlet match tonight are slim to none Mr. Love. The sad thing is, the odds of you getting laid are even worse. And you can put your money on that!” The head shouts out an evil laugh and winks exaggerated.
Out from his Winnebago door walks out Buddy in a pink Easter Buddy suit. He walks forward in a smiling trance. He limply struts forward with his gut pushed forward and his back arched back. Bottles of wine pop all around Buddy as he walks down a tie-dyed hallway. Beads start to fall from the ceiling as a door opens up ahead. Out from the door comes a strange creature. Slithering across the tile floor is a snake with the head of Death Adder. Its dark green scales glisten as it hisses in front of Buddy.
“Woooooooooooo……” Buddy says.
Suddenly a saxophone appears in Buddy’s hands and he starts playing the blues. The snake starts to dance back and forth, losing its aggression. The snake looks up at Buddy and draws its tongue across its throat in a slashing motion before it slithers away. Buddy marches on down the hallway toward a computer desk. He flops into the chair and looks upon the numbers flying by on the computer screen. Suddenly a massive horse head shoots out form the screen. The horse roars out in different languages into Buddy’s face. It even flips Buddy the middle finger with its hooves.
“Ahhhhhh!” Buddy screams awake.
He looks around in a frantic manor, making sure the close is clear. He then breathes a sigh of relief.
“Oh boy…. I think I need to lay off the crab legs and Cajun food for a while……”
The scene ends.