Post by imtehlueser on Apr 16, 2007 17:57:02 GMT -6
A video starts playing on the screen, immediately showing David Hilt's face, who is recording again.
Dave: Whoo, I'm a lucky son of a bitch. I see a tow truck pullin up. I've still been stranded this whole time in the middle of nowhere, and I finally am going to get some help. Although, one could argue that if I were truly lucky, I would have been in this predicament in the first place, but logic has no place in wrestling related affairs! Oh! He's stopping.
Dave steps out of his car, camcorder in hand, and the truck driver does the same.
Driver: Hey there, ya need some help?
Hilt: Yeah dude, I appreciate it.
Driver: No problem. I'll give ya a lift into town, and we'll fix that thang right there right up more right than a right thing that's damn right.
Hilt: ....
Driver: Say, what's that stuff on your camamajig?
Hilt: Shi...uh, er...nothing, let's just get going, yeah?
Driver: Alrighty.
The tow-truck driver hooks Dave's car up, and begins to ride him into town. Dave rides in the passenger seat. He looks around, and is pretty disgusted.
Dave: (talking to himself under his breath) ham sandwich....turkey sandwich...porn mag...roast beef sandwich...beer cans...beer bottles...sandwich with who know's what godforsaken meat...hard liquor...is that a tranny magazine!?
Driver: Huh?
David: Oh, nothing...So....Your license plate says fresh...dice on the rear-view mirror....I guess this type of tow truck's pretty rare, eh?
Driver: What's that there?
Dave: ugh....Nah, forget it. Yo holmes, let's just get to town.
So they pulled into town. It's about 7 or 8 pm now. The driver drags Hilt's car into a mechanic's shop, and then leaves.
Hilt: Smell ya later...actually, hopefully not. d**n this place is a dump, certainly no kingdom.
Mechanic: Hey boy, this here'll be fixed up in no time right there daggum I tell ya it's gon be fixin ready to roar in about a no time you won't even be able to tell so what I say.
Hilt: Um...okay...You know I just want you to fix my car right?
Mechanic: Ain't that what i just say i do mang dang.
Hilt: ...Yeah, (talking slowly and clearly) I...waaant...myyy...caaar....fiiixed....okaaaay?
Mechanic: Is you a stupid one there boy I tell you dang boy don't listen what with ya ipeas and stuffs blockin up ya ears might well be about that there deafness i tell you what. But I tell you you done over heated your engine too but I have this fixed up there right in no time fixin to be a beaut almost sexy enough to make sweet lovin to i tell you what right there in that exhaust pipe i tell you i done experienced many a scar and burn but i tell ya it's worth it mang my babe she be a fine piece a car.
Hilt: ...I'm going to go now...
Hilt leaves, hoping the mechanic is indeed going to fix his car. Hopefully it'll be done by the time he get's back. He wanders around town, and finds a bar. Even though he doesn't drink, he goes in a takes a seat.
Dave: Hey, do you guys have any type of soda or water?
Bartender: What's soda?
Dave: ...oh my god, these people must be permanently drunk.
Random Hick: Hey girl, I think he mean that there pop.
Bartender: Why'd someone call pop soda?
Hilt: I...I'll just take a pop, pleace.
she pours him a rootbeer. And another, and some more...Dave pretty much spends the whole time here, ruining his kidneys. He starts to leave, hoping his car is fixed, and has some gas.
Hilt: Thanks babe, you been great. *hilt sneaks a peck on the bartender's cheek, and she blushes.*
The random hick from before: Oh what a glorious day.
Hilt:...eh?
Hick: My daughter done finally found a young man ta marry, i tell you I'm more happy than Combat Soldier watchin roadhouse.
Hilt: Woah, woah, woah, woah...woah....Hey, this isn't my bat...wait...wut?
Hick: You done kissed my daughter, that means you done fell in love with her. Now that you done got her pregnant, you's gon marry her!
Hilt: I ...what!? Nooo dude. I'm not marrying no one, and what the hell makes you think kissing has anything to do with...oh nevermind...I'm gonna leave now....
Hick: *pulls out a shotgun* You ain't goin nowhere. Now, we don't take kindly to your kind round here.
Owner of the bar: Now Skeeter, he ain't hurtin nobody....
Hick: No! I got a question for Mr. "kiss people's daughters and then try to run away from his parental and husbandly responsibilities here!"
Hilt:...Okay I've had enough parodies for one day, I'll take my leave...
Dave waits a few seconds, then busts out of the bar, with a ton of barhicks after. The one with the shotgun starts shooting, but never hits.
Hilt: I never thought I'd say this, but thank god for alcohol!
He keeps running, and get's to the mechanic's shop. He isn't there, but he sees the keys on a table, jumps in the car, and drives off like a bat out of hell. He realizes he left the camcorder in the car, but then notices he is wearing the cap with the hidden camera.
Hilt: ...I'm not even sure I wanted anyone to see that...
He tosses the cap to the floor of the car, ending the recording.
Dave: Whoo, I'm a lucky son of a bitch. I see a tow truck pullin up. I've still been stranded this whole time in the middle of nowhere, and I finally am going to get some help. Although, one could argue that if I were truly lucky, I would have been in this predicament in the first place, but logic has no place in wrestling related affairs! Oh! He's stopping.
Dave steps out of his car, camcorder in hand, and the truck driver does the same.
Driver: Hey there, ya need some help?
Hilt: Yeah dude, I appreciate it.
Driver: No problem. I'll give ya a lift into town, and we'll fix that thang right there right up more right than a right thing that's damn right.
Hilt: ....
Driver: Say, what's that stuff on your camamajig?
Hilt: Shi...uh, er...nothing, let's just get going, yeah?
Driver: Alrighty.
The tow-truck driver hooks Dave's car up, and begins to ride him into town. Dave rides in the passenger seat. He looks around, and is pretty disgusted.
Dave: (talking to himself under his breath) ham sandwich....turkey sandwich...porn mag...roast beef sandwich...beer cans...beer bottles...sandwich with who know's what godforsaken meat...hard liquor...is that a tranny magazine!?
Driver: Huh?
David: Oh, nothing...So....Your license plate says fresh...dice on the rear-view mirror....I guess this type of tow truck's pretty rare, eh?
Driver: What's that there?
Dave: ugh....Nah, forget it. Yo holmes, let's just get to town.
So they pulled into town. It's about 7 or 8 pm now. The driver drags Hilt's car into a mechanic's shop, and then leaves.
Hilt: Smell ya later...actually, hopefully not. d**n this place is a dump, certainly no kingdom.
Mechanic: Hey boy, this here'll be fixed up in no time right there daggum I tell ya it's gon be fixin ready to roar in about a no time you won't even be able to tell so what I say.
Hilt: Um...okay...You know I just want you to fix my car right?
Mechanic: Ain't that what i just say i do mang dang.
Hilt: ...Yeah, (talking slowly and clearly) I...waaant...myyy...caaar....fiiixed....okaaaay?
Mechanic: Is you a stupid one there boy I tell you dang boy don't listen what with ya ipeas and stuffs blockin up ya ears might well be about that there deafness i tell you what. But I tell you you done over heated your engine too but I have this fixed up there right in no time fixin to be a beaut almost sexy enough to make sweet lovin to i tell you what right there in that exhaust pipe i tell you i done experienced many a scar and burn but i tell ya it's worth it mang my babe she be a fine piece a car.
Hilt: ...I'm going to go now...
Hilt leaves, hoping the mechanic is indeed going to fix his car. Hopefully it'll be done by the time he get's back. He wanders around town, and finds a bar. Even though he doesn't drink, he goes in a takes a seat.
Dave: Hey, do you guys have any type of soda or water?
Bartender: What's soda?
Dave: ...oh my god, these people must be permanently drunk.
Random Hick: Hey girl, I think he mean that there pop.
Bartender: Why'd someone call pop soda?
Hilt: I...I'll just take a pop, pleace.
she pours him a rootbeer. And another, and some more...Dave pretty much spends the whole time here, ruining his kidneys. He starts to leave, hoping his car is fixed, and has some gas.
Hilt: Thanks babe, you been great. *hilt sneaks a peck on the bartender's cheek, and she blushes.*
The random hick from before: Oh what a glorious day.
Hilt:...eh?
Hick: My daughter done finally found a young man ta marry, i tell you I'm more happy than Combat Soldier watchin roadhouse.
Hilt: Woah, woah, woah, woah...woah....Hey, this isn't my bat...wait...wut?
Hick: You done kissed my daughter, that means you done fell in love with her. Now that you done got her pregnant, you's gon marry her!
Hilt: I ...what!? Nooo dude. I'm not marrying no one, and what the hell makes you think kissing has anything to do with...oh nevermind...I'm gonna leave now....
Hick: *pulls out a shotgun* You ain't goin nowhere. Now, we don't take kindly to your kind round here.
Owner of the bar: Now Skeeter, he ain't hurtin nobody....
Hick: No! I got a question for Mr. "kiss people's daughters and then try to run away from his parental and husbandly responsibilities here!"
Hilt:...Okay I've had enough parodies for one day, I'll take my leave...
Dave waits a few seconds, then busts out of the bar, with a ton of barhicks after. The one with the shotgun starts shooting, but never hits.
Hilt: I never thought I'd say this, but thank god for alcohol!
He keeps running, and get's to the mechanic's shop. He isn't there, but he sees the keys on a table, jumps in the car, and drives off like a bat out of hell. He realizes he left the camcorder in the car, but then notices he is wearing the cap with the hidden camera.
Hilt: ...I'm not even sure I wanted anyone to see that...
He tosses the cap to the floor of the car, ending the recording.