Post by imtehlueser on Apr 18, 2007 18:29:07 GMT -6
The scene opens with a view of David Hilt, traveling down the long stretch of country road he was on before his little encounter with the people of the hick town from the previous recording.
Some Voice:What was the name of that town anyway? You'd figure he'd at least tell you that in one recording or another.
Fans watching are confused. David Hilt's mouth wasn't moving when that was said, but it obviously came from the video.
Voice: Oh come on, you remember me! I hope...
The voice is heard sniffling. Dave looks around, obviously puzzled. It seems as if he only slightly heard the voice. But then he starts speaking into the camera himself, which is mounted on the dashboard.
Hilt: I...I'm not even going to mention what happened in that town. We'd all do best to just forget about it...please.
Anyway, what I will talk about are my opponents for my upcoming match. I found a payphone a ways back, and I gave a call to my buddy Randall Lovejoy. He informed me that I'll be in a tag match with Jack "Rana King" Greaves. Sounds like an okay guy. I don't actually know anything about him though. Randall did mention something about the hotel being pissed about something involving peanut butter and jelly. I would guess the guy just bought a ton of pb&j sandwiches. I don't see why the hotel would be pissed though, so the guy may love pb and j, so what? They're making money off of it anyway. I gotta remember not to order room service too often there... I wasn't paying attention when he said something about pills either. Maybe the dude has diabeetus. Who knows.
Wait...wasn't I supposed to be talking about my opponents...? ...Yeah, sorry. So Randall said they would be Ogre "Demon Freak" Lambert, and Phil " Mr. Who?" Weiss.
I...I don't think I want so say much about Ogre. I think the dude dreamed about killing me, and the ra...never mind. Shit, if I didn't know any better, I'd think the dude hexed me, with all I've been though lately.
And Phil? ...Eh. Have I ever even seen the guy? I dunno. I do know me and Jack will own though. I mean, he's the king of Rana. He could probably pay off the ref or something. I hear he can do a killer hurricanrana too, but that's beside the point. If I didn't get tagged out in my debut, I guarantee I would have had that match. You'd best believe I'm going to prove that.
The voice from before begins to speak, in a dreamy, admiring tone.
Voice:He's so inspiring. I know you can do it Dave!
Hilt definitely heard the voice this time. He looks a bit afraid, as would anyone if they heard some random voice out of nowhere.
Hilt: ...God?
Voice: pfft. Of course not. Did you forget me so quickly?
Hilt: ... ... ... Oh God.
Voice: I just said-
Hilt: (cutting him off) I know!
Voice: You miss me?
Hilt: The last time I saw...er, heard you, I forced you to go away. Why would I have missed you?
Voice: I just though you need some space.
Hilt: Space...? You act like we're...oh nevermind. Just go away again.
Voice: Oh come on, let's chat. You'll still speak to me, right?
Hilt: ...I'm good.
Voice: What fun we shall have.
Hilt: No, really. Matter of fact, how can I talk to you when I'm supposed to be addressing the good POW fans about my match?
Voice: But you already did. Plus, I'm your biggest fan. You can spare time for me.
Hilt: Fine, fine. Whoever...whatever you are, I'll talk with you, only for a little while!
Hilt endures minutes of seemingly endless banter from the voice. Having forgot to turn the camera off, so have the POW fans watching.
Voice: You would think someone'd cut the feed by now.
Hilt: What? Oh, damn. The camera is still on. Oh well, we can just be done now.
Voice: Aw, but-
Hilt: Go!
Once again, the voice doesn't say anything after being told to leave. He assumes that like last time, he went away. Soon afterward, the car sputters and slows to a stop.
Voice: Ooh, out of gas again. That sucks.
Hilt: I thought you left, ugh.
Voice: Yeah so, running out of gas twice in this backwood hellhole. That totally doesn't seem like some kind of shitty plot device.
Hilt: Shut up. The damn mechanic must not have given me enough gas to get to the next gas station. How long can this road be, anyway...
Voice: Maybe another shitty plot device?
Hilt: I'm not gonna even try to understand what you're talking about.
After suffering more mindnumbing chatter with the voice, someone starts pulling up behind him.
Hilt: Oh god. They found me. Oh well, at least the chick was cute. If I have to marry her, might as well bang her everyday. We'll see if daddy likes that.
After he actually looks into the rear-view mirror, he sees it's not the hicks. It's a cop, who is beginning to walk to the car.
Hilt: Oh no, I'm gonna get busted for that cash I took...
Voice: Nah, it was the cashier's fault. Happens all the time, not illegal. Especially if you... didn't happen to notice...
Hilt: Right, right... I just didn't notice...wait, how do you even know about that?
By now, the cop has reached the car, and seems to have helpful intentions.
Cop: Car break down?
Voice: Nah, I just figured this'd be a great place to take a nap. Here's your-(hilt cuts him off)
Hilt: Okay! I'm sorry, I took the money and ran! I didn't know what would happen!
If the voice had a body, you can tell he would have done a facepalm.
Voice: d**n...
Cop: ...What?
Hilt: Y'know, about the cashier who accidentally overpaid me $100, at the gas station.
The cop laughs. A lot. And then some.
Cop: (while stifling his laughter) We don't do nothin about people gettin too much change. But, if it'll make you feel better, I'll drive you back and you can give back the money. We'll get some gasoline for you while we're there.
Voice: You ever played Street Fighter 2?
Hilt: Ssh
The cop is obviously confused, but he answers anyway.
Cop: No, I can't say that I have.
Voice: Do it!
Hilt: No...
Voice: Shoryuken!
As the word is screamed, Hilt dragon punches the cop, and sends him flying. After being down for a few seconds, the cop gets back up, and stomps toward Hilt.
Cop: Okay buddy, somethins really wrong with you. Talkin to yourself, hittin a cop...
Voice: To be fair, while he might be crazy, he isn't talkin to himself.
The cop sees that Hilt didn't say that, and is frightened.
Cop: What kind of trick is this?
Hilt: Here, all the money from my first check. POW pays pretty well. Take it, just don't arrest me! I don't know why I did that!
Cop: ...POW? ...Hey! You, you're David Hilt!
Hilt: ...?
Cop: Yeah, I watched you debut in midwest. You're hilarious. I dare say you would have won your match if you could have gotten back in the ring.
Hilt: ...I love you.
Cop: Huh? Anyway, keep your money. Let's go get your gas.
Hilt: You're going to let me off?
Cop: Hell yeah. I can't wait to tell everyone I got knocked out by a pro wrassler.
Hilt: Wrassler...? Nevermind.
Dave begins to think he hadn't escaped the hickness of this place after all. But he and the cop did go ahead to the nearest gas station, and brought back enough to fill up the car.
Voice: Alls well that ends well.
Hilt: If you don't leave me alone...
He stuffs tissue in his ears, hoping it would be the one way to get away from the voice.
Voice:...So yeah, what's that for?
Hilt: My god!
Voice: Hey, I Said before I wasn't-
Dave throws the camcorder out of the car in frustration. Of course, it broke.
Some Voice:What was the name of that town anyway? You'd figure he'd at least tell you that in one recording or another.
Fans watching are confused. David Hilt's mouth wasn't moving when that was said, but it obviously came from the video.
Voice: Oh come on, you remember me! I hope...
The voice is heard sniffling. Dave looks around, obviously puzzled. It seems as if he only slightly heard the voice. But then he starts speaking into the camera himself, which is mounted on the dashboard.
Hilt: I...I'm not even going to mention what happened in that town. We'd all do best to just forget about it...please.
Anyway, what I will talk about are my opponents for my upcoming match. I found a payphone a ways back, and I gave a call to my buddy Randall Lovejoy. He informed me that I'll be in a tag match with Jack "Rana King" Greaves. Sounds like an okay guy. I don't actually know anything about him though. Randall did mention something about the hotel being pissed about something involving peanut butter and jelly. I would guess the guy just bought a ton of pb&j sandwiches. I don't see why the hotel would be pissed though, so the guy may love pb and j, so what? They're making money off of it anyway. I gotta remember not to order room service too often there... I wasn't paying attention when he said something about pills either. Maybe the dude has diabeetus. Who knows.
Wait...wasn't I supposed to be talking about my opponents...? ...Yeah, sorry. So Randall said they would be Ogre "Demon Freak" Lambert, and Phil " Mr. Who?" Weiss.
I...I don't think I want so say much about Ogre. I think the dude dreamed about killing me, and the ra...never mind. Shit, if I didn't know any better, I'd think the dude hexed me, with all I've been though lately.
And Phil? ...Eh. Have I ever even seen the guy? I dunno. I do know me and Jack will own though. I mean, he's the king of Rana. He could probably pay off the ref or something. I hear he can do a killer hurricanrana too, but that's beside the point. If I didn't get tagged out in my debut, I guarantee I would have had that match. You'd best believe I'm going to prove that.
The voice from before begins to speak, in a dreamy, admiring tone.
Voice:He's so inspiring. I know you can do it Dave!
Hilt definitely heard the voice this time. He looks a bit afraid, as would anyone if they heard some random voice out of nowhere.
Hilt: ...God?
Voice: pfft. Of course not. Did you forget me so quickly?
Hilt: ... ... ... Oh God.
Voice: I just said-
Hilt: (cutting him off) I know!
Voice: You miss me?
Hilt: The last time I saw...er, heard you, I forced you to go away. Why would I have missed you?
Voice: I just though you need some space.
Hilt: Space...? You act like we're...oh nevermind. Just go away again.
Voice: Oh come on, let's chat. You'll still speak to me, right?
Hilt: ...I'm good.
Voice: What fun we shall have.
Hilt: No, really. Matter of fact, how can I talk to you when I'm supposed to be addressing the good POW fans about my match?
Voice: But you already did. Plus, I'm your biggest fan. You can spare time for me.
Hilt: Fine, fine. Whoever...whatever you are, I'll talk with you, only for a little while!
Hilt endures minutes of seemingly endless banter from the voice. Having forgot to turn the camera off, so have the POW fans watching.
Voice: You would think someone'd cut the feed by now.
Hilt: What? Oh, damn. The camera is still on. Oh well, we can just be done now.
Voice: Aw, but-
Hilt: Go!
Once again, the voice doesn't say anything after being told to leave. He assumes that like last time, he went away. Soon afterward, the car sputters and slows to a stop.
Voice: Ooh, out of gas again. That sucks.
Hilt: I thought you left, ugh.
Voice: Yeah so, running out of gas twice in this backwood hellhole. That totally doesn't seem like some kind of shitty plot device.
Hilt: Shut up. The damn mechanic must not have given me enough gas to get to the next gas station. How long can this road be, anyway...
Voice: Maybe another shitty plot device?
Hilt: I'm not gonna even try to understand what you're talking about.
After suffering more mindnumbing chatter with the voice, someone starts pulling up behind him.
Hilt: Oh god. They found me. Oh well, at least the chick was cute. If I have to marry her, might as well bang her everyday. We'll see if daddy likes that.
After he actually looks into the rear-view mirror, he sees it's not the hicks. It's a cop, who is beginning to walk to the car.
Hilt: Oh no, I'm gonna get busted for that cash I took...
Voice: Nah, it was the cashier's fault. Happens all the time, not illegal. Especially if you... didn't happen to notice...
Hilt: Right, right... I just didn't notice...wait, how do you even know about that?
By now, the cop has reached the car, and seems to have helpful intentions.
Cop: Car break down?
Voice: Nah, I just figured this'd be a great place to take a nap. Here's your-(hilt cuts him off)
Hilt: Okay! I'm sorry, I took the money and ran! I didn't know what would happen!
If the voice had a body, you can tell he would have done a facepalm.
Voice: d**n...
Cop: ...What?
Hilt: Y'know, about the cashier who accidentally overpaid me $100, at the gas station.
The cop laughs. A lot. And then some.
Cop: (while stifling his laughter) We don't do nothin about people gettin too much change. But, if it'll make you feel better, I'll drive you back and you can give back the money. We'll get some gasoline for you while we're there.
Voice: You ever played Street Fighter 2?
Hilt: Ssh
The cop is obviously confused, but he answers anyway.
Cop: No, I can't say that I have.
Voice: Do it!
Hilt: No...
Voice: Shoryuken!
As the word is screamed, Hilt dragon punches the cop, and sends him flying. After being down for a few seconds, the cop gets back up, and stomps toward Hilt.
Cop: Okay buddy, somethins really wrong with you. Talkin to yourself, hittin a cop...
Voice: To be fair, while he might be crazy, he isn't talkin to himself.
The cop sees that Hilt didn't say that, and is frightened.
Cop: What kind of trick is this?
Hilt: Here, all the money from my first check. POW pays pretty well. Take it, just don't arrest me! I don't know why I did that!
Cop: ...POW? ...Hey! You, you're David Hilt!
Hilt: ...?
Cop: Yeah, I watched you debut in midwest. You're hilarious. I dare say you would have won your match if you could have gotten back in the ring.
Hilt: ...I love you.
Cop: Huh? Anyway, keep your money. Let's go get your gas.
Hilt: You're going to let me off?
Cop: Hell yeah. I can't wait to tell everyone I got knocked out by a pro wrassler.
Hilt: Wrassler...? Nevermind.
Dave begins to think he hadn't escaped the hickness of this place after all. But he and the cop did go ahead to the nearest gas station, and brought back enough to fill up the car.
Voice: Alls well that ends well.
Hilt: If you don't leave me alone...
He stuffs tissue in his ears, hoping it would be the one way to get away from the voice.
Voice:...So yeah, what's that for?
Hilt: My god!
Voice: Hey, I Said before I wasn't-
Dave throws the camcorder out of the car in frustration. Of course, it broke.